When you confide in someone, you're basically giving that person a compliment: I trust you enough to tell you something nobody else knows.
But there's no guarantee that a week, a month, or even a few years later they won't decide to use that information against you.
One man, who had been trying for a baby with his wife, received an email from her "frenemy." In it, the woman claimed that at one point his partner had been unfaithful to him with her ex, which she claimed was true because his wife had told her herself.
So he shared his story with the subreddit r/relationship_advice and asked its members to help him figure out what to do next.
When you're trying for a baby, the last thing you want to hear is gossip about your partner and their ex
Image credits: leszekglasner/Envato (not the actual photo)
But this man received an email from a woman who swore her claims were true
His wife admitted to the allegations
Image credits: CCISUL/Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwra_wifeaffur
It depends on the particular relationship, but infidelity can—and often is—forgiven
Marriage is not always easy, so success requires both spouses to be serious about making it last.
But studies show that 75% of divorced individuals cite a lack of commitment as the reason for their divorce. This factor is cited as a cause of divorce even more often than infidelity.
Career trial attorney and behavioral analyst Dr. Wendy L. Patrick says many partners choose to forgive infidelity, and it often benefits the forgiver much more than the unfaithful party.
Image credits: Leeloo The First/Pexels (not the actual photo)
"In many cases, especially when a couple decides to stay together, the unfaithful partner expresses deep remorse and vows never to let it happen again," she writes.
"Yet even absent appropriate repentance, an aggrieved party does not automatically have to adopt a punishing 'forgive but never forget' mindset, because forgiving benefits the forgiver."
That's because the act requires you to put away bitterness and thoughts of revenge, which, in turn, prompts the restoration of positive emotions.
As the man's story went viral, people weighed in with opinions and advice
Shortly after, he posted an update on his predicament
Image credits: Ron Lach/Pexels (not the actual photo)
The man said he was willing to leave his wife's affair in the past and focus on building a family
Image credits: leszekglasner/Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwra_wifeaffur
Some people seem to have no problem voicing their opinions about who should—or should not—be involved with who
"Many people—as many as 56%, according to some studies—have interfered in someone else’s relationship with the intent of breaking up the couple," says social psychologist Dr. Brian Collisson.
This number might seem astronomical at first, but Collisson points out that while relationships are personal and intimate, not a single one of them is an island.
Image credits: SHVETS production/Pexels (not the actual photo)
"Couples are embedded within social networks of friends and family who may, at times, say things or act in ways that might affect whether a relationship lasts, or even starts in the first place," he explains.
We can't know for sure why Danielle chose this route. However, Collisson has researched relationships that were disapproved of by the couple's family and friends and found that highly narcissistic people were most likely to interfere in other relationships.
Another group that thought they knew better were sadistic people. Whether Danielle belongs to either group, we can only guess.
Hopefully, our Redditor and his wife have managed to work things out and use this experience to grow together rather than apart, especially now that they are also parents.
Ultimately, people had mixed reactions to how everything turned out in this case
