CuriositiesNOV 28, 2022

“[Am I The Jerk] For Going On A Weekend Trip Alone That My Partner Couldn’t Afford?”

Saulė Tolstych and Konstancija Gasaitytė

Spending some quality time with your loved one is important as well as very needed. However, having in mind how much people tend to spend time working and running around doing various errands, having such quality time becomes sort of a hassle. This is when the time comes to slow down and go for a short getaway. Especially if it’s a place you have never been to, making it much more fun when you get to spend it with someone you admire. Reddit user @u/Fireheart527 decided to share the situation that she got herself into when trying to plan a short getaway to see her friends but ended up having an argument with her boyfriend. The post that received more than 4k upvotes encouraged a heated discussion between other Reddit users.

More Info: Reddit

For some people, traveling is one of the best ways to spend their free time

Image credits: flightlog (no the actual photo)

The 29-year-old woman shared that she saw an opportunity to visit some friends in another city because she found some cheap flight tickets. Knowing that the deal wasn’t going to be there for long, she also let her 31-year-old boyfriend know about it and asked him if he would like to join her. However, the man shared that at this point he wasn’t able to go with her because of his tight financial situation and the fact that his little daughter would be visiting that weekend. After hearing this, the author of the post then decided to go by herself and use this opportunity to see all of her friends who lived in that town.

Reddit user wanted to know if she was wrong for going on a weekend trip alone, leaving her boyfriend all by himself

Image credits: Fireheart527

Once the man found out that she went alone, he was really upset with her, despite her inviting him to go with her

Image credits: Fireheart527

After the man heard that she went alone, he was furious with her because he believed that this was something she did behind his back and that they should’ve discussed it. He proceeded to say that he really wanted to see that city, but she assured him that they could go together again. OP realized that her boyfriend’s actions were controlling, but she still wanted to ask others online whether she really was in the wrong for leaving her partner for the weekend.

Bored Panda contacted the Reddit user to find out more insights about the situation. She shared that she was surprised to see so many people interested in the story, revealing that “It was extraordinarily validating to see virtually every single response say I was NTA and my partner was in the wrong. I became a bit worried that people would be able to track who I am in real life from prior posts though and as a result, I did delete some past comments.”

The author of the post didn't quite understand why her boyfriend was so mad at her and found his behavior "controlling"

Image credits: Fireheart527

Many Reddit users agreed with the woman that this wasn’t normal behavior and that his actions actually seem like red flags. One of the commentators asked the woman whether she hadn't broken up with her boyfriend at that point because of her previous post where she had already complained about her partner’s behavior. The woman then revealed that in fact, it was true that they’re no longer together, but the reason why she decided to post her situation and ask for other people’s opinions was because her ex-boyfriend was telling everyone that he broke up with her because she wasn’t a team player in their relationship. This made her create the post and discuss the matter publicly. What do you think about this situation? Don’t forget to leave your thoughts in the comments down below!

When asked for her opinion about some of the thoughts shared by other commentators, the Reddit user shared that she enjoyed the comments and explained how she sees them often working well for those who decide to go public with their certain problems. “None of these people are my friend and they never have to interact with me again. Therefore, it is easy to give unfiltered thoughts. This is beneficial for people like me, where when I asked my friends in real life this question, they have to tread carefully out of fear of retaliation and me siding with my partner over them. Friends will often try and lightly suggest there is a problem instead of outright saying it since nobody wants to isolate their friend or put their friend in a situation of choosing ‘partner versus friend’,” explained the user.

Image credits: Francisco Antunes (not the actual photo)

The woman also shared some useful information on how to act if you notice your partner's behavior becoming controlling. Someone from the platform suggested making a Google document where you can “document every time a partner makes you feel sad, upset, or appears to gaslight you.” According to the original poster, this works as proof that shows that this behavior isn’t just a one-time thing. The Reddit user elaborated, revealing her own experiences in greater detail: “I know communication is key, but some partners who are controlling, they often continue to gaslight and won't back down. If the partner is a good person, then ideally they would self-reflect and change their controlling habits, but that does not happen for everyone. In my case, my partner and I did end up breaking up as I came to realize the plethora of other issues he had. It has been very validating having written notes about all of the other things he did that were controlling. This way I am able to re-visit my notes in times of doubt to ensure I made the right decision.”

Is it okay to travel alone without your partner? Should we always go on an adventure and make our significant other go with us? While some might not be a fan of solo traveling, it’s actually beneficial for a person to go and explore the world by themselves. Solo Traveler, which provides people with useful and needed tips about travelling, shares that travelling separately from your partner helps you to find yourself, explore, and learn new things that later you can share with your significant other.