There’s absolutely nothing better than seeing cheaters get what’s coming to them. People who have affairs probably expect to get away with it, so when all their lies are revealed, it almost feels karmic. That’s exactly what happened to this cheating wife who tried to pin the blame on her husband.
The heartbroken man had already been through so much after learning about his wife’s affair and getting to know her baby wasn’t his. He finally snapped and told the world the full story.
More info: Reddit
Husband felt his dream of a happy family was shattered after his wife had affairs with two men and got pregnant, then tried to hide the truth from him
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The poster and his wife already had 4 kids, and he did not want anymore, so he was planning to get a vasectomy
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His wife got pregnant anyway, against his will, which really made him lose trust in her
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He got even more suspicious when she mentioned that she was fired, and didn't even try to get her job back
Image credits: freepik / freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster did some digging and found out his wife had been having affairs with two different men
Image credits: freepik / freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster then decided to take a paternity test to see if the 5th baby was his, and it came back negative, but luckily, the other DNA tests showed that their 4 kids were biologically his
Image credits: freepik / freepik (not the actual photo)
The husband decided to divorce his wife and sue for custody of their 4 children, so his wife began spreading lies about him
Image credits: freepik / freepik (not the actual photo)
The man eventually took to social media to tell the truth about his wife’s actions because people were thinking he was the bad guy due to her lies
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His wife's actions ruined the happy life that he thought he had
The 49-year-old poster had four kids with his 45-year-old wife. They had even planned not to have any more kids, but suddenly, right after he got a vasectomy, she shared that she was pregnant. At first, the man thought that she had sabotaged their birth control methods to baby-trap him. Later on, he found out that she was pregnant with an affair baby.
You might be shocked to learn that nearly 2-3% of children are born out of infidelity. In many cases, the man raising the child might not even suspect the kid isn’t biologically his. It’s only when their suspicions are raised that they might get a DNA test done and find out the truth.
The OP also learned the truth by taking a paternity test. That’s why he refused to be at the hospital when she was giving birth. When the baby was stillborn, he did not want to comfort her either. Unfortunately, the manipulative wife used these instances to spread misinformation about him and poison people’s minds.
But what the wife didn’t understand is that infidelity can be devastating for the victim. The person might grieve their relationship and struggle to deal with the information. They might want to have nothing to do with their cheating spouse or even try to work through the affair. Everyone deals with these situations differently.
To understand the husband’s feelings better, Bored Panda contacted Dr. Elizabeth Carr, the founder and CEO of Kentlands Psychotherapy and also a senior clinician. We asked her how victims of infidelity usually deal with it. She said, “the most common thing that people do to deal with the pain and heartbreak of infidelity is to confide in a trusted confidante, whether that be a best friend, a relative, or a therapist.”
“A less healthy thing that people also sometimes do is to lean on their children emotionally by sharing too much about what’s going on in the relationship and the details of their partner’s infidelity. This is damaging for children and should not happen. Betrayed partners need to find adult confidence to tap for this sort of support.”
The wife also didn’t want her husband to tell their children about her infidelity. But, since he was hurt, he believed that the kids needed to know the truth before his spouse tried to twist the narrative. When he told them, his daughter stopped speaking to her mom, and their second kid decided to live with him after the divorce.
Just as Dr. Elizabeth stated, other counselors agree that it’s important for children not to be made into their parent’s confidante when it comes to affairs. This can affect the kids emotionally and even color how they view relationships in the future. Research has found that 75% of children feel betrayed by their cheating parents, and 70% say that it impacts how much they trust people.
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The OP also revealed everything about his wife’s affair online, which affected her life significantly. Dr. Elizabeth states that “it’s completely understandable that betrayed partners want to take revenge on an unfaithful partner for having an affair. The problem is, for most of us, we betray our own sense of who we are if we do so. In contrast, if you think of the expression, ‘Living well is the best revenge,’ you see how taking the high road and moving on will likely be a better choice for most people regarding their own healing and preservation of their self-image.”
“Another reason to consider foregoing revenge is that if you have children in common, revenge on their other parent could come back to haunt you. The last thing you want to do if you’re feeling hurt, vulnerable, and betrayed is to alienate your children from you. Or to feel that they’ve taken the side of your unfaithful partner. This is also true regarding your shared friends’ or family members’ perception of your behavior in the wake of this betrayal. By avoiding exacting revenge, you can maintain your moral high ground,” she added.
In some cases where one partner has an affair, the victim might try and work things out. That’s why the OP’s wife’s lawyer was pushing for family counseling. She probably wanted to reconcile and even said her actions were a mistake. But the husband could not bring himself to forgive her and was only willing to do “civil co-parenting.”
In cases where people want to repair their relationship and stay together, Dr. Elizabeth recommends “seeing a couple’s therapist for that individual work. You’ll likely want a different couple’s therapist for that healing work with your partner, but a couple’s therapist for individual affair discovery support is much less likely to demonize your spouse during individual therapy inadvertently.”
When the unfaithful partner comes forward with the truth of their affairs and actually makes an effort to change, that can save their marriage. The problem is the poster’s wife only wanted to place the blame on him and not face the consequences of her actions. If she wasn’t up for taking responsibility, he shouldn’t be forced to work on their marriage either.
Do you think the poster did the right thing by sharing his wife’s dirty laundry online? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
Netizens sided with the man and agreed that his wife should be vilified because she betrayed him in a big way
