50 Hilariously Bad Names That Had People Questioning, “What The Hell Were Their Parents Thinking?”

Naming a child can be a headache for many reasons—there might be too many or too few options to choose from that you like, the ones that you do like might not “fit” your baby, or every single name might bear connotations, stopping you from naming your child one way or another; not to mention when there’s a second parent involved in the decision-making process, with another list of yeses and nos.

According to Dr. Valerie Fridland, a sociolinguist, professor in the department of English at the University of Nevada, and author of Like, Literally, Dude: Arguing for the Good in Bad English, the idea that names need to “fit” an object or person has been around since antiquity.

“In Plato’s discussion of language in the Cratylus, Socrates suggests names are not simply arbitrary labels we give things but emerge from some quality of what is being named. In other words, Socrates argues that names must capture some natural aspect or sense of the person or thing that is being named,” she explained in an interview with Bored Panda.

Talking about unique names, Dr. Fridland noted that it can be a blessing and a curse. Also, the way people feel about an unusual name tends to change with age.

“Early on, kids don’t like to be different from other kids and, in elementary school, a very unique name can make a kid stand out or become a target for teasing,” she said. “When we are older, though, a distinctive name can be something that sets you apart and makes you memorable to those you meet as they have an element of unexpectedness and surprise that can ramp up attention.”

“Another bonus of unique names is that others are less likely to have a negative association with it from some unpleasant person they once knew,” the sociolinguist continued. “So if you knew a Frank that was a jerk years ago, you might still hold a grudge against all Franks going forward.

“However, the research on how people with unique names feel later in life is a bit mixed, with some research suggesting that common names tend to be a safer bet in predicting success later in life.”

Expanding on the idea that common names tend to be a safer bet in predicting success later in life, Dr. Fridland noted that that is related to certain biases some people hold.

“This may be related more to the fact that unique names often give hints as to socioeconomic status or ethnicity because the dominant culture in a society often plays a role in which names are noticed and how they are received. If a name calls attention to ethnicity, for example, it can result in discrimination in institutional or workplace environments owing to a bias against that group.

“Research shows that simply having an ethnic-sounding name on an application can affect how often that person is selected for an interview,” the expert pointed out.

“In short, what we name our kids may not be the issue,” Dr. Fridland summed up. “Instead, how other people react to those names—in positive or negative ways—is really what seems to play a big role in how well kids succeed in life as it can affect how kids view themselves.”