Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies

Since childfree life has become a much-discussed topic these days, Bored Panda reached out to three amazing childfree women, Colombia-based Isabel, Kristen from the US, and LeNora from Canada, who run the project Childfree Girls, a podcast and web series for the childfree community.

When asked if more people are opting for a childfree life, the Childfree Girls said that even though global fertility rates have been falling in the past few years, it would be hard to state that more and more people are opting for a childfree life.

“We believe that what has been happening is that more people are openly talking about their choice to not become parents, so it might give the impression that more people are choosing to not have kids. The childfree choice is not a new choice, but it is certainly a lot easier to express it nowadays than it was a few decades ago, let alone a few centuries ago,” they explained.

There are many reasons behind choosing a childfree life, and they’re all specific to each person, the authors of Childfree Girls told us. They continued: “These include lack of a support system, lack of a permanent romantic partner, environmental concerns, medical issues, lack of financial stability, exposure to danger or risk (in war zones, for example), personal beliefs, among many others.” Moreover, “Some people just don’t want to be parents, period.” Essentially, “All reasons are valid reasons,” they explained.

There are many misconceptions about people who choose not to have kids in this society. So when asked how childfree people deal with societal pressure, Childfree Girls said that people cope in different ways for any number of reasons, and childfree folk are not the exception. “Unfortunately, we live in a pronatalist world, so many of us do feel pressured to have kids a lot of the time.”

“There isn’t one specific way to deal with societal pressure, and some people have a better grasp on this than others. In general terms, we believe that when childfree people are totally accepting of their own choice and have a healthy amount of self-love and self-confidence, it comes naturally to not be too adversely affected by the criticism (blatant or subtle) that might come from family, friends, co-workers, news articles, TV shows, movies, magazines, etc.”

According to Childfree Girls, some people might decide not to engage at all and let it slide. “Others see these moments as opportunities to have a conversation with others about how parenthood is a choice” they said and added that “The important thing to remember is that we do not owe an explanation, nor do we need to justify our choice to anyone.”

It's also important to note that childfree people get called “selfish” a lot, and this is a huge misconception. “We believe that understanding that we are not selfish, but self-aware, is the first step to deal with societal pressure,” the authors of Childfree Girls said. “There is nothing inherently selfish about choosing not to reproduce. There is, however, something incredibly selfish about demanding others reproduce in order to satisfy one's own ideas or beliefs about who should be creating more people.”

At this point, the Childfree Girls believe that there will be more people who choose not to have children. “We’re already seeing this choice being more prevalent in people from Gen Z, who are, in general, a lot more vocal about the things that they want, what they don’t want, and what they believe in.”

“Younger generations display a growing concern for environmental, social, economic, and political issues, some of which could be alleviated or resolved by a decrease in human population. For example, in the past few years, several reports from international organizations about the reduction of the carbon footprint have been published.”

“One of these studies’ main conclusion was that the greatest impact in fighting climate change is to have one fewer child, which in some countries translates to having none (Environmental Research Letters, 2017).”

However, more than believing that childfree life is the future, Childfree Girls hope that in the future, people take more time to really reflect on the choice to become a parent. It’s important to realize that “bringing a child into this world is a huge responsibility and it takes a big commitment to raise happy and loved human beings. To introduce and rear a new human being because of pressure, and not out of a genuine, conscious desire, is tragic for everyone involved,” they said.

Bored Panda also spoke with Zoë Noble, the creator of We Are Childfree, which is a storytelling platform celebrating childfree women and gender-diverse people. It helps to explore the experiences of childfree people and dispel the myths the world holds about them.

“Personally, I never felt the need to have children, but if I was born earlier, or elsewhere, I might not have had a choice in the matter,” Zoë said and added that: “Whatever people decide to do, it's important that they make a conscious choice that's right for them and the planet.”

When asked if she thinks that more and more people are choosing not to have children, Zoë said that it may be true, “but the main cause of falling birth rates are parents choosing to have fewer children.” Moreover, “Both choices are being influenced by financial insecurity, climate anxiety, greater access to contraception and, for women, to other opportunities in their life,” she added.

And when it comes to dealing with societal pressure that so many childfree people unfortunately still experience, Zoë said finding like-minded people who support your decision is the way to cope with it.

“If you move to a big, progressive city like I did, you can find others who are living, or at least accepting of, alternative lifestyles—there are plenty of childfree people in Berlin! For other people who don't have supportive folk around them, there are more and more online communities—like mine!”

Moreover, “When you can openly and honestly discuss your feelings and decisions, in a judgement-free context, it's much easier to stand firm in your choices and love authentically,” she said.