Shelby was candid about what the inspiration behind her viral TikTok videos was. "I have been single for a while, and always on and off the apps. I used to share funny/ridiculous profiles I would find with my friends, and I thought it would be funny to share them on TikTok, too because I knew I wasn’t the only one having a hard time on the apps!" she said.
The content creator believes her videos resonate with a lot of people because many of them have been in similar situations. "A lot of the time when you’re single, friends and family are asking how dating is going and 'have you tried dating apps' when in reality, if they knew what was really on the apps, they would know dating is not easy!" she pointed out that the online dating landscape isn't as ideal as some would think.
In Shelby's opinion, the essence of online dating is about showing others respect. Failing to see your potential matches as human beings can come across as self-centered and even arrogant. "I think the line between a good and a bad dating profile is the way they speak about others. Bad profiles have no respect for other people and are usually only focused on their wants like they’re the King and we are there to please them." The video creator told Bored Panda that the men in these bad profiles have a 'what can you do for me' mentality when it comes to, well, pretty much everything.
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Meanwhile, good profiles "seem genuine and want a connection with another human being, not just someone to use."
Shelby said that she doesn't think of herself as a content creator. However, she's still happy that she managed to touch upon "the same headache" and shared experiences that many other single people face. "The comments, messages, and stories from others keep me inspired to keep making the videos. I feel like as humans we’re wired for connection with others, and TikTok is a great platform to do that."
She added that her videos are meant to be funny and her goal isn't to actively hurt anyone. "I just hope everyone knows I make these for humor purposes only and my intent is never to hurt anyone, which is why I don’t show photos either. I never want these to be malicious, I just want them to be funny!"
Meanwhile, Dan, the founder of The Modern Man, told Bored Panda about the most important things for men when it comes to making good online dating profiles. At the core of this lie confidence, communicating one's social approval, and not trying too hard.
"The most important thing for men are: photos that show him looking confident on his own, photos that show him look confident, happy and included around other people, not trying too hard with his description," Dan told Bored Panda.
"When writing, think to yourself, 'What would I write if I was honestly confident about myself and knew that the women reading it would like me?' Start from there, rather than thinking, 'How can I get women to like me based on what I write?'" he noted the different approaches to online dating.
According to dating expert Dan, men become unattractive to women when they sense that they're trying too hard to be attractive. He added that men showing their dating profiles to their friends can help iron out some mistakes, however, this won't be helpful in the majority of cases. "Most guys don’t really know how to attract women and only rely on getting lucky. So, it can often be a case of the blind leading the blind," he cautioned.
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Shelby describes herself as a single and anxious millennial. She has over 97.7k followers on TikTok and her videos have gotten 1.9 million likes combined. If you’ve ever come across some utterly bizarre dating profiles, you can share them with Shelby via her Instagram account. You never know, the profile you sent over could end up in one of her newest funny videos!
Bored Panda has analyzed online dating quite a bit over the years. Recently, I spoke about the phenomenon and how it’s changed the landscape of traditional dating with relationship and dating expert Dan from The Modern Man in more detail. He told Bored Panda earlier that online and traditional dating are fundamentally different worlds.
According to dating expert Dan, it’s important to be playful and attention-grabbing on online dating apps like Tinder. However, if you overdo this, you run the risk of coming across as “try-hard or desperate” which means you get rejected just like in real-life interactions.
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When it comes to online dating, figuring out whether somebody is telling you the truth and is being genuine can be a real challenge. Dan said that it’s best to move away from just texting on the dating app to try and check whether the person is who they say they are.
“Get to a phone call, or video call as quickly as possible, so you can actually get a feel for each other and see if you click. At the very least, send voice texts back and forth so you can determine each other’s level of interest, as well as personality type and temperament," he said.
Relying just on texting to communicate can potentially lead to someone feeling hurt because they misinterpreted their potential match’s level of interest. "A man might send a woman a text and she then replies with a laughing emoji, with tears of laughter. He thinks he's doing well, but in reality, she is rolling her eyes and thinking that his joke was lame. He might then continue using that type of humor and causing a disconnect between himself and her," the expert warned.
"Online dating is more superficial and based on appearances compared to real-world interactions, which is more about how both people feel when interacting with each other in person," dating expert Dan told Bored Panda.
Dan also shared his thoughts about how online dating has changed the “positions of power” that both men and women had prior to this. He said that traditional dating favors men while women appear to have the upper hand when it comes to online dating.
"A woman who would normally accept an average, confident, good guy in real life, will often have very high standards and only accept very good looking men on Tinder, or online dating. This results in millions of average-looking men wasting their time trying to match up with women who just aren't going to give them a chance. It also results in some women being able to date very good-looking men who normally wouldn't be interested," the dating expert mused.
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