The internet has long been crucifying “nice guys,” and for good reason. These are the kind of men who feel entitled to attention, affection, and intimacy from women just for being “nice” to them. But they only behave that way to get something in return, and if a woman isn’t interested, they’ll quickly snap and revert back to treating women without any respect. Unfortunately, it’s not hard to find these men online, especially in communities dedicated to criticizing women.
In the posts featured on this list, women are being called out for having unrealistic standards and expectations or for being hypocrites. Perhaps they want their partner to pay all of the bills and fund their lifestyle without lifting a finger themselves. Or maybe they’re interested in finding a man who will raise their kids for them, even though he’s not their actual father. Sadly, entitled people can be found everywhere, including in the dating world.
Entitlement is an issue in all aspects of life, including the dating scene, and it can make things much more difficult than they need to be for everyone. There is a fine line between refusing to settle and looking for genuine love and having far too many boxes to check off before you’ll even give someone a chance.
People of all genders can cause problems by being too picky, and in this day and age, when we have access to millions of people on dating apps and social media, it’s harder than ever to feel satisfied.
Almaz Ohene at Mashable wrote a piece titled “Dating Apps Have Created a Culture of Entitlement," where they explained that many men become frustrated and give up on a woman if she doesn’t respond immediately.
Meanwhile, sometimes men who women unmatch with on apps will find them on other social media sites and harass them with messages because they felt entitled to attention or a date. This kind of behavior is justified with excuses such as “I needed to shoot my shot.”
Even if they don’t manage to secure a date, some people on dating apps still feel entitled to send hateful or bigoted messages to people that they’ve matched with. In 2021, Bumble had to take action by banning messages containing fatphobia or body shaming.
Tinder has also implemented a feature that asks users if they’re sure they want to send a message when their AI bot picks up on potentially offensive or inflammatory language. People tend to forget when they’re behind a screen that they shouldn’t be able to spew cruel words without repercussions.
Dating and relationship coach Suzie A. also warns that a person’s sense of entitlement might be keeping them single. She notes that this is different from having standards, which everyone should have. Signs that you may have a sense of entitlement are having unrealistic expectations, turning into a sore loser when you don’t get your way, refusing to respect the boundaries of others if you feel they get in your way, having narcissistic tendencies, or refusing to give anyone a chance who you feel is beneath you.
Thankfully, a sense of entitlement can be broken when it comes to dating. But it will require some self-awareness and reflection. Suzie A. recommends writing out a list of everything you want in a partner and breaking them down into three columns: must-haves, nice-to-haves, and dream on. This will give you a better understanding of what you should really be prioritizing when looking for a potential partner. Is it actually important for him to be over six feet tall? Or should you be more concerned about how respectful he is towards you?
