#1 My Son’s Boyfriend Gave Me A Father’s Day Card Because I’ve Made My Home Safe For Them Both
#2 Mom Says She Knew I Was Gay Before I Did. I Guffawed. She Showed Me This
"We humans need a secure attachment to [our] caregivers and family members in order to survive and thrive," Lisa S. Larsen, PsyD, says. "Being securely attached means that we know that our caregivers are there for us against all odds, including societal rejection and oppression. When we don't have that, it is harder to handle stress and navigate the struggles that we all face."
"Unfortunately, members of the LGBTQ+ community also face minority stress, in addition to the usual challenges of daily living. When our own families reject us, ridicule us, or disrespect us, we may not know where to turn. It is a lonely experience to believe that we don't belong anywhere and that even our own family would turn [their] back[s] on us."
"LGBTQ+ youth are at greater risk for substance use, depression, anxiety, and suicide," the therapist notes. "They are very vulnerable to the pressures of political and social stigmatization and persecution. Many of my clients talk about their fear and disbelief at how risky it can be to be ‘out’ as LGBTQ+. If they also face discrimination from their own families, it creates a sense of hopelessness and helplessness."
Larsen says it's important for families to understand what it means to be LGBTQ+, accept their queer family members, and love them unconditionally. Just as they would a cisgender or heterosexual child. "Unfortunately, some ultra-religious families cannot accept their child's gender identification or sexual orientation," she says. "I have even seen young people get kicked out of their families' homes with nowhere to go."
#8 We Then Had A Frank And Open Discussion About Both Of Our Struggles And She Asked Me For Any Books She Could Read To Help Her Understand Transgender Stuff More In Order To Help Me Out
We put a great deal of significance on the concept of family in our society. But there's also a saying "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." Sometimes, the bonds we choose might be stronger than the ones we're born into. Larsen says that while the concept of a chosen family is not specific to the LGBTQ+ community, it does apply.
#10 For All The Folks Asking: He Does Not Speak Chinese, And When I Told My Grandma She Said "Ah I Guess You'll Have To Continue Being The Family Translator Then"
"People who have been abused or neglected by their families of origin might also choose not to associate with their blood relatives or caregivers from childhood anymore. Each person gets to decide for themselves what makes sense for their mental health. If you are repeatedly dead-named or insulted because of your gender identification or sexual orientation, that can have damaging effects long-term."
#14 I Mean, Who Can Be Mad At An Honest Grandpa Who’s Going To Do His Darndest They Way He Knows How
"It makes sense to find people with whom you connect emotionally and to accept you the way you are, without [them] having to change you for their own comfort. The important thing is to find people who accept you the way you are and show you unconditional love; whether it's a blood relative [or] someone you have befriended or adopted along the way is unimportant," Larsen emphasizes.
#16 Also, I Cannot State Enough How Sick Of A Response That Was In 2006 Of All Times, In Alabama Of All Places
#17 Has Been Pointed Out To Me That I Should've Like Asked For Some Congratulatory Cash But Oh Well
However, this still doesn't diminish the fact that being rejected by family is one of the toughest things a person can go through. "It is tempting to assume that no one else will love you if your parents or other family members don't, but that is simply not true," Larsen explains. "When I think of the courage it takes to come out to family members, it's amazing that people do it. However, sometimes, family members don't know what to do with the new information, and so [they] react fearfully."
