30 ‘White Knight’ Behaviors Men Still Do Without Realizing How Toxic They Really Are

I’m a widow. Men have thrown themselves at me like they were going to be the one to f**k the loneliness away. Married. Dating. Single. Old. Young. Every walk of life. My boss too. When they asked, “Do you miss sex?” I always wanted to answer, “Nope. I saved my husband’s penis. It sits on my nightstand in a glass box with a label on it that reads, ‘Break glass in case of emergency.’”

When people try to put words in my mouth like "what I think she meant was". No, no, no, I f*****g said what I said, all questions can be directed to me.

Offering to help you and not backing off regardless of what you say. My cousin is very beautiful and often has guys offering help left and right in an effort to get in her good graces - except they keep offering when she says no. And keep offering. And keep pushing. It's basically a thinly veiled "let me get close to you", and they won't take no for an answer. It's extremely disrespectful

Any time a man is speaking for or “defending” a woman and he gets extremely possessive. And you can tell that he’s more offended because she’s HIS, and it’s therefore disrespectful to HIM, than he is concerned about her feelings. “That’s MY f*****g WIFE,” “don’t talk about MY wife that way,” “keep my wife’s name out your f*****g mouth!” (This is basically the quintessential example of this behavior in pop culture tbh).

I think a lot of women are actually attracted to this on the surface, but it bugs me deeply now that I’ve realized how it really serves the man.

In contrast, I had a really s****y conversation with my dad recently where it got heated and he was questioning my professional decisions. My dad’s a contrarian and loves to lecture, so if I say “I’m doing this,” his first reaction is “no no, that’s wrong” — even if he would say it’s right under other circumstances. Drives me batty. My husband sat back and let me stand my ground until I was getting basically bulldozed. He finally “stepped in,” because my dad tends to respond better to men (eye roll)…. but what he said was “Hey. She’s doing an amazing job, and her performance isn’t up for debate. You may not agree, but it isn’t your career or your life. We’re both extremely happy with how she handled the situation.” It just… felt different. I didn’t need him to go all “That’s MY wife, back off” macho macho mode. I felt like a teammate, not a possession.

Having the mentality of "Men, its our job to protect women."

Why? Who are you "protecting" us from... oh.. other men? Maybe place your focus on calling out those men when you see toxic/dangerous behaviors and normalize holding your own kind accountable. Stop making it about "protecting women."

Taking tools away from me while I'm using them because they are "thinking of my safety". Like, no, it's not safe to try and take my ax out of my hands mid-swing.

When a guy is explaining something, and I say “I know.” Could be directions, telling me about a show, a fact, current event, whatever. But if I said that I know already, them saying “Ok, but…” and continuing as if I had said nothing.

Men I don't know calling me "honey," "sweetheart," or any variation of that. Happens less now that I'm older, thank god.

Men who do the bare minimum and act like they should be praised for it like it’s so annoying. like congrats for respecting my boundaries i guess??

When they try to mansplain me how to do my job.

Speaking on my behalf because I didn't answer right away. Like I don't care if you've known me my whole life you don't under any circumstances speak for me. I have a voice.

Idk if this counts but my mom once interviewed a guy who was applying to work for her company and he said something like “I just want to say, I have no issue whatsoever working for a woman.”

I'm 5'2" and have never been over 127lbs. I like physically demanding jobs because it makes things go by faster and helps my depression. I constantly get asked if I need help with something heavy. Once had a dude watch me lift a 70lb box onto a conveyor belt and the clap when I got it up there. I gave him a dirty look and he stopped coming near me, so I count that as a win.

Kissing my hand when first meeting them. Please no.

When someone interrupts/stops telling a story to apologise for the profanities being used in front of me.

People, especially strangers telling me how young I look or how skinny I am as if it’s a compliment.

When I’m outside a hotel loading my stuff up and they walk up and start grabbing my stuff to “help,” me. Nah, that’s how s**t gets stolen and guys then they you owe them something. Or what happened when I was 12 I was out for a walk and guy in a utility van offered me a ride because it was too cold I declined multiple times and he kept saying he was trying to be nice 🙄like why would I wanna get in your dirty as van with you being a stranger

Random adult men who just happen to be in the same public space that believe they are “being nice” and have a right to get to know me. Being cordial is fine, but pushing hard for information is creepy. Especially when they start topics like, “are you still in school or are you working toward a degree?” Dude, I’m almost 30 but thanks for admitting you were attempting to target someone you thought was significantly younger and naive… it’s not a compliment when they don’t know me!!!

If I'm holding a door already for everyone to get in and a man has to make it awkward by trying to be gentlemanly and hold the door for me.

You're causing a traffic jam then making it awkward holding the door also so now I gotta do a weird shimmy under your arm or go around you somehow to go inside. I hate it.

And for what? Because you think it's emasculating for a woman being nice holding a door?

You're not actually being nice to me either, you're taking away a choice I made to do an action and saying no, no, you can't do that woman.

Men who refuse to swear or use curse words around women because they think we're too fragile and easily offended to handle it.