Some of us have jobs that are as thrilling as watching paint dry: just screens, keyboards, and maybe a cute office plant. But then, there are people who actually see things while working, and not just spreadsheets. Think late-night surveillance, unpredictable visitors, and moments where you wonder, “Did that really just happen?”
Today’s list comes straight from Reddit, where security workers spilled stories that range from the hilarious to the completely unexplainable. Ever seen someone “chair swim” like it’s an Olympic event? Or how about something that sends a chill down your spine? These aren’t your average daily recaps, they’re the kind of tales that make even seasoned guards do a double take.
#1
Watching two guys on cctv practising their moves with kendo sticks. It was a train station, 8pm, bored.
They were practising feints, moves, finishers.
I remote in to the PA system "Use the Force, Luke!"
Kendo guys pause. Then return to their practice.
"Do or do not! There is no try!"
Okay, now I have them. They can't see the camera. They investigate the surrounds of the station where they're sitting. "There I am not!"
They find the ticketing machine. Investigate it. "In there, I do not exist!" Now they're looking in the trees, up every pole. I'm ten kilometers away laughing uproriously.
Finally, they see a camera on a pole "Found me you have! A great Jedi you will become!"
They were practising feints, moves, finishers.
I remote in to the PA system "Use the Force, Luke!"
Kendo guys pause. Then return to their practice.
"Do or do not! There is no try!"
Okay, now I have them. They can't see the camera. They investigate the surrounds of the station where they're sitting. "There I am not!"
They find the ticketing machine. Investigate it. "In there, I do not exist!" Now they're looking in the trees, up every pole. I'm ten kilometers away laughing uproriously.
Finally, they see a camera on a pole "Found me you have! A great Jedi you will become!"
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165points
#2
I've shared this story before, but my first job out of college I used to work as a electrical engineer for a major security firm (worldwide global, with a lousy reputation), the job was designing cameras, junction boxes, security systems power calculations, etc.
One of my first assignments there was to help write a report about a security breach at a nuclear storage/research facility that was using a security system our company had implemented for them.
To summarize the breach, a group of octogenarian nuns broke into a secure nuclear facility and started painting the storage buildings in their own blood, and we had to review the footage to find out how they breached our security system. The footage was as gnarly as it sounds.
How did they break in? It turns out the site had spent millions on hiring us to design, test, integrate, and train them on a state-of-the-art security system of cameras, motion sensors, microwave detection systems, and fiber optic fence lining, only for them to turn most of it off to save on power/nuisance alarm costs.
One of my first assignments there was to help write a report about a security breach at a nuclear storage/research facility that was using a security system our company had implemented for them.
To summarize the breach, a group of octogenarian nuns broke into a secure nuclear facility and started painting the storage buildings in their own blood, and we had to review the footage to find out how they breached our security system. The footage was as gnarly as it sounds.
How did they break in? It turns out the site had spent millions on hiring us to design, test, integrate, and train them on a state-of-the-art security system of cameras, motion sensors, microwave detection systems, and fiber optic fence lining, only for them to turn most of it off to save on power/nuisance alarm costs.
87points
#3
Have security camera's at my house. After putting them up the neighbor kids like to pretend horrible things happen on screen.
One got a realistic looking airsoft gun and pretended to shoot his friend who actually layed there for 20 minutes (ish) before his friend came back. They waved at the camera.
Later there was a girl, about 12, who joined them and they pretended to accost her on the street. She tries to pull out mad sick kung fu moves but it was obvious they were just copying ninja turtles. (Although probably not ninja turtles as I am f****n old.) It was obviously fake as they were laughing their a*ses off.
One got a realistic looking airsoft gun and pretended to shoot his friend who actually layed there for 20 minutes (ish) before his friend came back. They waved at the camera.
Later there was a girl, about 12, who joined them and they pretended to accost her on the street. She tries to pull out mad sick kung fu moves but it was obvious they were just copying ninja turtles. (Although probably not ninja turtles as I am f****n old.) It was obviously fake as they were laughing their a*ses off.
62points
Security cameras are usually praised for catching culprits in the act: tracking suspicious behavior, preventing theft, and keeping places safe. But every now and then, these unblinking lenses end up recording something completely unexpected. From spontaneous elevator dance-offs to downright bizarre human behavior, some of the footage is more entertaining than any reality show.
To learn more, we spoke with Siddharth Chaturvedi, the head of security at a commercial building in Mumbai. With over a decade of experience, he’s seen it all, from the absurd to the downright shocking. His job may be behind the scenes, but the stories he gathers could fill a comedy script (or a mystery novel, depending on the day). Siddharth oversees over 100 cameras across multiple floors, monitoring everything from lobbies to service areas. “People forget we watch, not because we want to snoop, but to ensure everyone’s safety,” he explains.
#4
Was working in a manufacturing facility that did injection molded plastic. One night about 2am one of the machines came on and started running all by itself. I could see it running on two of the cameras. Went to investigate and shut it off. Back to my desk.
Two hours later i see it come on again. Shut it off again. Turned the controllable camera towards it and zoomed in to watch.
About an hour later, just before staff usually starts coming in, i see the problem. There was a rat that was furiously clawing and gnawing at the panel. He managed to bump his a*s into the start switch and kick it on.
They werent allowed to leave the machines "ready to go in the morning" anymore.
Two hours later i see it come on again. Shut it off again. Turned the controllable camera towards it and zoomed in to watch.
About an hour later, just before staff usually starts coming in, i see the problem. There was a rat that was furiously clawing and gnawing at the panel. He managed to bump his a*s into the start switch and kick it on.
They werent allowed to leave the machines "ready to go in the morning" anymore.
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60points
#5
My wife and her co-workers scheduled some fun "olympics" events for their team. One of them was "synchronized office chair swimming," where they choreographed routines of riding around in spinning office chairs.
About an hour later, her friend is chatting it up with security and they are laughing their a*ses off. They call her over where they are watching the security camera video of synchronized office chair swimming hilariously trying to figure out what these people could possibly be doing.
About an hour later, her friend is chatting it up with security and they are laughing their a*ses off. They call her over where they are watching the security camera video of synchronized office chair swimming hilariously trying to figure out what these people could possibly be doing.
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60points
#6
Maybe not weird but hilarious. I was security out in the boonies. Our site was taken over by a pair of Canada geese. I was morning crew, and watched my coworker on the camera as he walked to his car. Except he didn’t make it. One of the geese came flying into frame and absolutely bombed him. Bless his heart, he was from some part of Africa that doesn’t have giant pissed off attack birds. I went out to scare them off, and rewound the video to see what I’d missed. I wish I’d gotten the video and added the Benny hill soundtrack because in the time it took me to get out to that parking lot, the goose was chasing him around in circles. He was swinging his soft lunchbox at it’s he ran. I laughed so hard I cried.
57points
“People do crazy things, trust me,” he laughs. “And no, dancing isn’t the craziest one, that’s actually pretty normal. Office stress does strange things to people. You’d be surprised how often someone turns a lift into a mini disco when they think no one’s watching.” In fact, Siddharth says elevator dancing happens at least twice a week. “Some even mouth lyrics into the camera like it’s a stage performance,” he adds.
Sometimes, the footage reveals habits that leave the security team both stunned and grossed out. “We usually review recordings if there’s excessive trash in the lift or corridor. One time, I caught someone spitting right in the hallway. Just…why? They must think cameras don’t exist,” Siddharth shares with disbelief. These behaviors often result in memos sent to entire departments. “We avoid naming names unless absolutely necessary, but we keep records,” he says.
#7
I was filling out some forms in the security office with the two guards on duty. It was long after hours and very dark out. Heard a “What the F**k?” from a guard and looked up.
A whole bunch of college students, dressed in next to nothing, were whaling on each other with pool noodles.
The fight passed in front of the main doors, into the parking lot, and, finally, one group routed the others out of the area.
Guards just sighed and went back to filling out forms. One commented offhand “looks like blue won this time”.
A whole bunch of college students, dressed in next to nothing, were whaling on each other with pool noodles.
The fight passed in front of the main doors, into the parking lot, and, finally, one group routed the others out of the area.
Guards just sighed and went back to filling out forms. One commented offhand “looks like blue won this time”.
56points
#8
Used to review security tapes for individuals who were held while they were intoxicated. Needless to say, I’ve seen a lot of crazy stuff.
Tops had to be a tie. I’ll let you choose which was weirder.
1) Fire system was malfunctioning and the fire alarm kept coming on every twenty minutes or so. Each time it happened a lady would stand up, strip, and swing her clothes around. Staff had to chase her around the room and get her covered each time. The first few times they’d get her clothes back on, and a few minutes later the fire alarm would go off and start the whole process over again.
2) A gentleman was not behaving in the general population and was placed in a temporary holding area until police could escort him to a more secure spot. This was when this facility wasn’t fully finished and thus had drop ceiling instead of a hard ceiling. The room he was in was more like a closet that was about five feet wide by about eight feet long, had a mesh gate instead of a door and wasn’t visible from where staff were sitting. They were supposed to check on him but didn’t.
You see where this is going? Mr. Inebriated Spider-Man climbed the walls and tried to escape through the ceiling. Remember, this is a drop ceiling and I truly think it earned its name on that day. As he was attempting his Ocean’s Eleven escape he came crashing down ten feet in the entryway onto a cement floor. The best part? It was right in front of a police officer that was bringing someone else in. I got to present that to my boss who didn’t believe me when I told him what I saw.
Tops had to be a tie. I’ll let you choose which was weirder.
1) Fire system was malfunctioning and the fire alarm kept coming on every twenty minutes or so. Each time it happened a lady would stand up, strip, and swing her clothes around. Staff had to chase her around the room and get her covered each time. The first few times they’d get her clothes back on, and a few minutes later the fire alarm would go off and start the whole process over again.
2) A gentleman was not behaving in the general population and was placed in a temporary holding area until police could escort him to a more secure spot. This was when this facility wasn’t fully finished and thus had drop ceiling instead of a hard ceiling. The room he was in was more like a closet that was about five feet wide by about eight feet long, had a mesh gate instead of a door and wasn’t visible from where staff were sitting. They were supposed to check on him but didn’t.
You see where this is going? Mr. Inebriated Spider-Man climbed the walls and tried to escape through the ceiling. Remember, this is a drop ceiling and I truly think it earned its name on that day. As he was attempting his Ocean’s Eleven escape he came crashing down ten feet in the entryway onto a cement floor. The best part? It was right in front of a police officer that was bringing someone else in. I got to present that to my boss who didn’t believe me when I told him what I saw.
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56points
#9
Not a security guard, but I was involved in reviewing camera footage provided by security. I saw two bumbling thieves try to steal from a hospital cafe.
The first guy had casts on both arms. He managed to get the cash register open, but couldn't reach into the drawer for the money. He tried for a couple of minutes before giving up and calling his friend over. His friend was in a wheelchair. He tried several times to get it behind the counter, reversing and coming in from different angles.
They were still trying to grab the cash when the barista came back and they had to very casually wander off, pretending nothing was going on.
The first guy had casts on both arms. He managed to get the cash register open, but couldn't reach into the drawer for the money. He tried for a couple of minutes before giving up and calling his friend over. His friend was in a wheelchair. He tried several times to get it behind the counter, reversing and coming in from different angles.
They were still trying to grab the cash when the barista came back and they had to very casually wander off, pretending nothing was going on.
55points
Then there are the forgetful folks, the stars of many funny replays. “One person left an entire suitcase in the lift,” he recalls. “They were so busy yelling on the phone, they walked right out and left it behind. Another time, someone casually slid a fallen lipstick into their own bag, thinking no one noticed.” Siddharth says the lost-and-found is often filled with umbrellas, phones, and even food containers. “And no, we don’t eat what’s left behind, not even that mystery cake,” he jokes.
#10
Back when I was a security guard during my second semester of college I was checking the cctv cameras and this guy was juggling beer bottles the center was close so no one was supposed to be there. I grabbed my walkie and went to check him out when I got to him. This man was drunk like hell and he was just juggling the bottles I asked him what he was doing and he said “ hang one sec” threw all three bottles up and caught two in each hand then proceeded to catch the third one WITH HIS TEETH this guy was hammered and I was shocked and impressed I let him pass out in the break room because he didn’t have a phone or wallet on him. And by morning he said thanks and left I wish I had the video to link.
53points
#11
Not a security guard, but my moms office now has a permanent record of her throwing her office phone (while on the phone with a client, mind you), booking it out of her office screaming, then proceeding to break down and cry in the hallway while everyone poked their heads out of their own respective offices. A cicada landed on her leg.
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51points
#12
Am not security guard but I worked for a security integrator doing physical security. Some of my colleagues did electronic access control & CCTV and I occasionally got roped in to assisting on those jobs.
Was asked to assist on a survey at a large Canadian restaurant chain which was having issues with cameras that they had recently had installed in their freezers. Their last security contractor had installed cheap cameras inside the freezers which were not rated for such use. This was potentially a very large job which had hundreds of locations across the country. We were called in to survey a few locations and quote a fix.
So I showed up to a location and we had a look at the setup inside the freezers. No big deal, simple enough fix. I don't even specialize in this stuff and I could easily see the problem and solution. It's a big job, we didn't want any mistake or complications, so we asked to look at their NVR and monitoring setup just to get an idea of the equipment... We walk in to the manager's office and there are two managers watching a woman cram her big fake t**s into a bra. We kind of stood there in horror but the guys didn't react. They acted casual, like this was normal. After a couple seconds I notice the girl is putting on the company's uniform and name tag and then I see the OSD indicating I'm not looking at p**n or something, but this is live feed from their CCTV system...
"What is she doing?!"
"Changing..." He says this like I asked him a really dumb question.
"Don't you have changing rooms?!"
"That IS the changing room..."
"There's a camera in the changing room!?!?"
"Of course, otherwise they'd fill their backpacks with steak every night..."
We were dumbfounded. We made a couple notes and walked out. My buddy went up to one of the waitresses on the way out and asked her if she knew if there was a camera in the changing room. She also acted like we were stupid.
Long story short, we surveyed two other locations that day. All had cameras in the change rooms. All had managers who thought that was normal and all had waitresses who seemed to enjoy this fact or were completely unconcerned.
I left that company four years ago but from what I hear this is still ongoing to this day. This customer gets a very quick response time from the electronics technicians when a service order shows up in the system... The executive team did bring it up with the customer multiple times and nothing has changed.
That was a huge lesson to me about corporate culture and brainwashing. It no longer surprises me when I hear corporations get caught engaging in illegal behaviour and the kind of mass ignorance that corporate culture can create.
Was asked to assist on a survey at a large Canadian restaurant chain which was having issues with cameras that they had recently had installed in their freezers. Their last security contractor had installed cheap cameras inside the freezers which were not rated for such use. This was potentially a very large job which had hundreds of locations across the country. We were called in to survey a few locations and quote a fix.
So I showed up to a location and we had a look at the setup inside the freezers. No big deal, simple enough fix. I don't even specialize in this stuff and I could easily see the problem and solution. It's a big job, we didn't want any mistake or complications, so we asked to look at their NVR and monitoring setup just to get an idea of the equipment... We walk in to the manager's office and there are two managers watching a woman cram her big fake t**s into a bra. We kind of stood there in horror but the guys didn't react. They acted casual, like this was normal. After a couple seconds I notice the girl is putting on the company's uniform and name tag and then I see the OSD indicating I'm not looking at p**n or something, but this is live feed from their CCTV system...
"What is she doing?!"
"Changing..." He says this like I asked him a really dumb question.
"Don't you have changing rooms?!"
"That IS the changing room..."
"There's a camera in the changing room!?!?"
"Of course, otherwise they'd fill their backpacks with steak every night..."
We were dumbfounded. We made a couple notes and walked out. My buddy went up to one of the waitresses on the way out and asked her if she knew if there was a camera in the changing room. She also acted like we were stupid.
Long story short, we surveyed two other locations that day. All had cameras in the change rooms. All had managers who thought that was normal and all had waitresses who seemed to enjoy this fact or were completely unconcerned.
I left that company four years ago but from what I hear this is still ongoing to this day. This customer gets a very quick response time from the electronics technicians when a service order shows up in the system... The executive team did bring it up with the customer multiple times and nothing has changed.
That was a huge lesson to me about corporate culture and brainwashing. It no longer surprises me when I hear corporations get caught engaging in illegal behaviour and the kind of mass ignorance that corporate culture can create.
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45points
People regularly come to Siddharth asking to check footage when they lose something. “We can't show it to just anyone because of policy, but we do check,” he says. “Most of the time, the item is in plain sight. Like that person who kept pacing a lift that was totally empty before finally coming to us in panic.” They follow strict data privacy rules when reviewing footage. “Only senior management or HR can authorize footage release,” he adds.
#13
I do security for a large retailer. There's this guy who comes in all the time and just rearranges stuff. He'll put books in boxes and stack candles, stuff like that. Kicked a pair of socks underneath a fixture once. He'll rearrange something, stand back, and look at it with approval. Like he's fixing up the store to completely random standards.
Never steals but one time he came upon a take out drink cup that someone left on a shelf and, no hesitation, just picks it up and downs it. Had me laughing pretty hard.
Never steals but one time he came upon a take out drink cup that someone left on a shelf and, no hesitation, just picks it up and downs it. Had me laughing pretty hard.
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43points
#14
Not weird, but funny. We had a spate of purses having items stolen, usually when they were in the break room. So, we set a camera in the break room and waited. We caught an employee red handed waiting until one of the ladies weren't watching, reach into their purse and grab their wallet. Then we got security to confront her. What followed was an epic shouting match as the suspect tried to deny that it was her on the camera and that we'd planted evidence. Yes, the IT guys have time in their busy schedule to make fake videos apparently. She was still screaming innocence when the cops carted her off.
Anyway, the crime spree did mysteriously end when she was fired. So, my guess is she was guilty. The camera also was useful in determining who on the night crew was watching p**n on the breakroom kiosk machine, so that was fun also. They weren't fired, we just added a content filter and said maybe do that kind of stuff on your personal device when you get home.
Anyway, the crime spree did mysteriously end when she was fired. So, my guess is she was guilty. The camera also was useful in determining who on the night crew was watching p**n on the breakroom kiosk machine, so that was fun also. They weren't fired, we just added a content filter and said maybe do that kind of stuff on your personal device when you get home.
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42points
#15
I work at a hotel in a decently-sized city, not in security but I did review the tapes. We have a large installation art exhibit in town at the moment, and there are sculptures all over town.
We reviewed footage of a girl who was MAYBE 5'5" drag a plastic sculpture of a 6.5 foot tall coyote into our lobby and then demanded that a bellman bring it up to her room "for the snaps". We told her it was a local art piece and she needed to please put it back.
We reviewed footage of a girl who was MAYBE 5'5" drag a plastic sculpture of a 6.5 foot tall coyote into our lobby and then demanded that a bellman bring it up to her room "for the snaps". We told her it was a local art piece and she needed to please put it back.
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41points
Some incidents are less funny, more baffling. “Once we were told the cleaning lady had vanished. The office was in a frenzy. Turned out, she had just nodded off inside the supply closet. Poor thing was exhausted, we all laughed, but also made sure she got a proper break,” he adds. The building now uses rotating shifts for cleaning staff to prevent burnout. “We care about their health as much as we do about the tenants’ comfort,” Siddharth insists.
#16
Not a security guard but my dad has a trail cam that was pointed towards the alley behind our house. One night two people showed up dressed up in animal costumes (I think a mouse and a raccoon) and started dancing and doing other weird s**t. Turns out it was their friends from a few houses down.
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39points
#17
I was a security guard for a couple of years in college and worked for two different companies. At one of them, I didn't have a fixed post. Instead, I would just be called in to sub for people who were out sick or on vacation, meaning I never knew much about the places I was working.
One night, I get called to work at a large corporate campus that served as the headquarters for two companies and the state farm bureau. On this campus, there is a pond. In this pond, there were often a bunch of a*****e Canadian geese.
On this particular shift, I was working with one of the regular guards at that location. He went out to do his rounds and left me to watch the security cameras. This is well after hours, so nobody should be in the parking lots except the cleaning crew. I notice a small car pull into the executive lot, and an old man gets out. He walks to the trunk and pulls out a giant plastic tub. He tips the whole thing over and it has to be at least 30 gallons of dog food. He gets back in the car, drives to the other side of the lot, and waits. Soon, all these a*****e geese swoop in and start eating the dog food. Old guy watches for a bit, then leaves. The entire time, I'm recording the camera feed and taking still pictures, confused as hell.
I grab my work phone and call the other guard. I explain what I just saw and he excitedly yells "OH F**K! YOU CAUGHT THE GOOSE GUY!"
Apparently, this guy had been regularly coming to feed the geese every night. The longer he fed the geese, the more of them showed up. They had been damaging the grass on the property, s******g everywhere, and attacking employees for months. But nobody could ever catch the goose guy in the act, or get a license plate number.
The weirdest thing was, there were plenty of public parks close by with plenty of geese for this guy to feed. I have no idea why he chose the executive parking lot of some company as the ideal goose feeding location.
One night, I get called to work at a large corporate campus that served as the headquarters for two companies and the state farm bureau. On this campus, there is a pond. In this pond, there were often a bunch of a*****e Canadian geese.
On this particular shift, I was working with one of the regular guards at that location. He went out to do his rounds and left me to watch the security cameras. This is well after hours, so nobody should be in the parking lots except the cleaning crew. I notice a small car pull into the executive lot, and an old man gets out. He walks to the trunk and pulls out a giant plastic tub. He tips the whole thing over and it has to be at least 30 gallons of dog food. He gets back in the car, drives to the other side of the lot, and waits. Soon, all these a*****e geese swoop in and start eating the dog food. Old guy watches for a bit, then leaves. The entire time, I'm recording the camera feed and taking still pictures, confused as hell.
I grab my work phone and call the other guard. I explain what I just saw and he excitedly yells "OH F**K! YOU CAUGHT THE GOOSE GUY!"
Apparently, this guy had been regularly coming to feed the geese every night. The longer he fed the geese, the more of them showed up. They had been damaging the grass on the property, s******g everywhere, and attacking employees for months. But nobody could ever catch the goose guy in the act, or get a license plate number.
The weirdest thing was, there were plenty of public parks close by with plenty of geese for this guy to feed. I have no idea why he chose the executive parking lot of some company as the ideal goose feeding location.
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37points
#18
Not a security guard, but I kept finding my workstation tampered with when I came in for work (cables unplugged, etc.). I suspected my sociopath supervisor. He didn't realize I knew how to work the security system. What followed was a very amusing video clip of him waiting until everyone else was out of the room, furtively looking around, then reaching back and unplugging the cable on my system.
I set a still from that as the background on our videoconferencing machine on the day I quit. That j*****s was the reason I had my workstation fully Bitlocker encrypted and equipped with redundant hard drives.
I set a still from that as the background on our videoconferencing machine on the day I quit. That j*****s was the reason I had my workstation fully Bitlocker encrypted and equipped with redundant hard drives.
36points
Not everything caught on tape is laugh-worthy, though. “We’ve seen people press the emergency stop for no reason. That’s a big issue, it delays things and can damage the system. We warn them, but some still think it’s a toy,” he says, shaking his head. According to Siddharth, each emergency stop costs about ₹4,000 in maintenance checks. “And yet, people still hit it because they’re late for lunch,” he sighs.
#19
I did video surveillance for about 6 months. The most bizarre / disgusting thing I saw besides the typical break-ins was, a woman stick a laptop down her pants, walk out the front the door and come back for more. About 3 hours later, employee found out 3 or 4 laptops were missing.
The other was an employee who opened the store, walked around eating junk food for a bit and sat down and thought about what he would do next for about half an hour. He simply sat still for about 30 minutes before unplugging the DVR and making off with several computer components as well a couple laptops.
Weird part is, soon thereafter he went rock climbing and slipped, on the way down he hit a rock and popped his eye out of his head. He called the owner asking for forgiveness and if there was anyway he could pay for what he stole.
Odd... to say the least.
The other was an employee who opened the store, walked around eating junk food for a bit and sat down and thought about what he would do next for about half an hour. He simply sat still for about 30 minutes before unplugging the DVR and making off with several computer components as well a couple laptops.
Weird part is, soon thereafter he went rock climbing and slipped, on the way down he hit a rock and popped his eye out of his head. He called the owner asking for forgiveness and if there was anyway he could pay for what he stole.
Odd... to say the least.
35points
#20
Was a supervisor that reviewed the camera in the guard shack after every shift. There were signs all over the office that they were on CCTV.
Reviewed this one graveyard, and the dude watched an entire episode of Game of Thrones then left the office for 3 hours.
Yeah, he was fired.
Reviewed this one graveyard, and the dude watched an entire episode of Game of Thrones then left the office for 3 hours.
Yeah, he was fired.
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33points