One Reddit user recently turned to the community to ask the question, “People who use dating apps, what is the weirdest message you’ve gotten to start a conversation?”, and the results were truly mind blowing. Keep reading for 31 of the strangest messages online daters have sent as an icebreaker.
More info: Reddit
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As you can tell from looking at this list, there’s no end to the weirdness when it comes to starting a conversation on dating apps. You’d think that people would want to make the best first impression, but that’s clearly not been the plan when it comes to these truly odd messages.
Some are a little insulting, while others are just plain out there. Perhaps the people who sent these messages are trolling, or maybe they truly think kicking a convo off with a strange message will set them apart and make them stand out from the crowd.
Still, if you’re looking to put your best foot forward, it might not be the best idea to come on too strong or too strange, at first. Asking a potential mate what they do for a living, or what their favorite books or shows are, is a good bet. At least you have less of a chance of scaring them away with your opening salvo.
That being said, sometimes it can work. One user’s brother used Hot or Not to ask a prospective mate whether or not she liked burritos; the couple has now been together for 17 years and married for 11. That’s a happy ending in anyone’s books.
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It is possible that weird can be wonderful. Just consider the ‘Manic Pixie Dream Girl’ trope made popular in more than a few of cinema’s recent years. The term “manic pixie dream girl” (MPDG) was first used by film critic Nathan Rabin in his review of “Elizabethtown” to describe Kirsten Dunst’s character in the movie.
Rabin wrote that the MPDG exists “solely in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors to teach broodingly soulful young men to embrace life and its infinite mysteries and adventures.”
In her article for popular Hollywood website, Backstage.com, Crystal Duran says a manic pixie dream girl is the embodiment of a certain male fantasy: a charming woman who “isn’t like other girls” and has no desires of her own. While she may possess personality traits or a backstory that suggest a fully fleshed-out character, the story gives her little to no space to develop, learn, or advance her own interests.
Duran goes on to say that this type of character exudes an aura of ethereal, quirky unattainability and that you can find MPDGs everywhere in popular culture, almost always in stories written and/or directed by men.
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On social publishing platform, Medium, author PsychoMarcus writes relatable insights on mental wellness, relationships, self-discovery, and personal growth. In his article titled, “Navigating the Competitive World of Online Dating: A Man’s Perspective”, he takes a closer look at the challenges and opportunities that men face when dating online.
He says that, while dating in the digital age has made it more accessible and convenient for people to meet potential partners, online dating can be highly competitive and challenging, especially for men. He goes on to say that making a good first impression is essential, but it can be difficult when there are so many other men vying for attention.
Not to say it isn’t as challenging for women. More than a few men walking this planet have been known to give online dating a bad name with their inappropriate advances and general bad behavior.
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Need advice on picking a pleasing path through the forest of dating apps? In an article for healthcare provider MindBodyGreen, an LLC based in Brooklyn, New York, contributing relationships editor, certified sex educator, and holistic dating coach, Kelly Gonsalves, says that the first key to successful online dating is picking the best dating app or dating site that’s most suited to what you’re looking for, and sticking with it.
Bored Panda reached out to Gonsalves to get her opinions on unconventional first lines from the world of dating apps.
When we asked her whether she had any advice for online daters who've received strange or odd opening messages, she had this to say, "If someone sends you a quirky opening line, I wouldn't necessarily write them off right away. A lot of people on dating apps are just trying their best to stand out because they know there's so many other options to scroll through."
Kelly goes on to say that some people might spring for an eyebrow-raising comment or edgy joke in the hopes that you have a genuine reaction of laughter (or even just "WTF?") that makes you want to respond.
Says Gonsalves, "Unless humor isn't your thing, I think it's totally fine to exchange a few messages with such people to see if there's more there beyond the jokes."
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When we asked Kelly why she thinks people come up with odd opening lines to woo a potential partner, she says that, on dating apps, many people feel like they need to do whatever they can to stand out amongst all the hundreds of options and messages people might be sifting through.
Kelly says that "If you can make someone laugh, they might actually stop and respond to you even just to send an equally funny response. Then you've got a little banter going, and you can start to have an actual conversation from there."
She adds that some people also just enjoy humor and silly banter in general, so it makes sense that they'd use something like that as an opening line.
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Some gay dudes really have no shame.
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Bored Panda had one final question for Kelly: What would you suggest as the perfect opening message in the world of online dating?
Gonsalves says there's no one single message that's going to work on every single person. "We're all different in terms of what we find interesting and attractive in a potential partner, so my biggest tip is to adapt your message to whoever you're messaging."
She says a good go-to approach is to actually read through the person's profile thoroughly and respond to something they wrote, whether that's asking a follow-up question about something to spark conversation or making a joke that jumps off something they mentioned.
"And remember to have fun with it and show genuine curiosity! We can usually sense when it feels like the other person is just slogging through the process to try to get someone to respond to them, and it's not so cute." added Gonsalves.
Have you come across anything weirder than the come-ons in this list? What do you think of strange first approaches on dating apps? Interesting or just icky? Let us know in the comments!