Going to the doctor can be frightening, intimidating and sometimes even embarrassing. You’re already ill or injured, and now you have to describe in great detail the symptoms you've been experiencing or how you ended up breaking a bone while filming a TikTok. So some of us decide that it’s best to simply conceal information from our doctors. In fact, one survey found that 23% of patients have lied during a medical visit.
But there’s really no point in trying to hide the truth, because doctors always know. Medical professionals on Reddit have been recalling the strangest tales that patients have told them, so we’ve gathered the most amusing ones below. Keep reading to find a conversation with Kevin Pho, MD, and remember to always be honest with yourself and your doctor!
#1
Had a lady come to the ER about 3 times for dizziness and poor balance. Alcohol level about .230 or so each time but she refused to admit she had been drinking. Her husband went to bat for her, how she’d been sober for nine months. Neither would admit that she relapsed despite ample opportunity to come clean and not lose face. They stuck to the story that her body must be endogenously producing ethanol, because they read about it online. They demanded she be admitted for more tests.
I told them how great an idea that was. I told them how as an inpatient unable to get outside food and drink, we could keep her overnight and simply recheck her alcohol level in the morning. If her body was producing its own alcohol, of course it would go up. If she had been drinking surreptitiously and not have access to booze in the hospital, of course it would go down. Her husband thought that was a brilliant idea and I watched her face completely sink. Checkmate liar.
I told them how great an idea that was. I told them how as an inpatient unable to get outside food and drink, we could keep her overnight and simply recheck her alcohol level in the morning. If her body was producing its own alcohol, of course it would go up. If she had been drinking surreptitiously and not have access to booze in the hospital, of course it would go down. Her husband thought that was a brilliant idea and I watched her face completely sink. Checkmate liar.
179points
#2
Am doctor. But this is a Med school story.
During ER rotation i guy came in with a banana up his butt. It went in too far and he needed medical attention.
Swore up and down that he tripped, fell on the stairs and accidentally sat on the banana.
After we fished the banana out my attending at the time came over said to me “just before he accidentally fell onto the banana, a condom magically got in the way”.
During ER rotation i guy came in with a banana up his butt. It went in too far and he needed medical attention.
Swore up and down that he tripped, fell on the stairs and accidentally sat on the banana.
After we fished the banana out my attending at the time came over said to me “just before he accidentally fell onto the banana, a condom magically got in the way”.
160points
#3
Performed an urgent biopsy on a woman who came to the ER for breast pain. She had an obvious cancer that was what we call a fungating mass which is basically an ulcerating tumor literally growing through the skin. It was large, occupying most of her breast.
Despite this mass (and pungent odor that it produced) she was adamant that there wasn’t anything concerning and she had only come to the ER due to pain. She ‘knew’ this couldn’t be cancer because she had been told so by a holistic practitioner. She almost refused to be have a biopsy performed.
Denial. It's not just a river in Egypt.
Despite this mass (and pungent odor that it produced) she was adamant that there wasn’t anything concerning and she had only come to the ER due to pain. She ‘knew’ this couldn’t be cancer because she had been told so by a holistic practitioner. She almost refused to be have a biopsy performed.
Denial. It's not just a river in Egypt.
144points
To learn more about the lies that patients tend to tell medical professionals, we got in touch with Kevin Pho, MD, creator of KevinMD and host of The Podcast by KevinMD. Dr. Pho was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and discuss similar experiences that he's had.
"Patients do sometimes hold back or aren’t fully open about certain aspects of their health," he shared. "In my experience, this can happen for a variety of reasons—some people feel embarrassed, worry about judgment, or are concerned about how sharing everything might affect how they're perceived by their doctor."
#4
The number of virgins that I have diagnosed with STIs and/or pregnancy is astounding.
137points
#5
Not a doctor... But my wife is in healthcare. It's weird when trans people won't tell their healthcare providers their actual sex. Like this isn't about pronouns, it's about knowing how to help you and give you the proper and effective doses of d***s. Like come on.
128points
#6
NAD but my dad's friend shot himself through the hand with a stolen gun and panicked so he put a stick in the hole and went to ER. The doctor said it must have been a very fast stick to cauterize the wound on its way in.
125points
As far as why patients withhold information, Dr. Pho says they might be nervous, embarrassed, or might not fully trust the medical system. "Some worry about how we, as doctors, will react to certain disclosures. Others may have concerns about potential consequences, like an official record that could affect their insurance or employment," he added. "These fears can lead them to omit key information, which impacts our ability to provide the best care."
#7
I have a slightly related story, the patient did admit to me but had been lying to other doctors for years.
I was seeing a patient for follow up after a heart attack. This was the patients third heart attack and he had problems from blockages in all his arteries. He had already had a few strokes, stents in his legs, previous bypass from his first heart attack.
I felt a bit bad for the guy, from the medication list he brought in he was on really good medication which should be preventing these things. He had been on them for years and they had been updated and increased over that time. All of which he had records of and could explain. Seemed like a really engaged patient.
Right at the end of the consultation he just out of the blue goes, "I'm going to level with you doc, I don't take any of my pills, I don't think they help, I just tell everyone I take them, I've never taken them". So for years doctors have been increasing his pills and he had never been taking any of them. I just said "How's that working out for you".
I was seeing a patient for follow up after a heart attack. This was the patients third heart attack and he had problems from blockages in all his arteries. He had already had a few strokes, stents in his legs, previous bypass from his first heart attack.
I felt a bit bad for the guy, from the medication list he brought in he was on really good medication which should be preventing these things. He had been on them for years and they had been updated and increased over that time. All of which he had records of and could explain. Seemed like a really engaged patient.
Right at the end of the consultation he just out of the blue goes, "I'm going to level with you doc, I don't take any of my pills, I don't think they help, I just tell everyone I take them, I've never taken them". So for years doctors have been increasing his pills and he had never been taking any of them. I just said "How's that working out for you".
125points
#8
Before 9/11, I rotated through a Navy ID Clinic at a large medical center. A sailor popped HIV+ and told me that he must have contracted it by backing up onto a door knob while naked in the head on ship. Part of the work up was swabbing urethra, a**s, and throat. The sailor tested positive for GC on all three sites.
He denied any human sexual activity in 2/3 of those orifices, leading one to believe he abused that poor door knob in a ferocious manner.
He denied any human sexual activity in 2/3 of those orifices, leading one to believe he abused that poor door knob in a ferocious manner.
114points
#9
I worked for an abortion provider in the late 90s/early 2000s. I heard lots of crazy stories, but my favorite is this girl, maybe around 17, came in for a procedure. She was with her mom, and they both kept insisting to us that she was a virgin, even though the ultrasound let us know, she was about eight weeks pregnant. Finally, the girl says something like “Oh! I think I know what happened. One time when we were making out, he came on my leg. There was a fan in the room and the fan must have just blown it it inside of me!”.
108points
Despite this temptation, it's important to always tell medical professionals the truth. "Honesty is critical in a medical setting because it forms the foundation of effective treatment," Dr. Pho shared. "When patients aren’t upfront, it’s like trying to solve a puzzle without all the pieces—we can miss important diagnoses or misinterpret symptoms."
"For instance, a patient who minimizes their alcohol use might be at risk for certain complications that could otherwise be addressed early. In short, honesty allows us to tailor treatment and avoid unnecessary risks, ultimately protecting the patient’s health," he explained.
#10
Not a doctor, but a nurse. When you come in to the hospital wanting to detox, and I ask you how much you drink, please stop lying to me. Withdrawal from alcohol is NASTY but I can make it a little more bearable. If it’s 2 bottles of vodka a day, TELL ME so I can medicate you accordingly. You’ll thank me later when you aren’t having a seizure.
106points
#11
One of my first on-call shifts as an Anesthesiology resident..a patient came to the OR in the middle of the night for incision and drainage of an abscess in his jaw. The case itself was uneventful but as we’re removing the endotracheal tube, he coughed up a fair amount of blood..not unexpected given the nature of the operation. Some of this blood managed to bypass my facial protective equipment and ended up in my eye (yes, it was disgusting).
In the recovery unit, I asked him all the relevant questions regarding IV d**g use, unprotected sexual activity, and transmissible infections. His response to all of those was, of course, a resounding NO. His bloodwork, however, told a different story when the results came back positive for Hepatitis C.
Suffice it to say, getting “Morgan Lensed” in the emergency department at 4am near the tail end of a 24hr call shift was the closest thing to Chinese waterboarding that I’ve ever had to endure. (For those of you who are wondering, I luckily did not contract Hep C after this incident.).
In the recovery unit, I asked him all the relevant questions regarding IV d**g use, unprotected sexual activity, and transmissible infections. His response to all of those was, of course, a resounding NO. His bloodwork, however, told a different story when the results came back positive for Hepatitis C.
Suffice it to say, getting “Morgan Lensed” in the emergency department at 4am near the tail end of a 24hr call shift was the closest thing to Chinese waterboarding that I’ve ever had to endure. (For those of you who are wondering, I luckily did not contract Hep C after this incident.).
99points
#12
Woman came into the OB ER in labor. We asked her if she has had any prenatal checks and she says she went to all of them. Asked her if she did an ultrasound and she said yes but left the results at home. We proceeded with vaginal delivery since the baby was already crowning (head already at the opening of the vaginal canal) and once the baby was out, we proceeded with caring for the baby and preparing for the placenta to come out. I put my fingers inside and felt… a foot near the opening. Turns out she was having twins, and the 2nd one was breech (feet as the presenting part). Good thing we managed to deliver the 2nd one vaginally and there were no complications, but soon we found out that the mother lied about having any prenatal checks and ultrasound done. She didn’t even know she was having twins.
99points
"As doctors, we’re here to help, not to judge. Establishing open communication is a two-way street," Dr. Pho added. "I encourage patients to see us as partners in their health—being upfront with us is the best way to get care that truly supports them. And we, as physicians, must foster an environment of trust and empathy so patients feel comfortable sharing openly."
#13
I’m a hospital dietitian. One time I had a patient who always has very high blood sugar and needed tons of insulin to make it go down. This was a daily thing and several specialists even came in to consult to try to figure out why this person wasn’t responding to meds! After a few days a nurse caught the patient EATING CANDY from a bag they had stashed somewhere in the room. This m**********r laid in bed for days eating candy and said NOTHING while all of us were trying to control his glucose! 🤫😂.
98points
#14
A person came in with issues with her v*gina; soreness, discomfort and discharge. During examination it turned out there was a small rolled up photograph of Cliff Richard stuck inside. She denied any knowledge of it and acted shocked, and even said “how could I m*sturbate with a photo?” completely unprompted. Kind of a pertinent question really haha. Still not sure of the thought process there.
96points
#15
Nurse here. Had parents bring their 3 year old son to the emergency department for one month of abdominal pain that kept getting worse. I ask all the routine questions for this complaint, lots of questions about his poop....is it bloody? Diarrhea? Mucous? When was his last bowel movement? Any changes in the stool? They deny any other concerning symptoms but abdominal pain.
We do bloodwork, ultrasound, X-ray. Everything comes back completely normal but the kid is intermittently screaming in pain, curled in a ball.
Over the next 5 hours I continue to repeat the same questions, I asked repeatedly if there was anything else going on that they could think of....nope.
The kid just doesn’t seem well but we have no reason to keep him, we decide to watch him a little longer, let him eat. The kid eats a bunch, a PBJ, apple juice, crackers, popsicle, no pain so we decide to send them home.
I bring in the discharge paperwork and I’m about to start going over instructions and they dad goes “You know.....for the past 3 months he’s had A LOT of worms in his poop”
WORMS. F*****g worms. You spent 6+ hours denying worms. I literally just turned around and walked out of the room without saying a word. I was laughing almost to the point of tears. Could not wait to tell my resident. Deworming medications, a s**t load of wasted time, and they were on their way.
We do bloodwork, ultrasound, X-ray. Everything comes back completely normal but the kid is intermittently screaming in pain, curled in a ball.
Over the next 5 hours I continue to repeat the same questions, I asked repeatedly if there was anything else going on that they could think of....nope.
The kid just doesn’t seem well but we have no reason to keep him, we decide to watch him a little longer, let him eat. The kid eats a bunch, a PBJ, apple juice, crackers, popsicle, no pain so we decide to send them home.
I bring in the discharge paperwork and I’m about to start going over instructions and they dad goes “You know.....for the past 3 months he’s had A LOT of worms in his poop”
WORMS. F*****g worms. You spent 6+ hours denying worms. I literally just turned around and walked out of the room without saying a word. I was laughing almost to the point of tears. Could not wait to tell my resident. Deworming medications, a s**t load of wasted time, and they were on their way.
93points
#16
When I was an optician, we had a patient come in that was having trouble with dry eyes. That's okay, it happens. We asked several times if she wore contacts and she swore up and down she didn't (she got contacts from us, which is how we knew), so we went through as normal. Doctor took her back and what do you know, she's wearing contacts. Even after he took them out himself and showed her, she refused to acknowledge those were hers.
As she left she asked for a new contact rx.
As she left she asked for a new contact rx.
86points
#17
That they were never pregnant.
Had a case in residency where a woman came in with her family, swore her water broke at home, and she was going into labor. The nurse couldn't find heart times so low key freaking out, call for a bedside US to confirm an intrauterine demise (still birth) . Well, put the ultrasound probe on and there's no baby. Family all at the bedside asking, what's going on? And this lady still wouldn't say anything. We were all looking at each other in this silent stand off...
We just said, sorry there's no baby. And the family was all sorts of confused, what do you mean no baby? Like the baby is dead? She didn't say anything so we left the room and discharged her. Pretty sure we checked and she had a negative pregnancy test too.
Had a case in residency where a woman came in with her family, swore her water broke at home, and she was going into labor. The nurse couldn't find heart times so low key freaking out, call for a bedside US to confirm an intrauterine demise (still birth) . Well, put the ultrasound probe on and there's no baby. Family all at the bedside asking, what's going on? And this lady still wouldn't say anything. We were all looking at each other in this silent stand off...
We just said, sorry there's no baby. And the family was all sorts of confused, what do you mean no baby? Like the baby is dead? She didn't say anything so we left the room and discharged her. Pretty sure we checked and she had a negative pregnancy test too.
83points
#18
Patient with specific eczema that to us looks clearly fillers related, swore to her life she had never had fillers done... Awkward silence when the pathologist could see the material they use in fillers under the microscope..
82points
#19
My wife does obstetrics. She's had people deny they were sexually active when she can show them an ultrasound of a 15-week foetus.
80points
#20
This one is sad, from my old roommate.
Girl had a very large lump on her breast that she didn't tell the doctors about. She actually went to the hospital for migraines, saying they were getting increasingly bad. When they found the lump, they asked why she didn't say she had that.
She said she knew it was going to k*ll her eventually, but she just wanted to get rid of the migraines because they giving her a lot of pain in her last months.
Girl had a very large lump on her breast that she didn't tell the doctors about. She actually went to the hospital for migraines, saying they were getting increasingly bad. When they found the lump, they asked why she didn't say she had that.
She said she knew it was going to k*ll her eventually, but she just wanted to get rid of the migraines because they giving her a lot of pain in her last months.
79points