Soap operas are called that because the dramatic stories which started to be broadcasted in the 1930s on the radio were often sponsored by manufacturers of soap and detergents. Now the term is associated with TV series characterized by sentimentality and melodrama.
While soap operas are fictional creations, one such real-life drama was told by Reddit user Away_Background_2590. And if we were confused about soap operas being called that before googling it, this one has a pretty obvious explanation.
Man doesn't want to live in the soap opera his wife is creating for him and is at a loss what to do as his every solution has failed
Image credits: Sarah Chai (not the actual photo)
The author of the story is annoyed that his wife doesn't refill his soap dispenser, but only because she doesn't allow him to do it himself
Image credits: Away_Background_2590
Image credits: Ron Lach (not the actual photo)
He tried using the other bathroom, buying soap bars and keeping refills in the bathroom but his wife would scold him for it
Image credits: Away_Background_2590
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
She was also unhappy when he bought new dispensers and threw them away because she needed to dig through the trash to retrieve them
Image credits: Away_Background_2590
Image credits: Mich Graphics (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Away_Background_2590
At this point the man has tried everything and he just wants soap in his dispenser without making his wife mad
The Original Poster (OP) is really not that bothered with his wife having her own specific way of doing things around the house, but what really bothers him is that she never fills up the liquid soap dispenser when it runs out.
It’s not because he is too lazy or she thinks he’s incapable of doing it the right way. He has actually tried to solve the problem, but his wife would come up with a new obstacle.
First he tried going to the bathroom that is further from the back door when there was no soap left, but was scolded by his wife for bringing his dirt all across the house.
Then he thought he would keep soap bars in that bathroom as they last longer, but his wife threw them away because she considered them less sanitary.
The next solution he thought of was to keep replacement dispensers in the bathroom, but was again reprimanded by his wife for wasting money by buying new dispensers when the ones they have are refillable and because she had to dig through the garbage to take them out as the husband would throw them out when he finished up the soap.
But the biggest obstacle of all preventing the husband from filling the dispensers with soap was that the wife kept the refills somewhere hidden. He didn’t know where they were because she would change their place and when he tried looking for it, he would get yelled at for disorganizing her storeroom. Also, she didn’t want to leave one in the bathroom so the OP could refill the dispenser as soon as it was empty. Even when he bought his own gallon of liquid soap, his wife came to the bathroom, took it and it has never been seen since.
So the husband is annoyed that he can’t wash up in the bathroom near the back door because he doesn’t have soap and he can’t go take the one from the other bathroom without being nagged about the dirt he is bringing into the house.
On the other hand, the wife is irritated that she has to go through the bathroom’s trash to take out the dispensers. So the last adjustment the husband came up with was to notify the wife that his soap is running low so she could have time to refill it by drawing a line on the dispenser which lets her know that he has a week’s worth of soap left.
While the soap situation probably causes quite a bit of tension between the husband and the wife, because it’s always the small things that drive you insane, people in the comments were quite amused and were referring to the story as a soap opera because it was so dramatic and absurd and it involved literal soap.
Many of them were ready to eat the OP alive for being sexist and complaining about his wife not filling his soap dispenser on time, but when they analyzed the whole story, they realized that he has really tried, but his wife just doesn’t let him.
Image credits: Markus Spiske (not the actual photo)
After laughing a bit, the readers got more serious and suggested therapy because they didn’t think it was normal behavior. Some of them considered it abuse or at least controlling behavior. It’s really hard to tell if the wife’s behavior is problematic because it is one of the few things that really bugs the OP, so it might not be that serious.
Having fights as a couple is normal, according to licensed marriage and family therapist Kiaundra Jackson, and it doesn’t seem that the husband and wife have different outlooks on life, different value sets or other major differences, but just can’t fill up the soap dispenser.
However, even if bickering over housework doesn’t seem that serious, it can become serious enough to consider a visit to a therapist. But according to Dr. Sharone Weltfreid, it is usually the women who complain about not getting enough help.
And Dr. Heather Z. Lyons says that fights about housework are just on the surface level and “Through housework we communicate levels of importance in the relationship, we show our partners that we recognize them, uphold or challenge gender roles and connect.”
It all comes down to the not-so-good old communication issues. Relationship coach Steven Dziedzic stresses that you not only have to watch what you say but also notice your tone and volume, which all can contribute to a negative reaction from a partner.
Oprah Daily suggests couples listen empathetically and try to avoid interrupting each other, as well as talking more than your partner. It is also not advised to tell your partner what to do, but rather ask gentle questions.
Another productive thing to do is to dedicate time for constructive conversations and plan it ahead so you can organize your thoughts and bothers.
NBC News adds that you have to not only listen to your partner but also understand their feelings and validate them. If you don’t understand, ask them to explain it further or ask them if they understood the point you were trying to make.
They also mention creating a timetable for chores and it seems that the OP is on the right track because he ended his post mentioning that he did mark the soap dispenser to know that there is about a week of soap left and that his wife should refill it.
Do you think the husband was unreasonable with his solutions? Do you think his situation is just another example of miscommunication or is there something more serious behind the wife’s behavior? How would you approach the issue? Let us know in the comments.
People in the comments loved the absurdity of this soap opera but at the same time thought that there was something wrong with the wife
