Weddings are that one special occasion when everyone just has to not be stupid for a day. Or entitled. Or problematic in general.
Yet, some can’t handle smiling and nodding and saying some nice words to the newlyweds… not even for a day, in a number of cases for several hours, maybe twelve tops because they like to party too much.
No, they just have to go wild and do something that will most certainly ruin the bride’s and groom’s special day. Maybe we should be taking notes for when they themselves get married and you can deliver petty revenge?
#1
We flew to my husband's sons wedding; gave for us at least an expensive gift, matron of honor was his sister who neglected to tell us what we were expected to do. She sat us at a table completely across the dance floor and away from the head table where we sat with complete strangers. She never introduced her dad as the father of the groom, nor was he allowed to give a toast (one he had beautifully written on a piece of paper. When it came time for the dances, the new wife was too busy to dance with her father in law. She also never came to the table. However my husband's ex wife and her husband had a place of honor. The mother did a veritable bump and grind slow dance with her son that left most people feeling very embarrased, several of the strangers at our table not realizing who we were, said it well, “embarrassing and disgusting”. I looked over and saw my neglected husband who thought his son and daughter loved him had tears rolling down his cheeks. I made an excuse that dad was very tired, wished the newlyweds a happy marriage and we left. My husband was an involved dad after his divorce, never missed child support or visitation, took them on vacations, paid for many extras the kids wanted. He later told me he cried on what should have been one of his happiest moments as he realized his kids never appreciated his sacrifices for them. We are elderly and not in the best of health but we sure did our best.
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221points
#2
Bride did not want the groom's mother at the wedding because she said her wheelchair would “ruin the pictures.”
180points
#3
I went to a wedding reception in a hotel. Every one was staying over night. All the rooms were in a cluster. Liquor flowed. I went back to my room to smoke a joint near the bathroom fan. I could hear through the duct work 2 people having sex in the next room. I waited until they were done and left the room. I opened my door a crack and saw the groom-my cousin walking out with his new father-in-law.
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152points
You might think that weddings are a big deal for two main reasons: [1] it only happens “once” and [2] it’s a life event signifying the beginning of a new chapter. Both legit and serious reasons, but there’s more:
It celebrates the sanctity of marriage; it’s a declaration of love and commitment; it gives you a sense of ownership as it’s yours; it’s what will take you down memory lane in the years to come.
#4
The mother of the bride walked into her daughter’s wedding in a beautiful expensive extra-white long flowing sparkling gown that outclassed, and out-shown her daughter’s off-white, cheaper and less desirable looking wedding dress. The mother also carried a bigger bouquet, had her hair and makeup professionally done and was smiling and waving the entire time. The bride was frowning and acted like she had a pebble in her shoe. Needless to say, the mom got more attention than the bride.
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139points
#5
A friend of mine was the bridesmaid so I crashed the wedding and sat in the back. When the preacher said “if anyone has any reason why this man and this woman…. Speak now or forever hold your peace” THE BRIDE'S EX STOOD UP AND PROFESSED HIS UNDYING LOVE AND ASKED HER TO MARRY HIM INSTEAD! The look on the bride's face was priceless. The fact that her father, the bride, and the groom all restrained themselves from pummeling the guy was admirable.
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135points
#6
I was at a wedding years ago when a guy proposed to his girlfriend in front of the entire reception. I guess he didn’t get the memo that this is a faux pas of galactic proportions. The bride and the groom were surprisingly cool with it (at least on the outside) but you could tell that everyone had pretty bad second-hand embarrassment. The worst part is that the couple that got engaged never even got married, so the whole situation was for nothing.
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129points
If anything, marriage, both as a day of celebration and as a lifetime of living signifies a special bond you won’t have with anyone else. So, having someone in the wedding go full frat is a certain kind of violation of the atmosphere that should reside during the festivities.
Yet again, if anything, this ain’t your celebration day—know your place and act respectful by having fun, but not overshadowing the fun of the newlyweds. Unless you’re a groom and you cheat on the bride. Then it’s not your celebration day anymore either.
#7
At the evening meal before the bride's mother wished loudly that her daughter was marrying a doctor instead of a nurse my identical twin brother.
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127points
#8
Picture it… October in Minnesota. The leaves are changing, it’s an unseasonably cold day (about 39 degrees) and we are at a local lakeside supper club for a wedding…outdoors (good thing I ran to Target that morning for leggings to wear under my dress!) where my husband is a groomsman. A little back story, this is the bride’s third wedding and the groom’s second. The entire wedding party is comprised of individuals from the periphery of the happy couple’s lives, mostly co-workers, because their families are sick of shelling out money for weddings for these two.
Anyway, the groom had constructed on his own (he and my husband work in a woodshop) a beautiful arbor for their backdrop, kind of had a cabin/shack look to it but fitting for their event. So, the officiant begins the ceremony, I’m sitting with some of the other wives and co-workers from the shop and the groom interrupts the officiant, grabs a beer from the back side of the arbor, cracks it open and announces “I CAN’T DO THIS SOBER!” takes a big swig and then hands it off to the best man. A few other times throughout the short ceremony he snapped his fingers in the direction of the best man (who unsuccessfully tried to pass the beer down to the last guy in line to keep it away from the groom) so he could take another drink.
When the ceremony ended and we began to make our way inside for the cocktail hour the shop secretary said to me “Did you see that too or am I in a bad dream right now?” I replied that this was real life. The bride went in the back door and straight across the banquet hall and out the front door without saying a word. She got in her car and left. The bridesmaids went after her. The groom defended himself saying “It was just a joke, I thought she’d laugh!” The bridesmaids went after her (she just went back to their home about a mile away) and they convinced her to come back. She was threatening to shred their marriage license instead of filing it. I don’t blame her one bit! Six years later they are married and doing well, but yowza what a way to start your marriage!!
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122points
#9
My fiance’s sister got married a few years back. The music she played while she was walking down the aisle was the Imperial Death March from Star Wars. You know, Darth Vader’s entrance.
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113points
With that said, let’s talk about wedding etiquette. You already probably understood the first rule: the wedding isn’t about you. It’s about celebrating the unity of the newlyweds. Or whatever things the newlyweds say they’re celebrating.
Naturally, this also means no wearing white, no complaining about anything, and no toasting unless instructed otherwise.
#10
I have to - sadly - nominate myself as the ‘You gotta be kidding me' culprit.
A Royal Marine asked me to sing at a wedding. One of his Company was the groom. The plan was that I would start singing when the bride entered the church. I was to be out of sight the whole time — standing in a side porch. I was given a walkie-talkie headset so that I could get the signal for when she arrived. Neil, the Royal Marine, was standing with me.
Neil had no time for the bride, me neither. The pair of us in the porch, he reminded me none of the groom's friends wanted them to get married.
I agreed, 'Who would want to marry her, seriously? She's a fantasist. Saying she was volunteering with orphans when she was actually in rehab. And she supposedly modeled for Armani…with that nose!' I went on. 'How much did this bash cost? She's the classic type who daddy is always paying for. Schools, ponies, ballet, rehab for her eating disorder; the elaborate wedding to her first husband, another stint in rehab for the breakdown she had when her husband was caught fooling around with their 18-year-old male neighbour…'
The vicar hurried out into the porch and shushed me. The sound technician had messed up, and fed my walkie-talkie headset through the pulpit microphone channel.
Every word I'd said had come loud and clear out of speakers above the altar
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112points
#11
It was an Orthodox Church wedding, where bride and groom walk around the altar with their hands tied and candles and crowns… all in all very picturesque. After the church wedding, the ceremony continued at groom’s paternal home, huge house and the yard so heavily decorated with flowers that it was hard to breathe. Apparently, there were several customs for bride to manage, before entering the house. One of them was that she should lift the youngest child on the groom’s side (which happened to be his sister’s baby boy), kiss him and turn him around couple of times for everyone to see, so “they would have a lot of children as beautiful and healthy as that one”.
So, the bride lifted the baby, but baby didn’t like it, at all. He kept kicking and screaming while she kissed him and then, there was the smell. Immediately, everyone knew what happened, but no one wanted to say a thing. To hurry the thing and be able to return the boy to his mother for change, bride turned the baby few times, but it was maybe too fast… baby made the face, then threw up all over her wedding dress.
Did I mention that bride was pregnant? She made a face as well, quickly handled the boy to her new husband and turned, throwing up on the side of the pavement, then starting to sway. Chair was quickly provided and people went to cooling her down, unbuttoning her dress to let her breathe and so on. It was the surreal sight. But the last time I heard of them, they were still happily married with three children of their own, so maybe it was lucky.
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108points
#12
A bridesmaid arranged her own spotlight dance with the groom. The DJ announced them, and the groom politely met her on floor. The chosen song, mystifyingly, was “Hopelessly Devoted” from the movie Grease.
If you don’t know the film, it’s an imploring ballad about heartbreak.
Then they slow-danced, the groom smiling tolerantly while she clung to him.
And wept.
Not like “eyes glistening with emotion.” Her face crumpled up, and she cried, clasping his shoulders like she needed support. For the duration of the song.
I was at the singles table with a bunch of their friends I didn’t know, who also were goggling at the spectacle. I asked, “…Is that Rob’s sister?”
Wordlessly they shook their heads NO. And not his cousin or former babysitter either. She was a childhood friend—now a mutual friend of the couple—who had always had an unrequited love for the groom.
Probably I will never know if the couple approved the dedication in advance, or if she used her bridesmaid status to strong-arm the DJ and caught them off-guard. But they could not have anticipated that uncomfortable scene.
It was the bridesmaid’s masochistic farewell, played out for a captive audience.
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106points
It goes without saying, don’t go overboard with the drinks either. Alcohol does funny things to the mind and it might only be funny to you once something gets said or done that the guests or the bride or groom don’t approve of.
And if there’s self-control, everything else should follow suit. Staying off social media and off your phone in general, not pestering the newlyweds during key moments and not being too early or too late are a bonus in terms of etiquette.
#13
This one is pretty mild compared to the others I’ve read.
It’s a tradition in our family (and others) to decorate the car of the bride/groom. At one cousin’s wedding, they went one step further. And it backfired. They filled up the back seat with trash and hid another cousin (aged 7) underneath it. She was supposed to pop up a mile or so down the road and surprise them, but since we put her back there in advance, she fell asleep. We figured something was wrong when they didn’t immediately come back. No cell phone back in those days either. She woke up about 2 hours later! Their trip to bring her back didn’t make them too happy!
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100points
#14
My husband and I flew across country to attend his oldest son’s wedding a few years ago. The couple were married at the same church where her parents wed. The 4-page wedding program included 2 photos, neither of which featured the bride and groom, but of her parents on their wedding day. Earlier that day, the bride, her mother, both of her grandmothers and all 14 (!) bridesmaids spent the day in a hotel suite being pampered, but the groom’s mother, grandmother and I were not invited. After the ceremony, we stayed behind to have our pictures taken. That took 1 1/2 hours, but the groom’s family (us) were only included in 2 poses.
Afterwards, we went to the reception with about 300 other people. The bride’s parents paid for the reception which featured 6 open bars and a full dinner. They also paid to rent out an entire art museum for the event, lease a municipal parking lot for the overflow of guests and paid for two city buses to shuttle people back and forth. While I certainly appreciate how much money they must have spent, I still think it was inappropriate that when the time came, her parents “stole” the honor of the first dance. It also turned out to be the bride’s mother’s birthday, which she celebrated by opening presents at her table while we were seated for dinner. It just seemed like the evening was more about their largesse than it was about the newlyweds. And to add insult to injury, we’ve never seen a single photo from that day.
99points
#15
The mother of the groom drove around the outdoor venue screaming “don’t marry that b**ch!” I was shocked but apparently half the guests expected this as the mother hadn’t been invited. Talking over her screams was somewhat difficult but I did. I refuse to allow anyone to destroy a wedding on my watch. Such outbursts are selfish. The mother was effectively cut out of her sons life with her idiotic antics. The couple have two children and are living happily ever after. People need to understand that a wedding isn’t about them or what they want. A wedding is about the couple and their love story.
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98points
Another very important thing to note when it comes to ruining someone’s special day is that they paid very good money to make it happen. Imagine having to spend an average of $16,000 to over $46,000 per wedding, depending on the state. So, would you want someone to come over and make that much money go to waste with whatever you thought was a good idea in your drunken stupor? Stop it!
#16
My best friend, (at the time), wore a very similar dress as me, (the bride), at the wedding reception. Same colour too! Her hair was even the same style!!!
She was going around all the tables on my husbands side and introducing herself to everyone, like she was the bride.
My friends and family all told me what she was doing, so to avoid any drama, I ignored her the whole night. I gave her no attention and she left the venue early with her husband
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97points
#17
I worked in event planning and coordination for close to 10 years, there is not enough space on the internet for me to tell you the stupid things I have seen. The best one was someone demanding to bring children to a black tie event. That was a fun one because it wasn’t even someone close to the bride or the groom it was some shirt tail relatives date who thought her children deserved to be at the reception even though the wedding couple had rented a large suite and hired nannies to watch after any children that were there including their own! I helped plan both events and honestly I think the kids had more fun! There were Disney movies, video games and lots of junk food in the suite as opposed to a stuffy sit down formal dinner with fancy food, 12 forks and stuffy boring speeches that went on FOREVER. Said guest was put out and complained to anyone that would listen about how unfair it was that her little darlings weren’t allowed to be there. Finally the father of the groom had enough (and possible a scotch or 3) and told her off. She spent most of the rest of the nigh pouting in a corner. On a happier note during my last check on the kids party her children were having a BLAST playing and eating junk!
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92points
#18
a friend from high school was getting married to his girlfriend from college, who was a small-sized person (thin and short)
a woman who had also been to high school with us and had been a good friend of the groom for years gave a toast and said very seriously to him and all attendees: “remember that poison also comes in small bottles”
we were all astounded
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87points
Now, instead of being a buzzkill, you can be a good friend and offer to help with the various (and numerous) aspects of the wedding to lift at least some of the burden from the shoulders of the newlyweds.
And it doesn’t have to be anything too committing: go dress shopping with the bride, keep her positive before her big day (because anxiety and fear might kick in) and, ultimately, show up for the wedding. Your face might just be what the newlyweds need.
#19
[Groom] hooked up with the maid of honor before and after. It was kinda like that moment he cried because of seeing the maid of honor in the dress and not the wife.
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85points
#20
When an American friend of mine got married in Thailand, he married a Buddhist woman. The wedding ceremony involved monks chanting while the betrothed kneeled before them. The chanting was going along just fine when my friend interrupted the monks by asking very loudly if they would be finished soon. This was a major insult to the monks and also extremely embarrassing to his bride.
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84points