While getting married is certainly one of the most joyous and exciting things that can happen in a person’s life, it is also one of those things that requires a lot of planning and even more so talking.
Through talks, you set ground rules and boundaries for your relationship: how things will be done and handled in your family and household. And this includes everything from values and beliefs to more practical things like living space boundaries and finances. Focus is on the latter for this story.
One Reddit user shared a story of how she walked out of paying for her husband’s meal and he was hella upset when there was an explicit agreement that each would keep their finances separate, asking the internet if she was wrong to do so.
More Info: Reddit
Splitting the bill at a restaurant doesn't have to be awkward if you set ground rules, but even that may cause problems like it did for this Reddit user
Image credits: Dagny Mol
Reddit user u/420BAGIRL went to the r/AmITheA-hole community with a question: AITA for refusing to pay for my husband's meal at the restaurant?
Context time. The two—a secretary and a police officer—have been married for 4 months. At this point, they have agreed that they will pay for everything equally, but otherwise have their own salaries and spend them however they want.
All of this is in light of the fact that the husband is “bad with money”, meaning that he doesn’t plan his finances and lives in the moment when it comes to spending it. The couple had a talk about a possible joint account, but it seemed like a bad idea to the hubby.
This wife turned to the AITA community for perspective in figuring out if she was wrong to not pay for her husband's meal
Image credits: u/420BAGIRL
So, one evening, the two go out for dinner—the husband orders a feast compared to the average eater—and now comes the time for the check. Considering their agreement of keeping everything apart from some necessities separate, the wife asks for two separate bills. The husband is surprised.
You see, he had already spent his money before coming to the restaurant and hence had nothing to pay with. After presumptuously asking her if she was going to pay for him given the circumstances, he got upset as she declined, saying it was his decision that each of them pay for everything individually—that is what separate finances means. And then she walked out on him, leaving him stranded with his half of the bill.
Image credits: u/420BAGIRL
His buddy ended up coming over and paying, confronting the wife, saying she shouldn’t have been mean to him and should’ve paid for his half (a bigger half, mind you) of the meal, demanding she apologize.
For the most part, people online said that the wife is not wrong here—an agreement is an agreement and it should be respected. Moreover, they argued that the husband was financially abusive and this type of behavior cannot be fed by throwing money at it. Lastly, a lot pointed out that their relationship doesn’t sound healthy and might end in divorce.
While most considered the wife in the clear, some called both sides bad guys for several reasons
However, there were also those who pulled the ESH card—everyone sucks here—meaning that even though the husband was wrong to assume he’d be paid for and threw all of his money away beforehand, the wife didn’t act all that wifey by leaving her husband stranded like that. Also, some said that she should have known better before marrying the guy—finances should be talked about before marriage.
Regardless of opinions, the post received nearly 10,000 upvotes and a handful of Reddit awards. This is besides making headlines on some media websites.
You can check out the post and people’s responses in full here, but before you dash, let us know your thoughts on this situation in the comment section below!