36 House Guest Stories That Show Just How Far Some People Will Push Their Host's Patience

This stuff all happened at just one party.

Caught a guest rifling through coats and pocketbooks during a party. Came down the carpeted stairs, got near the bottom, stood there watching for about 10-15 seconds flabbergasted.

Went to the bathroom. A half n***d lady asleep in the bathtub. D**d to the world.

Went into a bedroom, caught a couple of married folks going at it. They weren't married to each other. I just backed out and closed the door. It was very awkward the rest of the night but I didn't say anything. I just did a Seargent Schultz.

When I was 11 I had a friend who played at my house and stole my sisters shoes.

I worked at a bar and had some colleagues come over to find at the end of the night that someone had a s**t and used my shower towel to wipe their a*s..and yes there was toilet paper available.

I crushed on a guy for years! We went to the same gym, our kids were in Kindergarten together, he worked for the city and would often be working in my neighborhood, etc...he was 6'2, drop d**d gorgeous and 1000% my type. We ended up having a one night stand and he asked if he could "smoke" at around 6 AM before work. I assumed w**d. I don't partake but said okay...twas m**h. He straight up pulled a m**h pipe out of his bag and blew a fat cloud into my home that I had made a safe space for my daughter and I. Needless to say, we didn't talk after that.

Sticking boogers on the wall.

I was the houseguest here but this story is too good not to tell. I am at my friends, his wife's family is over and were getting our drink on. Meet the new wifes fam kind of thing. I go to the bathroom and see wife's younger brother (abt 14) face down pants down around his ankles on the super fuzzy bathmat. I think "Ok not cool someone let the kid drink" but ok I'll pee outside and let sis know her brother is passed out so she checks on him. Next morning the sister comes to me and explains that the brother..."has a thing" for furry objects he was defiling the bathmat.

Opening my fridge like they were conducting a home inspection.

Not caught directly, but...
They were wiping their a*s with magazine pages instead of the *abundant* TP and then stuffing the poopy magazine pages into the trash can, horribly stinking up the bathroom...

We were asked to host the inlaws (son's wife's family) – Christmas Eve was to be a party.

As I worked the kitchen island prepping food, the families commence to …. flat out power drink.

Our son's FIL is driven home about 2 hours in because he hit the wall and was veering between passing out and being disgusting to the ladies. Our son drove him home. DIL's sister's behavior generates this exchange in hour three - “A Girl, we need a bucket'” W*F but yes, the Jamison shots had put sister in a bad place. Projectile vomiting ensued. The defiled recliner was promptly placed on the patio. Son was going to escort her home. Sister is not happy. Marginally assaults son as he attempts to get her to the car. In our driveway. On Christmas eve. Our daughter calls 911, police come. My husband provides an overview and tried to deescalate. Sister decides to a*****t officer and no smoothing over by my husband is keeping her out of jail.

And to all a Good Night!

I had some friends over when I still lived with my mom. She had a framed collage on the wall with childhood photos of me, my mom, and my brother. One of my friends actually took a picture of it with their phone. So weird. Like, bro, what do you even want with a picture of my family from when we were kids?

I was away for this but I still lived there at the time, so it counts. A roommate had some people over to stay the night while I was gone, and one of the guests sleepwalked into my roommates room very late at night, walked to the corner, pulled down his pants, and started p*****g on the floor. The sound woke up my roommate’s GF, who freaked and woke up my roommate, who freaked and woke up the pi****r. Apparently, in his sleep, he had thought he walked into the bathroom or something. This was years ago and I only heard stories about it, so I don’t remember much about the aftermath sadly.

I was the guest. But I think its kinda funny. Having a sleepover at my friend's house. Kid had a brother but I wasn't friends with him. Later that night, his mom comes in screaming about p**p. Someone had p****d behind the laundry basket in the bathroom. Both kids denied it so the mom blamed me. It wasn't me. Someone p****d behind the laundry basket. And it definitely wasn't me. One of the kids did it. Don't know who or why they did it. But I got yelled at.

I had a neighbour drop by and when she left all the gift cards I had gotten for Christmas were gone from the wall unit shift in my living room. I worked in condo security and the residents would give us coffee shop or fast food gift cards. I had shown them to her when she asked how work was.
I had actually planned to regift them to family as my min wage pay did not go far.
I confronted her the next day and she readily admitted it. She said she deserved them more because she was a single parent on welfare and I had a job. For reference in Canada at that time single parents on assistance actually made more than someone working a 40 hour week on min wage. The benefits were called Mother's Allowance. 400 dollars in gift cards gone.

I was living with one of my childhood friends at the time and his family from out of town stopped by to have a few drinks etc. My friend ended up missing for 30+ minutes and his family started questioning me where he disappeared to.

I found him in the bathroom, pants around the ankles, sitting on the toilet, legs sprawled out, semi-hard d**k in his hand, and passed the f**k out.

I guess he decided to go have a wank while his family from another state was visiting and passed out after he finished the deed.

Roommate's friend took a huge s**t on our fire escape black out drunk.

Stayed for two evenings. Ate an entire cake in their bedroom after going to bed.

In high school, my friends and I were over at my house when my mom was out of town, and we were all doing a bunch of M**A. One of my friends took some X***x then asked if he could pass out in my room, I said he could. We were all just laying around the living room and listening to music. In between one of the songs one of my friends sat right up REALLY fast, and she said “I hear people f*****g”. We turned off the music and listened, and faintly heard people f*****g, it was coming from my room. We all walked in there, and there we saw it. My friend who asked to sleep in my room passed out while watching p**n on his phone. He had my blanket over him with one hand under the blanket. We were all f*****g speechless.

My uncle had a pet monkey named Banjo.

My uncle kept Banjo in a cage, that was portable and he brought it to family gatherings.

My cousin married a Russian woman who spoke little English. I forgot her name so I will refer to as Cousinwife. They had a child named Takodah (they claimed it was "Dakota" backwards. It is not).

Uncle brought Banjo to Christmas dinner as usual, and set Banjo up in the living room

Banjo grabbed Takodah through the chainlink cage, and baby Takodah could not break free. Screaming ensued as boy and beast fought in the living room while grandfather slept blissfully nearby.

Cousinwife hears the commotion, and was in the kitchen closer to the action (we were in the backyard shooting prairie dogs).

Evidently, we had left a pistol in the kitchen because as we turned the corner into the living room, Cousinwife is unloading and entire Glock .40 magazine into Banjo.