A wedding is a celebration of love and commitment but sometimes not everyone present thinks the couple will live happily ever after. While the guests are all boozed up and having a good time, the staff who provide the fun see everything that's going on, and some of the details apparently point to a breakup of the newlyweds.
Just a few days ago, Reddit user Justhearmeoit posted a question on the platform, asking, "People that work in the wedding industry, have you ever seen a couple and immediately thought 'this ends in divorce?' Why?" Their call was immediately answered.
From arguments over money to hooking up with someone else, here are some of the most upvoted answers.
#1
All the f**king time. You know how they say 50% of weddings end in divorce? I can pretty much predetermine who that 50% are going to be with about 98% accuracy.
I bake wedding cakes for a living. I own my own bakery, but have also worked in a country club kitchen, doing basically the same thing + other pastry chef duties day of weddings. I've seen them both for the tasting/design consultation, and on their wedding day. I see how they interact when they're just together, but also when under stress of the big day. I've seen everything. Lots of cheating, lots of drunks, lots of terrible mothers.
Once had a Mama's boy who ignored his wife when they were supposed to be having their cake tasting to cuddle their mother and hand feed her cake. His mother was NOT supposed to be there, and you could tell the bride was pissed. By the end of it he had kissed his mother on the lips multiple times. Divorce.
Have seen a woman b**** and complain at everything her fiancé said. Any suggestions he had for what he liked resulted in him being called stupid. Anytime she'd open her mouth he'd cower and flinch. Their cake actually got canceled like a month before the wedding, so we didn't get anything but the deposit even though we'd started baking it. First time I've lost out on money and I've been relieved.
Once had this arrogant [jerk] Turkish guy marrying into this Bangladeshi family. Bride was sweet, about 10 years older than him, and came from a fairly well off family. Generally got the impression that this being a Turk/South Asian marriage was kind of a big deal, even though they're both Muslim, but since she was 30-something they wanted her to get married so they allowed it.
Guy complains about everything during the planning process, especially over them not serving alcohol. Is generally a [jerk] to us, but is just straight up cruel to her. like at one point when we were meeting I asked after her wedding dress, because south asian wedding dresses are gorgeous. She's showing me this amazing dress and he says straight up 'I don't know what she picked that one, she looks fat and old in it. every other woman is going to be more beautiful than her one her wedding day.' He then shows me this dress he picked out, which isn't traditional south asian style at all, and is very western and very fugly and basically makes the model in the picture look naked it's so sheer. When she says something about how no mosque would let her in dressed like that and her traditions are important, he just sneered and said she should 'get over it' and her traditions weren't that important. Divorce red flag.
Found out later they didn't last a day. From the way the servers tell it, midway through the reception, guy raises his hand to his new bride when she asked him a question about being drunk and she flinched and turned away, protecting her face. He grabs her by the arm and rips her around, pissed. Her mother and aunt were standing three feet from her and lost their f**king minds, realizing what must've been happening there. His response when Mom started to lose her s**t on him was to hit the mother. So in the middle of this very big, 600+ person Bangladeshi wedding, this 20-something outsider dickhead no one wanted her to marry anyway smacked a well respected woman in their community. There was a brawl, the cops were called, marriage was annulled.
310points
Interestingly, the divorce rate in the US has been steadily decreasing since the early 90s. Nonetheless, it's interesting to learn about the factors that contribute to people splitting up, whether it's a lack of support from family and friends or an extramarital affair.
In 2019, the INSIDER Data team analyzed a study done by the National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI), which polled 52 people (31 women and 21 men), who had been involved with PREP, a "prevention and relationship enhancement program" that focused on teaching couples communication and conflict resolution skills.
The course took place before the couples tied the knot, but the study surveyed individuals who ended up divorced, 14 years after PREP took place. It aimed to glean information on why their marriage had failed, and whether it had been a combination of factors, or due to a "final straw."
#2
Photographing the groom and you see his eyes light up when a guest arrives. You look over and it’s a cute woman in a short dress. He smiles, walks up to the woman, picks her up and swings her in his arms.
Best smile I captured of the groom all day. Marriage didn’t last 6 months from what I’ve heard.
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266points
Little or no premarital education and religious differences — 13.3%. Even though all those surveyed had participated in PREP, for some it still wasn't enough. "I probably wish that we would have had more premarital counseling and had somebody tell us we should not be getting married," one participant said. Another added that, while the course was helpful in communication, it wasn't realistic about the growth of marriage. "Premarital counseling teaches you how to get along, and that you should communicate, but it doesn't really talk about the phases of a marriage over time."
As for religious differences, 69% of married people say that their spouse shares their religion, according to a Pew Center survey. And on average, per Fox News and according to the book "Til Faith Do Us Part: How Interfaith Marriage is Transforming America," couples in interfaith marriages are less happy than those in same-faith marriages.
#3
I worked fine dining/catering for over 20 years so Iʻve worked lots of weddings and receptions. I once heard a bride at the reception during the toasts say that she actually thought she was asking out the grooms twin brother on their first date and that might actually be cute except she ...just kept going on. How the twin was more compatible, etc. then she ended the toast with "well...as nice as you are youʻll make a great first husband". I was walking past the camera man at that time and you can hear me on tape saying " did you get that? Tell me you got that".
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266points
Lack of support from family — 17.3%. According to a 26-year longitudinal study that looked at 373 couples, a husband having a close relationship with his wife's family decreased the risk of their divorce by 20%. However, a wife having a close relationship with her husband's family increased the risk of divorce. According to the study's researcher, psychologist and professor Terri Orbuch, "Wives should maintain boundaries with their in-laws, and husbands should remember to take care of their in-laws and treat them as important."
#4
Not sure if this belongs here, since I'm really sure that they got divorced after, but anyway:
I was helping out at my parents restaurant where a huge wedding party was hosted. I was busy serving drinks and suddenly loud yelling and screaming startet right behind me. Turns out the bride had somehow found out that the groom had hooked up with her sister right before the wedding ceremony (and apparently on a few occasions before) and in her anger she stabbed him in the chest with a dinner fork several times.
We had to call an ambulance and the police. It was like hell
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261points
Substance abuse — 34.6%. At least one partner in 50% of the former couples surveyed by the NCBI cited substance abuse as an issue: 34.6% of individuals overall did, but in only 33.3% of cases, both partners agree that substance abuse was to blame for their divorce. "He never admitted that he even drank. It wasn't me against him. It was me against him and the disease," one participant said. Of those who indicated their marriage indeed had a "final straw," 12.1% reported it was because of substance abuse.
#5
At a wedding when the “I do’s” came, the groom said, “I guess”.
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261points
Too much conflict and arguing — 57.7%. Survey participants revealed that they didn't resovle their conflicts calmly or effectively, and it only got worse over time.
They reported that "communication problems increased in frequency and intensity throughout their marriages, which at times seemed to coincide with lost feelings of positive connections and mutual support." One participant concluded, "I got frustrated [with] arguing too much."
#6
When the bride and groom argued over why the grooms mother shouldn’t get all money given to them on their wedding day. Ya that was a red flag.
230points
#7
I perform ceremonies as an officiant, and know other officiants. The worst (IMHO) are the weddings that are just a bad idea. The couple is young, inexperienced, and selfish. I mean, even courthouse weddings can last decades, but if you have a wedding that is clearly not planned out, they are often not though out as well. Weddings that are rebellious as a "f**k you daddy, I am 19 and marry who I want!" I give about 2 years, especially if the bride and groom are out of sync with one another, or one just looks like "this was the other's idea primarily."
Oddly enough, weddings with cheesy themes (Star Wars, Elvis, etc) last longer than the traditional styles. I have theories on that, but don't have enough data that's not anecdotal to back it up. But I think casual weddings where everyone is relaxed, happy, and having a good time because the wedding is about celebrating rather than ceremony will last the longest.
A sense of humor helps. If both the bride and groom are relaxed and silly with one another, those last the longest.
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226points
#8
It was the third time the bride had hired me and all the guys had been carbon copies.
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223points
#9
Ugh I photographed this awful couple. She was a sour cow, barely cracked a smile and all day she was following him round saying "Maaaark! Get my shoes! Maaaark! Where's my bag? Maaaark!" He looked completely miserable and barely spoke all day. At one point we asked them to kiss for a photo and she said "Oh, we're not that kind of couple."
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217points
#10
Night before the wedding, the bride-to-be tried to sleep with me on her stag night, crying on my shoulder she wasn't ready for marriage.
Even my 18 year old hormonal brain did a big NOPE there. They lasted a year.
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184points
#11
I worked at a hotel in the kitchen, we did a trashy wedding where the cake was brought in from walmart, groom was caught making out with a bridesmaid in a conference room and we saw the bride throw her ring into a storm drain across the street.
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183points
#12
They had a big fight the night before the wedding and were considering calling it off. Until the bride showed up 30 minutes before the ceremony, no one was sure if she would be there at all. The groom danced with his MOM more times than he did with the bride. The bride was snippy and nitpicky with the staff all night. The word "annullment" was cast around and I hope to god they went through with it the next day because holy s**t.
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170points
#13
I’m a photographer and I’ve shot 3 weddings bc I hate them and they are not for me. Bless you guys who do it, but it’s too much work and drama for me, and not worth the money. Anyway, one of the weddings, the groom called the bride unattractive (she was stunning and used to model, was maybe a size 2, and he was cute, but generic cute), he kept taking shots of vodka with his boys, and asked for a full on photo shoot with his mom. He was definitely a mama’s boy, bc mom was hovering, but you know it’s bad when mom suggests that he maybe take some photos with his wife. He told me to stfu every time I redirected, so after the 3rd time that happened (and he flashed me his junk?), I started packing up. When he started yelling at me, I just told him no one talks to me like that, and I’d send them a refund. I knew right then that it wouldn’t last. He started crying and said he’d behave. He did, but it didn’t matter bc 2 weeks later the marriage was annulled. No one wanted the photos. I was paid in full for photos no one wanted. Bride’s dad had paid me, and tipped me well too. When I offered to refund him half anyway, he said the bride knew when the groom yelled at me and cried that it wasn’t going to work, so I earned it. I guess the whole fam was trying to get them to call it off.
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170points
#14
I work and n a hotel. I came in one night to find the wedding was already wrapped up (it was supposed to go until 1 AM and it was 11 PM) because the wedding couple had a fight and she went home with mom.
At another one they had a huge rehearsal dinner fight which spilled out into the lobby. Everyone in the lobby found out that she hated his parents, she was pregnant and she had no idea who the father was, and a few other things. Half the guest list packed up and checked out the next day. They still got married.
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168points
#15
Heard from a friend who did calligraphy that a bride came to get wedding invites and the usual wording of 'bride mum and dad and groom mum and dad invite you to the wedding of bride and groom" , bride didn't want grooms parents names on the invite. My mate did an invite mock-up called the couple for a check and the groom lost it, because grooms parents were the ones paying for most of the wedding. They didn't need any invites.
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162points
#16
Worked wedding receptions, here are some favorites:
Bride started stripping on the table while the groom was outside.
Bride and best man [were found] in a closet.
Bride lost her ring less that 3 hours after being married.
Mother of the groom lit the table on fire because she didnt like the bride or her family.
Groom was passed out drunk less than 30 mins into the reception. He pregamed in the limo. Our bartender refused to serve him when he arrived. Groomsmen loaded him back into the limo to sleep it off and he didnt come back that night.
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157points
#17
I was a wedding planner for almost a decade and saw these types of couples regularly. My biggest key indicator for this was whether they cared more about the wedding day than actually being married to one another.
For example, I remember one couple who really wanted an over-the-top wedding that would be good enough to be featured in a popular luxury wedding magazine. They spared no expense. They became so obsessed with this that they were even choosing members of their bridal party based on their looks rather than their relationship with them. The bride had 2 brothers, one brother looked like a model for Hugo Boss and her other brother looked a bit like fat Thor. Well, only the "hot" brother was selected to be a groomsman. Things like this caused a lot of tension between family members and fights between the couple. It was awkward a lot of the time. I knew for sure this couple wouldn't make it for long.
Interestingly enough, the couple divorced a week before their wedding was featured in that luxury bridal magazine.
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155points
#18
I've told this story before but I was working as a cook at a golf course and, at one of the weddings we catered, the bride got incredibly drunk and kept sitting in the laps of all the male guests and flirting with them pretty heavily. I think she made out with one of them too IIRC. Her new husband just sat at the head table by himself looking more and more like a guy who made a $30,000 mistake.
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144points
#19
Not actually in the industry but i have helped out a friend with a few weddings. Two of the weddings i could just tell they weren't going to make it. The first wedding the bride and groom hardly talked the entire wedding. It was like they had nothing in common. And then later the groom pretty much f**ks off half way through and went home because i quote "he was tired". So he just left his bride having to take pictures with the wedding guests on her own. He never came back that evening so she had to greet everyone off etc. Funny enough about a year later i heard they're filing for divorce.
Another time was actually last summer. Just before the wedding speeches the groom went go hang out with his friends for like half an hour leaving the bride sitting there alone and delaying the speeches. Then right after the bride and groom cut the cake he once again went to go hang out with his friends and abandoned his wife. So she was left alone having to mingle with all the guests and he made no interaction with her side of the guests. He stuck with his friends the rest of the evening. His wife basically had to go and beg him to come and take more wedding pictures. At one point in the evening he actually went for a drive with his friends for about an hour and his wife had no idea where he was. I mean i get wanting to mingle with your friends at your wedding but to not even mingle with your wife's family or friends on your wedding day seems quite rude.
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132points
#20
Many years ago I had a side hustle doing cakes and would often get orders for wedding cakes. Long story short, the bride to be threw a full-fledged stompy-footed tantrum, locking herself in my bathroom and refused to come out because the groom was "unreasonably insisting" on having a say in what the cake flavour was going to be. Like, I'd say through the door, "Get out of my bathroom!" and all I'd get was a whiny defiant little "NoooOooooooOooooooooO!!!!!!" IIRC she was about 22.
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119points