30 "They're Not Gonna Last Long" Moments Shared By Wedding Photographers

I think my first clue was when the bride showed up with some bad make-up clearly trying to cover her black eye, while most of the rest of the family seemed far more into the free food and booze than the wedding itself. Oh yeah, never paid me either. Classy people.

Back when I was in college, I worked a few weddings for a Christian church near my school. The congregation was very god fearing people that you only see in cult movies and don’t expect to actually exist irl. Two of the couples live in my head rent free to this day.

While doing the getting ready photos, the videographer did pre wedding interviews with the bride and groom and asked questions like “why are you getting married?” “When did you know he/she was the one?” Etc.

Couple #1: Both admitted they just wanted to have sex, but were afraid of going to hell. They literally got married just to have sex. I believe they lasted 7 months.

Couple #2: Because getting married was “the next logical step” and it’s “just what people do”. They had dated for 2 years, never lived together, never had sex, just “dated”. I put dated in quotes because I have more intimate relationships with platonic friends than they had. Because they didn’t break up, they just felt compelled to get married, like it was part of a routine. They ended up having a kid, but only lasted 2 years together.

EDIT:

Just to add one more that I blocked from my memory. I photographed a wedding for a couple named Ben and Lorraine. They actually seemed like a fun nice couple except Ben just wanted to be a dad and Lorraine definitely gave off “fun aunt” vibes. She ended up getting pregnant about 6 months after the wedding. I bumped into Lorraine at a mutual friend’s baby shower about 6 or 7 months after she gave birth. She ended up sitting with me and my cousin even though she was assigned to sit at a different table. While the momma to be was opening presents Lorraine said, “you know how they say you instantly fall in love your child when you become a mom? That’s not true. I love my dog more than I love my baby.” My jaw dropped. I like to tell myself she was likely suffering from PPD, but I don’t know. I just felt so bad for Ben in that moment. They divorced when the baby was 18 months old. He got custody.

I did a wedding for an acquaintance and her husband. Day goes great, I’m really happy with almost everything I took, everyone was feeling it and having fun. But, (and this is one of the reasons I quit photography) the bride sees some of the photos I had sent her, and immediately is calling me. “I need you to do the editing magic and make me look skinny, John was saying I was going to look too fat in my dress and wanted me to lose weight but I knew you could just edit it, so haha I didn’t”. So I have to explain (this is like 2010) I can only photoshop so much, I.e. I can make you look a tad slimmer in certain photos without making it noticeable. But I can’t do it to all of them, and if I was to, the editing would be noticeable, and I will have to charge you a lot of money to edit you in all the photos. She tried to convince me to edit hundreds of photos for a couple hundred bux, and I have other jobs going and had given them a great deal already so explained I couldn’t. So she insist I do at least some of her main pics, I tell her when people see the rest of the pics they will see the difference, she didn’t care and insisted more. So I do, and a couple weeks later when I thought it was all done and history calls me and leaves me a voicemail of how I ruined her wedding, her new husband is upset at how she looks in the pics and keeps making remarks about her weight. So didn’t seem like they were in a great place from the get go.

I actually have a story for this!! Years ago I got into amateur photography and a friend of the family invited me and my camera to come to a wedding. I was basically there to get candids, nothing super formal (that was for the main photographer); I was dressed in all black like the wait staff so kinda blended into the background.

Anyway, since I was practically invisible, I got to hear ALL the tea: apparently the bride had hooked up w a stripper during her bachelorette and never told the groom. Of course ALL the bridesmaids knew, and it sounded like at least a couple of their SOs did too. Worst part tho? He was looking at her like she hung the moon and was his entire world; she was deadpan through the entire ceremony and hung out w her girlfriends during practically the whole reception. When it came time for cake, he fed her nicely and she smeared it across his face, cackling the whole time (the only time I saw her smile at him during the ceremony/reception).

I knew it wouldn’t last, although they weren’t my friend group. Ended up running into that photographer friend a few years later and asked, apparently the bride had gotten pregnant before the wedding and it was pretty much a shotgun wedding. Baby was born, then they split up like immediately after. Shocker.

Asked the groom in a recorded interview why he asked her to marry him and he said, "The pressure to get married". They lasted less than 2 months. Hadnt even finished the video and they were over.

While shooting video, I attached a microphone to the groom for audio and proceeded to prepare for the ceremony. Just as I was about to adjust my audio settings, the groom stepped into another room with a friend. As I put on my headphones, I overheard the groom confiding in his friend, describing the wedding as a "wedding of convenience" and reassuring them not to be concerned about what would happen in their relationship.

The engagement session.

The couple was in from out of town because she had just taken the bar exam to become a lawyer. At the end of the session, I gave them a prompt to share with each other what they were proud of each other for. He couldn't think of a single thing.

Somehow they still got married, complete with: the groom drinking 11 IPAs + several shots before the ceremony, mother of the bride so drunk for family photos she pretended to strip, and the groom and all the groomsmen wearing camo hats with neon orange letters that said 'titties and beer.' For the entire wedding day. Including sunset couples photos where he refused to do anything I suggested, nearly spat chew right on my feet, kept farting on purpose, and loudly complained about how all he wanted was to go have sex.

I had a young lady hire me for her wedding. I met her fiancé and he had a cast on his right hand. Didn’t think too much about it. She later told me he had gotten mad at her and punched the hood of his car. I wanted to refund her money and tell her to run away as fast as possible. They were divorced before I could deliver their pictures to them.

Groom didn't want to participate in any wedding pictures after the ceremony.

I believe he was more interested in drinking beers with his buddies.

I don't think they lasted a year.

The groom-to-be got drunk at a house party the night before the engagement shoot. He did not make the shoot but the bride did, we just did a solo shoot instead.