“I Can Nap Whenever I Want”: A Woman Wonders If She Is In The Wrong For Constantly Napping After Work

Some days, we come home from work or studying and our deepest, most intense desire is to literally collapse into bed and sleep. And the cool thing about being an adult is that you can just do that. But sometimes the responsibilities and pressures of life all intervene to ruin some hard-earned sleep.
A woman wanted to know if she was really in the wrong for constantly napping after work. Despite doing her share of the chores, and never sleeping more than two or three times a week, her husband seemed to believe that she absolutely needed to be doing something else during this time.

Fundamentally, there is nothing wrong with what OP is doing. First and foremost, she is an adult, who has completed the duties she is responsible for. Despite her own original title in the post, she doesn’t even sleep every day, nor “constantly” and seems to be awake whenever the husband is home, so he can’t even complain about them not spending time together. It’s worth reiterating that she is a teacher, which also means she is on her feet for a significant amount of time, so a desire to nap after standing and socializing all day seems quite understandable. In contrast, her husband's desire to control what she does in her free time is suspect, particularly when he thinks it should be used productively. Personally, after doing a day's work and then some chores, I would be disinclined to keep “working” on myself.

Not only that, naps aren’t just a waste of time, they have real, measurable restorative effects. One study found that just 60 to 90 minutes of napping were more effective than caffeine at maintaining a person's memory and cognitive abilities. Teaching is a job that, obviously, requires a lot of mental fortitude, and memory, so OP’s habit might actually be important for her mental and physical health in the long run. Regular naps are also associated with improvements in learning, which would be pretty important for any of the self-improvement her husband seems to believe that she needs. In some cases, napping actually helps a person sleep better at night, which is pretty vital for general health and one’s ability to work.

Of course, the real issue is that her husband wants her to do something “productive,” despite her own wishes. Setting aside this being a pretty controlling request, OP notes that this feels a lot like toxic productivity. Yes, a new skill, language, or hobby is always good, but a person can simply be too busy. This isn’t just called “toxic” productivity for fun, it can be literally bad for your physical and mental health. There is only so much a person can learn in a day, once you go over that limit, you are just wasting time. Even worse, this sort of overworking can and will lead to burnout, which can disrupt a career and lead to depression. These are not worthwhile risks for a person in a stable job, with a prosperous family and who isn’t actually negatively affecting their own life by not “being productive.” So just let the woman nap.