No matter how much we love our significant other, there are times when we get frustrated with them because of the things they didn’t do properly. But how would you feel if the love of your life constantly reminded you of how close you were to doing something the way it was supposed to be done, making you assume that you didn’t do a good job? Reddit user @u/Chemical_Eagle1007 decided to share the situation he found himself in and ask others online for their opinions after having a disagreement with his wife.
The 33-year-old man started his story by sharing that he’s married to a 27-year-old woman who is known for her controlling behavior and wanting things to be done a certain way. While the man revealed that he sometimes found it annoying, he added that it didn’t have much impact on their relationship, at least until very recently.
More Info: Reddit
Even the greatest relationships sometimes have to go through tough times
Image credits: Seth Werkheiser (not the actual photo)
The author of the post shared that his wife has a certain habit when she sees that something isn’t done to her standards: she likes to say to her husband that he was “so close” to getting everything done right, implying that the way he did something wasn’t good enough. The man was straightforward about this and told the woman that he doesn’t appreciate being criticized that way. However, the wife assured him that this is how she compliments him and that she doesn’t have anything bad in mind.
Reddit user decided to share how his wife got mad at him after he said the same words she likes to use when he does something not up to her standards
Image credits: Chemical_Eagle1007
OP continued his story by sharing that his wife, who works in a field that doesn’t usually have a lot of job openings, found a place that seemed to be a good fit for her, so she was going through the whole hiring process that took a few months before she found out that she wasn’t selected. The woman, of course, was very upset with the news and came to her husband crying. While trying to comfort his wife, the man who had heard her say the phrase “you were so close” many times said the same thing to her.
Even after the husband told his wife not to use the "so close" phrase, she didn't stop, assuring him that it's the way she compliments him
Image credits: Chemical_Eagle1007
The man even gave some examples from their everyday life that illustrate how the wife would use the phrase
Image credits: Chemical_Eagle1007
This is when the wife got suspicious and asked her husband what he meant by that. The man once again said that she was almost there but something was “off”, so she didn’t get the job, implying that she was still great, having in mind that she was one of the final two to get hired. However, the woman didn’t like what she heard from her husband, so she decided to go to her friend’s place and only later wrote a message to her husband saying that he was being a jerk for what he said to her.
The man shared that his wife had been trying to get her dream job for a few months now
Image credits: Chemical_Eagle1007
After the woman found out about not getting the spot, her husband comforted her by stating that she was "so close," getting her extremely mad
Image credits: Chemical_Eagle1007
Later OP shared that in no way did he want to diminish his wife and the words that came out of his mouth were said only because of how often she would say it, so he assumed that there were no negative connotations attached to the phrase. But after seeing that his significant other reacted the way that she did, he then decided to ask people online what they think about this situation. A lot of users found the man not in the wrong, but they were also quick to notice that his wife doesn't respect him and that in fact she used these words to insult him. What do you think about this situation? Don’t forget to leave your thoughts in the comments down below.
The wife's reaction made the man question whether he really did something wrong by using her own words in this situation
Image credits: Chemical_Eagle1007
While some might see this situation as an example of miscommunication, the fact that these incidents happen because of one person wanting to be more in control pose a question: how do you deal with such a person, especially if you’re in a relationship? According to Psychology Today, the need to control things and expect others to do everything "right" is related to having anxiety. Control works as a coping mechanism, and sometimes such people don’t quite understand that their behavior is sometimes unacceptable.
Image credits: Andrey (not the actual photo)
How can you make things better when living with a controlling person? First, it’s important to remember that the control comes from feeling anxiety, so having this in mind and talking about it with the person helps both to see the real picture. Second, don’t forget to set your own boundaries on things that your partner perhaps insists on doing but you feel that for you, it’s just too much. In case you have plans, try to give them a heads up about it, so they have time to adjust. And lastly, if you see that the relationship is getting worse, don’t be afraid to look for some counselling or help from specialists.
Users online didn't think that the man was in the wrong, however, some were quick to notice that the way his wife treats him is not right
Image credits: Chemical_Eagle1007
Dealing with relationship or dating drama like this? Visit our Family Dynamics Hub for expert-backed guides on toxic roles, boundaries, and rebuilding trust.