#2 My Son Is Cancer-Free!!!
#3 In Memory Of Our Little Boy Hugh
Hugh was the best boy - he was an easy baby and toddler that slept well (11 hours a night no problem), ate well and always had a smile on his face. He was our miracle baby. My wife and I tried since 2021 to get pregnant with multiple miscarriages before turning to IVF. However, the IVF retrievals did not go well - we did not get that many eggs from each retrieval (and even fewer that turned into embryos). Hugh was our 3rd retrieval where we only got one egg, but our doctor suggested lets just do a fresh transfer (no freezing, no testing) and see what happens. And from this one in a small chance, we became pregnant with Hugh and were the happiest / luckiest parents in the world.
My wife and I both work, and life was busy with a toddler between work during the week and keeping the little one entertained on the weekends. We would read Hugh so many books (in the morning, before bed after bath). He and I would go to the grocery store on weekends where I would buy him a balloon. Hugh and I would typically do bath time, and he loved getting his nose "booped" by his tub toys. You would say "boop" and he would bring his face forward and want you to touch his nose with his rubber tiger. We were fortunate to be able to take Hugh to a lot of places in his 18-months - France, Maine, Florida and Colorado. Hugh had a passport and global entry. I would trade anything in the world to have more time with Hugh - to give him a hug, hear his giggle, feel his hands on my back when playing hide-and-seek.
We had a full-time nanny, Joanna, who could come to the house Monday - Friday - they were best friends (her words) and thick as thieves. They would go on walks in the neighborhood, go to the public library for story time, read books, see his friends, go to the play gym and go to playgrounds / parks with friends. Joanna did an amazing job exposing Hugh activities (art, paint, sand, etc.), teaching him in a patient manner and instilling a sense of confidence. We are incredibly lucky to have her.
Since Hugh's passing, it's been a roller coaster of grief - intense sadness (loss of Hugh and also loss of Hugh's future), guilt (not being able to protect your child), anger at the universe, bitterness at why our child and numbness. The pain is immense - physically, psychologically and emotionally. Waking up every day is a nightmare because the only respite is during sleep but you wake up to this new reality. The part that makes me most upset / sad is that Hugh didn't deserve this - if the universe was angry, why not punish me? Hugh was an innocent 18-month old toddler that we described as "joy personified."
Two things keep us going. First, we want to keep Hugh's memory alive by sharing his memory with as many people as possible. We talk about him openly with everyone, and asked that everyone continue to share their memories of Hugh with us. He will always be our oldest child and firstborn, and when people ask how many kids we have, we'll always include him in the count. To anyone who is interested seeing more photos of Hugh and reading about him, we created a website: www.hughnie.com
Second, we are expecting a daughter in Oct 2025. She was conceived naturally and we are very grateful to have her in our lives. While she will open some wounds as we transition back into taking care of a baby, she will also be incredibly healing for us. Our baby girl will know who her older brother is. While we have not settled on a name yet, we know at least some part of her name will incorporate Hugh's middle name, Maxwell, in honor of her older brother.
We are in contact with the Sudden Unexplained Death in Children (SUDC) collaborative at NYU and are volunteering to help with their research and mission. We will do whatever is possible in our power by participating in their research and providing information so hopefully they are one step closer to finding out what causes SUDC. Our dream is that one day no parent has to go through what we are currently going through.
My wife and I are also going through grief counseling (both together and individually). We are also checking in regularly on Joanna, inviting her over for meals and to hang out, and making sure she goes to grief counseling as well. Joanna spent as much waking time with Hugh as we did over the past year, and I am worried she doesn't get the same support as we do for being parents. We also kept Joanna until our new baby is born so she didn't have to worry about job security for something that was not her fault.
I would give anything to have our "Huggie bear" back, including my life. For now, we will have to settle on this not being goodbye forever, just goodbye for now. We buried Hugh in a cemetery where we also bought the plot next to him so that my wife and I will be buried next to him eventually.
I hope no one here ever has to go through the experience of childloss. It's not something a dad should ever have to go through. Thank you all for reading my long missive.
According to ACT For Youth, 70% of kids growing up in the United States live with both of their parents. But 23% live with their mother only, meaning that nearly a quarter of kids in the U.S. grow up without a father. Now, plenty of kids still have great childhoods without having a dad around, as we all know moms are truly amazing as well. But the ideal situation is having two parents around, as there’s something special that each one can bring to the table.
Pediatric Associates of Franklin notes on their site that dads can play a key role in the emotional development of their children. Kids look to both mom and dad to find a sense of security, as well as physical and emotional support. And children who grow up in homes with affectionate and supportive fathers are set up for healthy social and congitive development. Plus, having a supportive dad instills a sense of overall well-being and confidence in kids.
#6 Probably The Funniest Email I’ve Ever Received From My Son’s Teacher
We did briefly review “choice words”.
It’s likely that a child’s relationship with their father will also set the bar for what kind of treatment they expect from other people in their lives. For example, if your dad has always told you how much he loves you and has always treated you with respect, you’re not going to accept anything less from friends and future romantic partners.
In fact, young girls, in particular, tend to rely on their dads for emotional support. He is laying the groundwork for what his daughter will seek out in future relationships with men. If she’s only ever seen her dad be calm, level-headed and loving with a great sense of humor, she shouldn’t have any trouble finding a romantic partner who treats her with the exact same level of respect.
#8 I Officially Became A Dad On Wednesday. My Little Boy Is Already Smiling! So Glad To Be A Part Of The Club, Dads
#9 Our Daily Daddy-Daughter Walk. Her New Friends Are A Quiet Bunch
But of course, fathers are just important in their sons’ lives. Dads shape what it means to be a man for their sons, which will impact them for the rest of their lives. If they’re taught that real men cry and that it’s healthy and strong to show emotions, boys will grow up learning how to express their emotions without feeling any shame. Meanwhile, dads can also demonstrate to their sons that cooking and cleaning are jobs for everyone, and that women deserve the utmost respect. If Dad isn’t around to teach their sons these lessons, they might seek out information from questionable sources online.
#10 Solo Camping Trip With My 3-Year-Old. Hard? Yep. Worth It? 100%
This weekend we camped together for the first time—just the two of us in the Pine Creek Gorge in PA. I was nervous about how it would go, but it turned out to be one of the most rewarding things I’ve done as a dad.
Highlights:
He was scared the first night, worried I’d leave or animals would get in. By night two, he was asleep by 9 after making spooky stories and playing in the creek.
He hiked, biked, helped with meals, and asked big questions about the stars.
I learned to let go of perfect plans and just be present.
Couple notes for the Dads here—if you’re on the fence about taking your kids on a trip like this, do it. Take the leap, and get out with them early and often. It can be intimidating, and solo trips are never easy—but what it’s done for both of us has been invaluable.
You don’t have to give up your passions when you become a parent. They may not look the same as they did before, and that’s okay. Slower mornings, shorter hikes, more snacks, more stops—but also more laughter, more wonder, and honestly, more joy. You get to experience the things you love again—this time through their eyes.
I’m incredibly lucky to be able to do these things with my son, and I encourage every dad to find their own version of adventure—big or small—and make those memories now. The logistics can be hard, the planning is nonstop, and the patience gets tested. But the reward? It's massive. It’s knowing you’re giving them the space to grow, to get curious, to gain confidence—and in the process, you’ll find a different kind of fulfillment you didn’t know you needed.
Lead by example. They’re watching!
#12 After Four Years Of Trying, Two Miscarriages, And Making The Decision To Give It Our Best Shot Via Ivf, This Morning I Finally Got To Meet My Son
Having a great dad around comes along with more benefits than most people even realize. For example, Parent 4 Success reports that kids who grow up with an involved father tend to do even better in school than those who don’t. Dads can have a significant impact on their kids’ education, whether it’s just providing support and believing in them or actively helping their little ones with homework. In fact, this even translates to higher test scores, as well as greater problem solving and social skills.
#13 Finally Shaved The Head, Before Mother Nature Did It For Me! My 4 Year Old Autistic Son Stopped In His Tracks, Stared At Me And Then Whispered "...egg..."
#15 My Twin Brothers Reaction To Meeting My Son
Just thought I'd share the photos as they are just too funny
Meanwhile, having a great dad around can help kids and teens make even better decisions. All For Kids reports that kids who grow up with their father being highly involved in their childhood are less likely to act out in school or engage in risky behaviors as a teen. Having an engaged dad also makes boys less likely to display behavioral problems or delinquency in school. On the other hand, kids without dads are, unfortunately, more likely to smoke, drink and use substances in their youth, as well as into adulthood.
#16 How Do You Do, Fellow Dads
So what are some of the top things dads can do to prepare their children for future success? CNBC recommends prioritizing self-confidence over self-esteem. “Real self-confidence is an outcome of doing well, facing obstacles, creating solutions and snapping back on your own,” educational psychologist Michele Borba explains.
It’s also important for dads to teach their children self control. Research has found that this determines future success, and it can be extremely hard to learn later down the line.
#19 So, I'm Being Sued
