35 Stories About Customers Who Fell From The Confused Tree And Hit Every Branch On Their Way Down

Found the product I needed online. Drove to the store. Spent 20minutes failing to find said product on the aisle it was supposed to be on. Showed the picture to multiple staff, none of whom recognised it. Finally went to the customer services desk and after 10 minutes of waiting in line got told the website I was looking at was one of their competitors.

A man come into my tattoo shop once and asked for a massage with a happy ending. Was like “err this is a tattoo studio not a massage palour” and he just stood there like “yeah? I know” as if tattooists are synonymous with sexual masseuse.

I worked in a local cafe/newsstand/convenience store type spot. We also had a ticketmaster outlet for a bit. Our small town had an annual concert that usually ran two or three nights. It was really popular with the local folks, so it brought in a lot of foot traffic with people buying tickets (my boss was honestly a small-business mastermind). That was the extent of our involvement — we sold and printed gate passes.

On night one of the event, I was closing the store as usual, at 10pm. An irate woman called wanting to “file a noise complaint” about the concert. I was like, ma’am, you must have the wrong number, this is *local cafe*. She INSISTED that she was filing “an official noise complaint” and demanded to speak to the owner RIGHT NOW — 10pm on a Friday? Yeah, he’s not here. He also isn’t the police, and doesn’t deal with noise complaints. Also, it’s only 10pm, and this concert has been widely advertised for months.

She then went on a wild rant that we needed to do…something?…about the noise, since we sold tickets. She wouldn’t let me off the call, and was going berserk. I told her I was going to disconnect, since we had nothing to do with the event or the noise. She called back multiple times, and finally I just let the phone ring…was still ringing when we locked up. MA’AM ARE YOU OK?

I work for a CPA office that is in an office park with a couple doctors offices. One day a guy came in only speaking Spanish, so I grabbed my Spanish speaking colleague to translate. He talked to the guy in the lobby for a few minutes, then the guy left and my coworker came back and asked if that was a joke or we put someone up to that. Apparently the guy explained that his testicles were extremely swollen and painful, he was looking for one of the doctors offices and just walked into the first building in the complex. …I’m, sir, we do taxes here, not testicles.

When I worked at subway, there was a dude who asked how I hadn’t been murdered as a baby. The conversation went as followed:

 

Him: “What ethnicity are you? You speak English so well”

 

Me: “I’m Indian but I was born in Chicago before moving to California!”

 

Him: “Chicago? You should’ve been murdered as a baby, I’m surprised you’re alive.”

 

Me: “…uh. Yeah.” Him: “my buddy is on [illegal substances] and homeless”

 

I literally didn’t know what to say.

Literally working at a Wendy's. Guy threatens to jump over the counter and strangle me because I accidentally entered an extra kids meal on his order.

I made the mistake because while he was ordering, he was simultaneously talking on his phone *and* poorly wrangling like 4 or 5 small children, leading him to repeat himself several times. I didn't catch that one of them was a repeat.

So my family own’s an old fashioned Chinese restaurant. One of those places that have like 100 menu items with massive portions because it was from way back when.

So I’m taking an order and this woman gets her kids together. The son whose a teenager I think asks “do you guys have Thai tea?” I said no. The little girl whispers something to her mom and mom asks “you have sticky rice?” No. Some girl whose younger than the teenager says “oh, I don’t see pho on here.”

At this point I’m screaming in the back of my head; “This restaurant has been open since before my uncle was born. At that time you Americans thought that fried rice was exotic. Nobody was worried about ox tail soup, chilled tea with cream, and rice steamed in a bamboo. If you would like, you can drive 5 minutes down the street to the Lao restaurant that serves that. I know the owner and will give him your order.”

So my aunt notices me from the register and in our language asks me what’s taking so long to get their order. I told her that they were asking for. She tells me “send them down the street where they serve that stuff we don’t do that here.”

I got their order, and told me cousin about it. She says “well that’s technically Asian food. It’s not stupid to ask.” Don’t walk into a Chinese restaurant and ask for ‘Thai Tea’ or Vietnam’s most famous noodle soup dish.

Not one specific moment, since it happened all the time when I worked at Ulta.

"I'm looking for this lipstick" *shows me Sephora brand lipstick*

"We don't sell that, but I can show you something similar!"

"No, I want this specific lip stick, don't you sell it?! Well where can I buy it?!"

"At Sephora m'am"

“Can you take me to pick up my son from soccer practice?”

Lady- I’m a psychologist. I’m not a taxi service 😆

I work as a cashier at a home goods store. I’m very friendly and honestly treasure my customer interactions.

I was doing my usual patter - “Hi there, how’re you doing, did you find everything all right?” - and this lady tells me that it’s the first time she’s been out of the house in a while. I thank her for choosing [store] and go to move on with the transaction. She raises her shirt, shows me a HUGE angry red incision on her stomach and starts telling me about her recent hysterectomy. The stitches hadn’t even been removed yet. I sort of nod and smile and try to pivot to her total so I can move on with the MASSIVE line that’s building, and she won’t stop talking.

I had to call for a back-up cashier, while getting a very detailed description of surgery, uterine cancer, and the recovery process. She didn’t drop her shirt the entire time.

I worked at a cable company for a couple years in call center customer service. We handled accounts all over the usa.

 

A man calls in and gives me his account number. I immediately notice that there are too few numbers , but try anyway. No account.

 

"What the f**k do you mean you can't find my account ? What are you an idiot" Dude starts getting real angry and toxic , repeats the same 8 digit account number back to me slowly and has me repeat it back to him.

 

I told him our account numbers were ten digits long , and he was only giving me eight.

 

He asks for a manager and starts yelling about how Verizon was the biggest s**thole of a company and he was going to have me fired.

 

I told him he had called the wrong company. He called their competitor.

 

"Well....s**t , whats Verizons number?"

I used to work at Pier 1 Imports. A woman came in asking where our food was, and I told her we didn’t sell any food except for decorative food. She said, “You must be new. Where’s your manager?”

My manager told her the same thing and she left yelling that “no one wants to work anymore!”

Then a complaint came in about us from corporate, that we refused to show her the snacks and we were discriminating against her because she said she was heavier.

I think she thought we were the same as Cost Plus World Market…

I own a Drywall company and our shop is in a giant storage unit complex for big rvs (like $500k-$1m rvs) so the bays are gigantic, a lot of contractors have their shops there, the front building is shared between myself and a power washing company (we both have signage up clearly stating drywall business / power washing business)
One day my crew was at the shop loading up equipment and some older guy came up and wanted to rent a storage unit. My guys gave him the info for the owners (which is on a big sign by the road that says rv storage units with all the info)
He just ignored them, pulled out his check book and said” who do I make this check out to? I want to rent unit #12” again my guys pointed to our business sign clearly stating drywall business. He then got aggravated and asked when we were open so he could get a unit. Finally my crew leader told him the boss would be back in a couple hours so he would leave them alone.
Guy never came back.

When I worked at McDonald's someone came in and demanded steak. It was a McDonald's. He demanded to see a manager who helpfully informed him this was a McDonald's.

"I can get steak at Taco Bell!" he claimed. Then go to Taco Bell??

I worked in an ice cream truck, a tweaker came up to the back (the rear doors were open), and tried to buy weed from me while I was serving customers. I had to explain to him I was not selling weed.

Later on he ambushed my truck when I was leaving the park, stood in front, hit the hood a couple times with a piece of metal, and then when I was driving off, threw said metal and shattered one of the side windows on the truck.