Standing in front of the altar, we make a vow to God, the people around us or ourselves that we will love and support the person standing next to us until the end of our lives. In joy and sorrow, in sickness and in health... and then the wedding ends and everyday life begins...
And then, after a while, we gradually discover that the person we're living with actually has a bunch of flaws, from little funny quirks to complete red flags. And depending on how crucial these red flags are, sometimes we make such a difficult decision to part ways. For example, as did the heroine of today's story.
The author of the video had been married for two decades and had two children with her husband, but finally decided to part ways with him
Image credits: @thesoontobeexwife
"Good morning TikTok, I thought I'd share a small snippet of why I'm getting a divorce"
"So for the men out there who watch this, which frankly I kind of hope there aren't any, you have an idea maybe what not to do. Yesterday, I go to work all day, go pick up one kid from school, go grocery shopping, go pick up the other kid from school, come home. Kids need a snack–make the snack. Kids want to play outside – we play outside.
Then he gets home from his run, which he chose to go on after a volunteer program he is doing after school. I told him not to do this program. I told him it was a bad choice and he was not going to be happy doing it. He did it. Whatever. So he gets home, he eats the entire carton of blueberries I just purchased for the children's lunch and asks me what's for dinner. I tell him I don't know because the kids had a late snack and they're not hungry yet."
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
"He says ‘great,’ as sarcastically as possible"
"Mind you, the last time he cooked – he rarely cooks and if he does cook I have to tell him how and what – the last time he cooked he got so angry he started stomping around like a toddler. Then when he realized he’d forgotten an ingredient he was about to punch a hole in the wall. Our previous homes were all littered with holes in the walls that he had punched, including one extremely large hole that was left from him throwing a milk carton, a two gallon milk carton, through the wall.
Anyway, finally one kid is hungry. So I offered to make pancakes because they're quick and easy and it’s late. He sees the pancake batter and sees that there's wheat flour in it and starts complaining. Says he won't eat them. Now I am a grown adult making pancakes for my children who I am trying to feed nutritionally balanced meals. So yes, there's wheat flour in the pancake mix."
Image credits: Kiro Wang (not the actual photo)
"Then he starts complaining and saying he's not going to do dishes because he's not gonna eat the pancakes"
"So he doesn't have to do dishes if he doesn't eat. Friends, the only thing this man does around this house is dishes occasionally. If I cook, he usually does dishes. I cook most nights. But here's the thing. That's all he does. I do everything else. Everything. Everything."
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
"I cook, I clean the bathrooms, I make the lunches, I make the breakfasts, I mow the lawn, I do kids' bedtime. I literally do everything and he does dishes once a day, maybe."
"Anyway, it turns into this fun thing where he's arguing with me and he tells my children that I am the villain of the story, which is like, awesome that you're involving the children in our divorce. Good job. Good job, buddy."
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual photo)
"This morning, he calls me up and says that it was out of control last night and that we should do this event for the kids separately this weekend"
"And I'm like, fine. He's like, ‘okay, what time is it?’ ‘Well, you can look it up. I'm not sure.’ To which there's a long sarcastic pause, like I can hear the intake of sarcastic breath. And then he just says, ‘f**k off’ and hangs up. So that is my life. And this is actually better than before I decided to divorce him. He treats me better now."
The woman simply got sick and tired of constant depreciation of everything she did around the house, and the husband's infantile behavior as well
The author of the video called her TikTok account @thesoontobeexwife, and tried to give answers why she decided to divorce after two decades of marriage and having two children. One of the videos where the woman listed the main grounds for her decision went absolutely viral, with over 2M views and 244.3K likes. So why do women leave?
The Original Poster (OP) immediately admits that she does literally everything around the house - cooking, cleaning, washing, taking care of the children - and her husband occasionally only helps her with the dishes. Moreover, when at one time the spouse somehow tried to cook something himself, it ended in a total failure and almost throwing a fit, during which an adult man literally threw a whole milk carton through the wall.
And so it happened from year to year - until one fine day the decision to file for divorce was finally ripe. On that day, the OP, as usual, was very busy around the house, drove and picked up the children from school - and the husband had just returned from his run which he chose to go on after his volunteering program, which he went to, by the way, contrary to the advice and begging of his wife. And urgently demanded that she feed him.
This was followed by a whole series of reproaches and depreciating remarks from the hubby about how the original poster runs the house - and her patience snapped completely. But more than that, after the woman informed the guy of her willingness to file for divorce, he couldn't find anything better to do than to start badmouthing her in front of all his relatives and friends, as well as trying to get children involved. But the OP was already adamant in this decision, and thinks she did the right thing.
"When you or your partner is unhappy about the allocation of household chores, the stress level in your home can increase tremendously. Researchers have found that the unequal distribution of housework is one of the top stressors in many relationships," writes Sheri Stritof, a marriage consultant, in the column on VeryWellMind. "Individual beliefs about how work should be divided can influence who performs certain household tasks. Evidence suggests that couples who believe the work should be evenly divided are happier than those who don't."
Moreover, in this situation, the husband deliberately and constantly depreciated everything that his wife did, putting only his own occupations and hobbies at the forefront. Of course, this looks completely inappropriate, and the only question left is how the OP tolerated an attitude like this for so long. In any case, as many people in the comments believe, now it will definitely become easier and better for the author of the video to live. "As someone who's been divorced 7 years to a useless man. You don't even know the peace and happiness you are going to experience," one of the commenters wrote.
It's probably best to react early in situations like this, when things aren't completely out of control. For example, as was the case with the heroine of this post of ours, who was so indignant at her entire family's neglect of household chores that one day she defiantly refused to do anything at all until she was helped. And what do you, our dear readers, think about this particular case?
Most of the people in the comments just praised the woman for making such a decision, stating that she's going to experience peace and happiness now
