FEB 28, 2017

What Did You Build Last Summer?

So what did you do last summer?

My crazy family and I decided to buy a property in Portugal and see what we could do with it.

The property was first built in 1937 and was home to several generations of goats, spiders, probably a few snakes and when we arrived on day 1, home to several dozen wasp nests. I hate Wasps, I can deal with anything, I used to throw Rugby teams out of a pub without flinching, but put one of those long legged stripy things in front of me and I'm gone.

So after fighting them off, or rather sending my wife in to get them out, we started work on making it habitable for the human species rather than the 4 legged or no legged creatures.

First up was removing all the timber, my new name for old timber in Portugal is Vampire wood, as when you hit it, it basically turns to dust. A little like Toby Carvery Yorkshire puddings.

Once that was out, the Electricians came in, speaking not a word of Portuguese, this proved to be quite fun. I'm ok at Bulgarian, German and English so my sentences were generated from my foreign language experiences. Not great when some of those words translate into something rather crude in Portugal.

Once the Sparkies were done we got the plumbing in, that's when they decided it would be good to dig a hole in the garden that would basically fit the entire house in, for the fossa or soak away as we call them. Not one but two of them for good measure.

Eventually they left us and we started on rebuilding the entire house. When Portuguese Electricians and Plumbers come in, they drill massive holes in your walls, this being a Stone house meant, MASSIVE stones being cut through and left for us to fill. Me being very tight, decided that we wouldn't need a cement mixer so my wife mixed all of the render by hand in a wheel barrow that had a flat Tyre.

The interior was a design nightmare, I love rustic building with a modern twist, if such a thing exists, so I wanted to make it look as traditional as possible or, as I like to say, I didn't want it to look like an EXPAT house. You know, the nice smooth render, any features ripped out and replaced with with some dodgy piece of IKEA furniture. I wanted the place to have some sole, some character. I have been in so many renovated homes that have the aesthetic appeal of a Netto supermarket and no way was I doing that.

So up went the oak beams from a local yard, sanded oiled and varnished to support the sleeping loft. A quite beautiful Slate stone floor was put down that flows to the exterior, some funky lighting that we picked up from a charity event, some French Oak for the Bathroom Glass bowl supported with some chains. Same went for the TV stand, I didn't want what a lot of people have and use the TV as a focal point in a room, so on an Oak shelf above the entrance door it went. You know it's there but at the same time, you don't.

I made the doors and again, I wanted them to be different and not Aluminium that everyone tries to sell you here. The entrance door is fully insulated, oiled and varnished and the Bathroom door is the style.

In the bathroom it was again a challenge. I like to wave my arms about in the shower, shake my head and generally have a bit of a dance. The number of shower trays I have tripped over or fallen off is unreal, so I did away with a tray and continued the slate theme by using it instead of tiles making it a wetroom. Now I can bust a move in there without having to call an Ambulance.

Believe it or not, Portugal gets cold in the winter, boy does it get cold, so heating was always a concern and because it is small, space was a premium. A modern style Rayburn was put in. Now we can heat the house and cook at the same time. During the Summer we'll be outside cooking so it won't be a problem.

The outside Garden is quite big, over 1000sq ft so plenty of room for a Pool and is surrounded by a dwarf natural stone wall. Up went a utility room and a gas house.

It all sounds much easier than it all was, there were days when we cried, days where we had enough, days where it rained and then, there were days were we laughed and danced in the Sun (and shower) whilst entertaining guests over a box or 2 of wine.

Having been doing this for 4 years and this being our 4th property, we wouldn't, couldn't, the thought of it makes me shiver, ever, go back to my depressing 9 to 5 in the UK.

More info: Facebook