How do you feel about surprises? Some people secretly hope to find their best friends hiding behind a sofa on their birthday, waiting to pop out and start a party. Meanwhile, others can’t think of anything worse than being put on the spot out of nowhere. And according to a 2023 poll, nearly half of adults believe that small surprises are more meaningful than elaborate ones, such as expensive dinners or spontaneous stays in swanky hotels.
Apparently, over a third of adults also prefer giving surprises to receiving them, as it makes them feel all warm and fuzzy and can easily make their day. When it comes to what people believe surprising a friend beats, many reported that it’s even better than going for a walk, finishing all of your chores, taking a long bath, cooking your favorite meal or watching your favorite television show.
Regardless of whether or not you enjoy surprises, it’s likely that you don’t encounter them often. Most of our lives are pretty mundane, and that can be a blessing in some ways. Feeling at peace allows us to relax. But Susan Krauss Whitbourne, PhD, wrote a piece for Psychology Today about the “unexplored emotion of surprise,” and she notes that most of us spend surprisingly little time pondering this emotion.
Now, if you want to remember an experience better, the best thing to do might be to shock yourself. “When you're surprised by an unpredictable outcome, this activates the novelty-triggered neurons that respond to reward in the subcortical parts of the brain,” Dr. Krauss explains. “The responses of those neurons then become transferred to higher cortical areas where they become stored more permanently.”
So what kinds of surprising events are remembered most clearly? One study found that surprise and emotion had no impact on how well people could recall the facts from the night of the 2016 presidential election in the United States.
However, subjective memory was impacted by how surprised people were by the election results, as well as whether they felt excited or disappointed. Those who were happy with the results were more confident in how they recalled the events, while those who were upset were more likely to relive the evening, similar to patterns seen in trauma survivors.
While surprises certainly aren’t always pleasant, Krauss notes that they can still be extremely valuable. When your partner shows up with a bouquet of flowers or your best friend pops into town without telling you she was coming, you might unexpectedly have the best day of your life. And some surprises will force us to be open to new opportunities that we would have missed otherwise.
Even negative surprises can be learning experiences if we take the time to reflect on them. Why was that bad news so shocking to you? Is there anything you could have done to better prepare for it? Maybe it’s a blessing that you didn’t see it coming, as you would have been dreading every minute until it happened. We need all sorts of surprises to be able to appreciate the best ones.
The photos on this list might surprise you in a variety of ways. But if you’re looking for some suggestions of how to bring positive surprises into your loved ones’ lives, might we suggest having some flowers or a delicious treat delivered to them? If you know where they work, you can even have a lovely little pick-me-up dropped off at their office. Freshly baked cupcakes, a gorgeous bouquet or even an iced coffee can immediately make their day!
