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Robert Puff, Ph.D., the host and producer of the Happiness Podcast, believes that kindness is the key to happiness.
“Our response to the world is largely dictated by this internal compass. We see an innocent act and respond with kindness, love, and compassion. We witness a cruel one and feel dislike, animosity, or even hatred,” he writes.
“We are constantly judging the actions of others through this lens. But the most important judgment, the one that runs on a continuous loop throughout our lives, is the one we turn upon ourselves.”
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According to Puff, if we cherish innocence and kindness in the world, it follows that we must value them within ourselves. When we align with these values, our actions create a beautiful, self-reinforcing cycle of happiness. “Think of a puppy joyfully licking a stranger’s face,” he says. “It’s a spontaneous act of love that brings immediate joy to both. We may not go around licking strangers, but we can embody that same innocent intent.”
“I was recently in an airport and saw an elderly man from another country struggling to drag a large, heavy suitcase down a long flight of stairs. He was exhausted. Without a second thought, I grabbed his bag along with mine and carried it to the bottom for him,” Puff recalls.
“He didn’t speak a word of English, but his radiant smile said everything. He was so deeply thankful. For the rest of our journey through the airport, he would catch my eye and give me the biggest, warmest grin. The truth is, my heart glowed. Helping someone in a moment of struggle filled me with a profound sense of well-being. This is the magic of kindness.”
But it’s important to remember that the opposite is also true. Puff believes that when we act against our innate sense of goodness, especially towards the innocent, the self-loathing that follows can be astronomical, creating a heavy, lasting wound on our souls. To illustrate this, he gave another personal example.
“One of the worst things I have ever done involved two cats I adored in college,” Puff says. “Due to work and travel, I could no longer care for them, and my parents, who were in transition, couldn’t either. After failing to find them a new home, my only remaining option felt like the local pound, which I believed was a death sentence. In a moment of desperation, I drove out to the Iowa countryside.”
Eventually, he found a farm and, since he was too afraid of rejection to knock on the door, he simply left the cats by the side of the road.
“As I drove away, one of them ran into the middle of the dirt road and just looked at me. That image haunted me for years. It was a long time before I could even think about it without crying. The possibility that I had condemned these innocent creatures to a terrible fate was an unbearable weight. While I have since worked through it, forgiven myself, and done much to make amends in my life, that memory serves as a stark reminder: hurting the innocent hurts us.”
Life constantly presents us with choices. “We can choose the path of kindness or the path of cruelty,” Puff says. “This doesn't mean we become doormats. We can and should protect ourselves and set boundaries when others mean us harm. But we can do so with calmness, not rage. We can defend ourselves without becoming cruel in return.”
He believes the true path to happiness lies in cultivating an innocent heart—a heart that, like a child, looks for wonder and beauty in the world. A heart that you can see in most of these pictures.
“When we practice small acts of kindness, we begin to change how we see ourselves. We look in the mirror and see a good person, a kind person. And because we are wired to love and protect innocence, we begin to love and protect the burgeoning innocence within our hearts.”
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