"That's It, I'm Wedding Shaming": 40 Times People Just Had To Shame These Weddings Online (New Posts)

No wedding has gone without at least a tiny drop of drama. This is because people put the pressure on themselves a little too much, until for many brides and grooms, it becomes unbearable.

To find out more about navigating your perfect day in a way that doesn’t cost all your nerves, Bored Panda previously spoke with Jen Glantz, the founder of Bridesmaid for Hire and The Newlywed Card Game, a 3x best-selling author, a voice of You’re Not Getting Any Younger podcast, and the brains behind Jen & Juice coaching, digital courses, & the Pick-Me-Up newsletter.

It turns out that conflict and drama starts as early as the bridal party. “That's because weddings are filled with decisions, pop-up challenges, and a lot of emotions. When you bring your friends and family into that equation and ask them to stand by your side, while also giving them a to-do list of things you expect them to do during your wedding adventure, it can bring a level of intensity that didn't exist before the wedding within that relationship,” Glentz explained.

A lot of conflicts, however, could be avoided with better communication and slightly lower expectations, Glantz argues. “So much can be avoided if the person getting married clearly states what they want from their bridal party and the people in the bridal party openly share what they are able and willing to do before the wedding process even starts,” she told us in a previous interview.

But no matter how much drama weddings may have, you may wonder if it’s still okay to shame these events and the people behind them. After all, are wedding shaming groups considered to have some form of hate that may be harmful to their targets?

Well, we previously asked that question to Darlene Lancer, who is a therapist, relationship & NPD expert, and the author of "Codependency for Dummies." Lancer explained that according to the FBI, “hate groups” direct their hatred against a particular race, religion, gender, ethnic group or people of a particular sexual orientation. They investigate these hate groups to protect democracy and individual liberty. “So defined, wedding haters and shamers are not members of a ‘hate group,’” she said.

Having said that, Lancer explained that blaming and shaming often is done by people with low self-esteem and who carry shame themselves. “They shame others to project and rid themselves of the shame they have inside, which is often hidden and unconscious. Projection is a defense that works for them. It may be fueled by anger and envy because of the widening discrepancy between classes of haves and have-nots. Aggression and envy are also defenses to shame.”

“Ironically, public displays of extravagant and ostentatious weddings may also be fueled by shame where the emphasis is on impressing other people of the family’s wealth and status,” a therapist said. This is to compensate for not feeling adequate or sufficiently respected, she concluded.