50 Times Deliveries Went Off The Rails In The Most Embarrassing Ways

I knocked on the door and a couple voices told me to come inside. When I opened the door there were weird cameras and lights pointing at me and a man and a woman sitting on a couch across the room. They knew I was nervous and confused and they asked me to bring the pizza over to them. I walked the pizza over and the woman said "you just walked through a ghost". They were f*****g amateur ghost hunters looking for ghosts in a trailer.

While I actually am a delivery driver myself, the weirdest experience happened actually when I ordered food to my house. I live in a college section of Pittsburgh with 5 roommates so it's safe to say the house is constantly gross. The same goes for our front porch which is just littered in garbage. Well my driver called me to tell me he was outside. He was outside on the curb walking up to me. My porch is walled in up to about hip height so I'm peering over as I walk out of my front door to grab the food. In between the wall and I, there is this massive f*****g possum looking me dead in the eyes (the driver couldn't see). It was literally the first time I've seen one of these monsters and I s**t my britches. I yelled "JUST PUT THE FOOD ON THE GROUND. JUST...JUST DONT COME UP HERE" as the last sliver of my masculine identity slivers out of me, sprinting back inside. Safely inside, peering out my window, I see the guy standing halfway up my staircase about 2 feet away from this gargantuan f*****g rodent, but his view was still obstructed. He's like, "Sir.... Do you not want your food?" And I scream from inside, "YES BUT DON'T COME ANY FURTHER. I WILL COME TO YOU." I leap out the door, past the disease-ridden hair-sack commandeering my porch, snag the bag from his hands, and leap back inside.

From my perspective the whole interaction was me just being a huge p***y about an animal, but from his perspective, I must have seemed like a next-level c*******d or an acid trip gone wrong.

Delivering pizza, guy answers the door in undies and a f*****g gas mask. Literally Walter White. I ask him how his night is going and he just motions for the debit machine. He pays, gets his munch, and tips me 45 dollars (his pizza costed 20 something.) I couldn't decide whether to laugh, be afraid, or profusely thank him for the tip. But that was a wack f*****g delivery.

TL;DR: I delivered a 20 dollar pizza to Walter White in a gas mask and he tipped me 50 bucks.

I was delivering a mobile order for papa johns and it was really late. I was annoyed because I wanted to take a double (to get more tips). When she answered the door she was incredibly hot and was only wearing panties and a jacket with no zipper (horrible design flaw in my opinion). She had to hold it closed to not expose herself, and she seemed very confused. I said "hello mrs.[name on order]! Sorry about the wait. Here's your pizza", and that was when she said "oh… she's not supposed to be home for another four hours…". She could tell that I was wondering why her roommate would order a pizza four hours early and she said "…my girlfriend…". Then another incredibly attractive woman sits up from the couch in the living room completely naked and stretches.

Her girlfriend knew that she was cheating on her and ordered her (and her mistress) a pizza as a passive aggressive way to show that she knew. I had to deliver that kind of poison. I had her sign her girlfriend's credit card receipt so that we could both be rid of that situation (for the time being).

This was in my first month of delivering pizzas. I pull up to a 4 plex (2 floors, 2 apartments per floor) and knock on the correct door. After a minute an old scruffy russian sounding guy answers the door and says "How much?". I told him the total and he walks off to get money.

I look over to my right and can see the top of his wife's head poking over the back of a recliner. She is gabbing away with a friend on the phone going on and on. After a minute or two of listening to her wondering what is taking this guy so long, I hear a change jar being emptied on the counter. "This guy seriously is about to pay me with all change and doesn't even have it counted? S**T." I sighed hard but was thankful we were slow at the time, so I wouldn't really miss out on any money waiting for this guy.

So here I am, listening to this old lady blabbing on, not understanding pretty much anything she is saying, while i can hear the old man scooting change around as he counts it. Finally after a solid 5+ minutes of standing there, the man walks out and says something to his wife in a foreign language. She rotates the chair around so i can clearly see her and there is no phone. I immediately stuck my head inside looking for a phone. I can see the table by the chair is empty, and there is nothing in her hands, on her lap, on the floor. I looked everywhere for this phone. There wasn't one. She was literally talking to herself/the wall.

I started going crazy in my head wondering what was going on. She starts talking to the air again, and turns her chair back towards the wall. The guy goes and grabs the money, and hands me a bag. It was filled with nickles and dimes. There was not 1 quarter, or silver dollar or anything. I just looked at him, bewildered, then to her, mouth slightly agape wondering what was happening. "Is 20 cents for you."

I said nothing. I turned around with my bag of changed and walked back to my car. The whole thing took about 15 minutes, most of which was spent with me standing in a wide open door in the middle of summer listening to a crazy old lady talk to the wall. When I got back to the store I plopped the bag of money down and explained what happened. My manager says "You never know what to expect... h**l a few months ago someone delivered to a p**n shoot and saw all the women walking around naked!" I never found out if that was true or not... but i like to think it is.

People are always naked! The best is when they try to hide behind glass doors, or they are desperately trying to cover their chest, but nothing else. Also, towels slip off and robes open often. The weirdest things I've had to deliver (that I know of, most stuff is in boxes) was a glass shower door (please don't post these things- they are heavy as f**k and it took ages to find a van that I could fit it in), large beanbags, a book of stamps, loose ping pong balls and a watering can.

The delivery itself wasn't too weird, but as I was walking back to my car, I see an old lady in a light blue bug with a hoola girl in the windshield pass by. A few seconds later, she reverses all the way down the road, stops right behind my car, blocking the driveway, and stares at me. She pulls forward after about 30 seconds.

She just wanted to establish her dominance over delivery drivers.

Edit: Another good one I just remembered. This one guy lives in a trailer, and he is... well endowed in the gut area. I don't think he has the energy to move much, as I had to go through the back, since his front door had stacks of garbage piled in front of it. The kicker was when he opened the door... the smell hit me in the face like a Jackie Chan flick. He must not have the energy to go to his toilet, either. Instead, he just had a pile of p**s jars. At least he tipped well?

I once had a delivery at a hotel and all they had to do was sign the receipt. Well the guy was extremely friendly and told me to come in. Then he kinda just stood there on his phone for a minute while his pregnant wife laid on the bed. Felt like years till he put him phone down signed it and let me leave lol.

I deliver in a campus town, and that leads to all sorts of odd things, but the weirdest would have to be delivering to a sorority where the gal didn't have money for a tip and so asked if it would be ok if she flashed me. I've never had anybody ask to flash me I feel like you either do it or you dont, but I wasn't entirely sure what to say so I kinda just laughed nervously and said sure.

This incident happened a few years ago when I was recovering from knee surgery. A little back story about me is that I am a naturist (nudist) and when I am home, I am naked all the time, but I am somewhat respectable to answering the door with a robe or shorts if I am not expecting someone I know, or someone who I need to cover for. I was living in a gated apartment building (requires to be buzzed in to enter the lobby) and some of my fellow tenants already knew that I was a naturist, they even joined me or hosted themselves so I wouldn’t bother covering up for them when I knew they were coming over. So while I was recovering, I was using crutches to get around in my apartment and did require some help at times. One of my friends, a female who is also a naturist and also lives in the building gave me a call saying that she would be over shortly to help me bathe. So I’m expecting her when the doorbell rings at the door. I hobble over to answer it with just the crutches and open the door for her, only thing is that it wasn’t her. It was a female UPS driver with a package that I needed to sign for. She was a little surprised to see me answering the door fully nude, as well as on crutches. I immediately apologized and told her I was expecting someone else. She was cool about it, even laughed some. Since the package was kind of large, she offered to bring the package in the apartment for me, actually insisted on it. So I agreed and turned around while she followed me down the long hallway into the living room to put the package down. I then signed for it and followed her back to the door to close it behind her. Just as we were reaching the door, my friend was arriving and so she thanked the delivery person again and then closed it behind her. We had a laugh about it afterwards while she was bathing me as well.