While screen time often interferes with family life, for some, text messages have become a digital medium that helps parents communicate with their children. Though it is too one-dimensional for involved conversations, texting can give you a way to express yourself.
Amy Kossoff Smith said texting helps her get the attention of her three teenage sons, ages 13, 16, and 18. When she or her husband Mitch calls them to dinner from downstairs, they have two choices: “We can yell at the top of our lungs three to four times. Or we can pull our phones out and text them," Ms. Smith explained. "When we get into their zone, we usually get a much quicker response."
Like many parents, Ms. Smith finds it convenient to text from room to room within the house. Teens are already talking to their friends via text, making it easy for parents to communicate the same way.
Ms. Smith texts her sons with reminders that she's leaving on an errand in five minutes or that it is time to get ready for bed.
Her 13-year-old son, Noah, often texts her to get permission to go out with friends, Ms. Smith added.
The mom draws the line at mealtimes: she bans phones at the table.
And it makes sense. The 8.6% of teens who text frequently during family meals tend to have poorer family communication overall, according to a study of 1,858 parents published in the Journal of the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics.
According to Catherine Steiner-Adair, a clinical psychologist, school consultant, and author of 'The Big Disconnect,' a book on technology and family relationships, texting shouldn't be allowed to reduce face-to-face conversations or enable teens to avoid difficult issues.
She noted that painful, awkward, tough conversations between parent and child are where children learn so much about the relational dynamics that are a part of adulthood.
However, Dr. Steiner-Adair also said that children of all ages have told her there were times when they’d started a really difficult conversation in a text because that was the only way they could find the courage.
So this modern means of communication can very well bridge some gaps between us. We just need to remember that misunderstandings and humorous exchanges will arise since every generation has its own habits of interacting.
