A bit of support, kindness, and humanity goes a long, long way. But unfortunately, some people are so self-centered, entitled, and toxic that they throw empathy out of the window. For them, your struggles mean nothing.
Internet users took to a brutally honest thread about their most vulnerable, toughest moments in life, sharing the very worst things that someone has ever told them in response. It’s the kind of stuff that nobody should ever say if they don’t have a heart made of stone. It’s infuriating. Scroll down to read their experiences with the most emotionally unintelligent people anywhere on the planet.
#1
I told my friend I was sleeping in my car for the past month, he then proceeded to tell me how good his thanksgiving’s was going to be.
I had my dog at that time and I remember going to buy food, driving to a park and sat there for 2 hours eating a thanksgiving meal with my dog.
I had my dog at that time and I remember going to buy food, driving to a park and sat there for 2 hours eating a thanksgiving meal with my dog.
Report
84points
#2
The walls of my former apartment were so water-damaged and contaminated with mold that I ended up in the hospital with respiratory issues and MCAS that have caused permanent damage. My cats got scary sick too. I had to find a new apartment, throw out nearly everything I owned (furniture, family heirlooms, notes from now-gone loved ones etc.) and thoroughly clean every inch of what I could clean and take with me, or they would bring the mold spores with them. What I couldn't bear to throw out but couldn't clean, I have locked up in air-tight storage containers in the basement. It took weeks of back-breaking work while I was still extremely ill, work I had to do mostly alone to not get anyone else sick, and it wiped out my savings. I lost 30+ lbs because I would cough until I vomited. While this was going on, I was told I might lose my (very niche) job due to budget cuts, found out I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (I had to figure it out myself while sick because my doctors weren't listening, and I got it confirmed in April by a specialist), got dumped by my boyfriend, and nearly lost one of my best friends.
When I tried to express how stressful those months were, a colleague responded with, "Yeah, but didn't you feel so much better, throwing out all that unwanted junk?"
I couldn't seem to make her understand that it wasn't a "spring cleaning".
In case anyone wants to know how things turned out: I've been in the new place for a few months now, and my cats are healthier, I'm slowly recovering, my job is safe for at least one more year, and my friend is doing well. I also finally snapped out of denial, so my ex dumping me turned out to be the kindest thing he could have done, and I'm happier and less anxious without him. I'm also pursuing legal action against my former landlord and writing a book about it all.
When I tried to express how stressful those months were, a colleague responded with, "Yeah, but didn't you feel so much better, throwing out all that unwanted junk?"
I couldn't seem to make her understand that it wasn't a "spring cleaning".
In case anyone wants to know how things turned out: I've been in the new place for a few months now, and my cats are healthier, I'm slowly recovering, my job is safe for at least one more year, and my friend is doing well. I also finally snapped out of denial, so my ex dumping me turned out to be the kindest thing he could have done, and I'm happier and less anxious without him. I'm also pursuing legal action against my former landlord and writing a book about it all.
73points
#3
Lifelong dog owner. Age 32, I laid on the floor with my deaf dog Stella while putting her down. Crying. I always made sure she could see me or feel the vibrations from my voice. The VET said, “What, haven’t you put down a dog before?” Yes, but not this one. Found another vet after that.
Report
69points
The silver lining is that emotional intelligence, empathy, kindness, altruism, and all of those community-centered values are things that anyone can learn. With enough self-awareness, practice, and a growth mentality, anyone can become a better person. The bad news? Change is hard. And it requires you to set your ego aside and take responsibility for your behavior. Not everyone is willing to do this.
According to the Harvard Medical School, there are several ways in which you can practice cultivating more empathy for others:
- Actively listening to other people
- Being sensitive toward others by thinking about the questions you ask them
- Acknowledging your (un)conscious and implicit biases and prejudices
A good rule of thumb to keep in mind is that you ought to focus on what the other person is saying. If all you’re doing is waiting for your turn to speak, you’re being selfish.
Make eye contact with the person, don’t interrupt them, and don’t hand out unsolicited advice unless they specifically ask for your input. Sometimes, the other person simply wants to be heard, seen, and understood, not for you to try to fix their problems.
#4
I was depressed due to my epilepsy, finally confided in my wife. She told me "You know Gina, right?" (gina is her niece who was in a car accident and is paralyzed from waist down) "Gina has every reason to be depressed but she's not."
Thanks for dismissing how I feel.
I never confided in anyone again.
Thanks for dismissing how I feel.
I never confided in anyone again.
Report
67points
#5
I found out in December that my partner of 18 years (spouse for 10) had been cheating on me the entirety of our relationship - and when I went home to my parents’ house to decompress, my step dad decided that was the perfect time to run down everything he thought I’d done wrong in the last thirty years, told me I was arrogant and needed to “humble myself,” and then told me I needed to leave because “if his cousin couldn’t stay here, then no family of my moms can stay at their house either.”
And here I thought I was his daughter, too, after 41 years.
And here I thought I was his daughter, too, after 41 years.
61points
#6
As a teen, I was adopted by a couple and they scammed me out of all my orphan benefit cheques. When I figured it out they had me suddenly kicked out. I was picked up from high school by a social worker with her van full of my belongings in garbage bags. I was in dumb shock and then just started sobbing.
She rolled her eyes and told me to knock it off.
She rolled her eyes and told me to knock it off.
Report
57points
Dealing with someone who is self-absorbed, entitled, and narcissistic is a nightmare. All they care about are their wants and needs, not anybody else’s well-being. To be clear, prioritizing your welfare isn’t wrong, so long as you balance it with the needs of your community.
As per Verywell Mind, some of the biggest red flags that an individual is overly self-centered include behaviors like these:
- Dominating conversations, with a focus on their problems and successes
- Lacking empathy and being unable to put themselves in other people’s shoes
- Taking more from their relationships than they give
- Being unwilling to compromise or do things someone else’s way
- Not taking responsibility for their actions
- Blaming others for anything bad that happens
- Always wanting to be the center of attention
#7
My mother was a school counselor and I was depressed. I think I was in her office and there was even another person next to her, and she yelled at me angrily, "You better start talking to me [about it] or you're coming to sit in my office everyday after school until you do!!"
Both my parents had psychology degrees and yet they acted like idiots when it came to raising their own children.
Both my parents had psychology degrees and yet they acted like idiots when it came to raising their own children.
48points
#8
A Maths teacher demanding to know why I failed a test so badly in front of all the students when I hadn’t been at the school to learn that particular subject in the test because I lost my dad. And whats worse, he knew that.
Boy did he get it from my mum and the Headmaster!
Boy did he get it from my mum and the Headmaster!
Report
47points
#9
The first person I ever opened up to about my depression was my best friend at the time. His response “You’re not depressed, you don’t have anything to be depressed about.”
10 years later I was finally diagnosed with bipolar 2 and started medication and 6 years later I’m doing amazing. That friend is no longer in my life after being best friends for 18 years for an uncountable amount of reasons.
10 years later I was finally diagnosed with bipolar 2 and started medication and 6 years later I’m doing amazing. That friend is no longer in my life after being best friends for 18 years for an uncountable amount of reasons.
Report
47points
If you’re feeling social today, Pandas, we’d like to hear your thoughts in the comments at the bottom of this post. What is the very worst thing that someone has said to you when you were going through a particularly tough time in your life? Why do you think they said it? How did you react?
What do you do to live life with a bit more empathy? Let us know!
#10
You still have to take care of us and cook for us. My late mom said that after I lost a baby at 14 weeks in July of 2006.
Report
41points
#11
You may be laying in the gutter' but at least you're looking at the stars.
I was homeless, sleeping outside during the autumn and winter months while working 3 jobs.
I was homeless, sleeping outside during the autumn and winter months while working 3 jobs.
41points
#12
Tops my list easily. Sitting on a waiting list for about a year after having a small scale heart attack, I go to a doctor to talk about why my chest and heart still hurt, and that I constantly feel like I worked an 18 hour shift no matter how much I rest, and he's got nerve to tell me, "You've just got to try a little bit harder, okay?".
39points
#13
My spouse herniated a disc in their back which required a spinal fusion of the C5/C6. They were out of work for several months as a result (physical labor) and finances were tight. While they were recovering, my mom asked if I would have lunch with her at a restaurant known for their large portions. At the end of the meal, I mentioned wanting to bring home some of the leftovers. She looked me straight in the eye and said “you’re always trying to take advantage of me, aren’t you.”
I paid for the meal and there were enough leftovers for us both to share. I’ll never forgot the look on her face, and we have not spoken in two years.
I paid for the meal and there were enough leftovers for us both to share. I’ll never forgot the look on her face, and we have not spoken in two years.
Report
39points
#14
“Well you wouldn’t be depressed if you were a better christian and trusted god more”
I was 12 btw. Also no longer religious.
I was 12 btw. Also no longer religious.
37points
#15
I have multiple mental health issues and they're so severe I'm disabled. And someone told me they wished I had cancer so I'd have something serious and hopefully shut up forever :(.
37points
#16
“Boys will be boys” from the MIL when I told her, her son cheated on me, whilst I was pregnant with his child.
Report
37points
#17
I go to the doctor and I’m telling him all about how I’m so depressed and want to die. I’m at the point where every day is misery and my husband is deeply concerned.
He goes, “why don’t you try going on a holiday?”
He goes, “why don’t you try going on a holiday?”
Report
34points
#18
Since i have no support system at all i finally opened up to my best friend that i struggle very much with anorexia (even though it was very obvious, i was always overweight but suddenly dropped 100lbs in half a year)
she then started commenting on my body and enabling me (e.g. "you're so much thinner and pretty now!!", "omg i only ate a little breakfast today what about you??", "you look sickly, it's kinda hot") which shes NEVER done before but the thing that finally got me cut her off was when she asked me for "ed tips". whatever that means anyways?
she then started commenting on my body and enabling me (e.g. "you're so much thinner and pretty now!!", "omg i only ate a little breakfast today what about you??", "you look sickly, it's kinda hot") which shes NEVER done before but the thing that finally got me cut her off was when she asked me for "ed tips". whatever that means anyways?
34points
#19
"At least now they're in a better place". Will always be the wildest thing to me.
Report
32points
#20
My mother. I had just come out of ICU after a stroke & fall downstairs. While the doctor was going through my injuries she interrupted him to exclaim she had also fractured her skull! So desperate for attention (yes she has a personality disorder). Sent her packing after that.
Report
31points