“The Carpet Was Just Like Squish Squish Squish”: 30 Wild Things Workers Saw In Clients’ Homes

A huge home with absolutely nothing in it except a small desk and computer, and a queen sized bed. Must have been a $900k-million dollar home, and it had a Jaguar in the garage. I was there to babysit their dog, a lovely Ascob Cocker Spaniel who adored tennis balls and I only roamed the house on the last day of their vacation to report that the pup was indeed a very good girl who left no messes.

On the flip side, I also babysat a Golden Retriever and Golden Doodle in a home to hoarders. It was beyond awful.

Used to do construction sales and would be in a handful of houses every week. Weirdest for me was the number of preppers—we’re talking basements piled with emergency food in buckets, guns everywhere, stockpiles of wood and random supplies. At least one house a week would be like that. Still makes me look at people differently.

Summer 1997 working for a moving company for the summer. Old head mover guy says to me "the kinky s**t is always in the instrument cases." We carried a bunch of stuff up to the master BR, he pops a trombone case....no trombone but cuffs, d****s, v*******s, VHS p**n. That guy knew the way.

Service Technician here. Been to this guy’s apartment unit where the carpet has been torn off, revealing the plywood. Windows were covered up by old cardboards that looks to be years old and breaking apart. Drywall behind the kitchen sink torn down. Sink filled with dirty moldy dishes. 5 gallon buckets filled with grease/mold. Stove pulled out and is in the middle of the kitchen. Feces on the floor. Kitty litter box…. This dude has no pet and the unit smelled like a*s.

Drove by the unit a few months later to see that it’s getting remodeled. Looks like that tenant got evicted. Crazy thing is, he drove a Hell Cat when it was first introduced and also had a Harley. He seems pretty sane and dressed casually. Would never imagined someone like that living in a dump… wait… I’ve seen dumpsters cleaner than this guy’s apartment.

Honestly during my time I don’t recall seeing anything “weird” but I saw things that appalled me. Like a sweet cat being so obese he couldn’t even stand. And just crazy levels of filth. These were very wealthy people too with extremely nice homes. 

One home had gross black marks ALL OVER every single wall. I asked what it was and was told it was dog slobber from their dog shaking his head and slinging it everywhere. And they didn’t even require us to clean it, they just live with dog slobber on the walls. .

We are auctioneers. We went to a house once where there was no water. The back porch was filled with five gallon buckets that were what he used as a toilet. The house was going to be put on the market. I have no idea what they did with all those buckets. We did not do an auction.

Locked bedroom of wall-to-wall shelves and bins full of a large collection of dolls. Mainly the kind that they make horror movies about.

Oh man I delivered and installed artwork and many clients were mega wealthy. One guy had a huge property that would make Alex jones drool. It had an actual alter with two stone pillars covered in plastic and a huge pyramid built out of stones from the area. Either the guy thought it was funny or he was top tier Illuminati. Not making this up.

A jar full of bed bugs.

Cleaned in a house one time, couple in their 30s or 40s, lower middle class, nothing fancy. They had multiple framed, signed, gold/platinum albums by the band, Train. No other bands, just, Train.

Also the garage had a bunch crop dusting signs and posters. I distinctly remember a yellow diamond crossing sign, 'Crop Duster Crossing' with a plane spraying gas.