People Are Sharing What Happened To The Smartest Kids In Their Class

To learn more about this topic, we got in touch with Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Vicki Botnick. She was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and discuss how being deemed "gifted" can impact a person.

"Being identified as gifted can give a child the advantages of pride, extra resources, and a chance to be accurately challenged academically. However, the label can also be a burden," the expert shared.

"Kids who are singled out as exceptional often put a lot of pressure on themselves to maintain the sense of being special. In addition, parents can add to the pressure, either by overtly having high expectations, or by more subtly indicating that they value the label highly," Vicki explained. "Suddenly there’s something to live up to."

Vicki also says parents sometimes inadvertently project their own insecurities and dreams onto their kids. "Many communities put a lot of emphasis on childhood accomplishments, and parents might get drawn into comparisons and one-upmanship for their own self-image. This adds to the weight of expectations on kids who are on the highest achievement track."

"Giftedness can also come with some inner challenges. A very bright and sensitive child, the type often referred to as 'an old soul,' might be trying to manage increased awareness and intellect, while still being developmentally a little kid, often one with social challenges," the therapist shared. "They might be thinking about big topics (religion, death, morality) before they are really capable of making sense of these issues, which can lead to anxiety and rumination."

"To be thought of as exceptional and stand out fairly easily can set a child up for disappointment as they age," Vicki warns. "Many children at the top of their class move on to more competitive environments where, eventually, every person there is a former gifted child. Sometimes, it’s a tough transition from being a top performer to being one of the crowd, and can bring on feelings of imposter syndrome, lower self-esteem, or increased pressure to excel."

The therapist noted that one common effect of giftedness comes from the message from the world that you’re valued if things come easy to you. "Kids learn at an young age (in California, second graders are tested for giftedness) that they are considered special for things that come naturally to them," she explained. "Later, when the work gets harder and they need to put more effort in, they sometimes interpret this as meaning they are 'dumber.'"

"Some avoid the subjects that they struggle with, because having to work hard at something doesn’t fit into their positive self-definition," Vicki shared. "They worry that failing at something, which everyone does at first with a difficult task, might expose them as not as bright."

So how can parents and teachers support these children without putting too much pressure on them?

"Instead of focusing on measures of achievement, parents and teachers can encourage bright kids by letting them follow their curiosity at their own pace," Vicki told Bored Panda. "By using praise that focuses on effort rather than accomplishment ('You worked so hard on this' rather than 'Wow you did that so quickly'), they promote values that will serve the child throughout their development, rather than reinforcing a false sense of virtuosity."

"Schools that offer gifted kids extra resources and a chance to work in a less restrictive way can hone not only achievement-oriented results like good grades, but the more impactful characteristics like open mindedness and creativity," Vicki added. "In general we’d like to have high expectations of our children to work hard, gain confidence and leadership abilities, and be excited about learning, rather than focusing on outer trappings of success like high GPAs, trophies, college acceptances and resume building."