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Bored Panda reached out to Bowlingcabbages who kindly agreed to tell us what inspired them to start this online thread, which now has more than 650 contributions.
What pushed them to ask this question online was the terrible weddings they witnessed themselves.
"I've been a guest at weddings where the couples were clearly a match made in hell, which made me wonder what each party's life would be like if the weddings never happened to begin with.
Once, a groom threatened to cancel the wedding (he had anger issues and was arguing with the bride). The bride was in tears but acted like nothing happened during the ceremony itself. Their family members had to cajole both parties.
It was a shotgun wedding, as having children before marriage is still considered taboo in Asian culture.
They divorced after a harrowing few years because he discovered her cheating.
Separately, I share mutuals with other people whose friends are definitely getting married, not out of love but out of fear of embarrassment. It's terrible."
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We were also curious to know if the original poster would ever object to a wedding themselves (for good reasons).
They told us, "I usually share my concerns about the relationship privately, but I have learned that it's, unfortunately, better for some people to learn things the difficult way.
I have had friends whose exes made them choose between us, and they ended up begging the exes to keep their friendship with me. It's not exactly a compliment since I'd expect more loyalty in a friendship.
So probably not, UNLESS there is a huge mitigating factor that either the bride or groom should be made aware of and there isn't enough time to inform them privately, or if I've been given blessings by the victim to do so."
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Fortunately, the phrase “speak now or forever hold your peace” is rarely used in wedding ceremonies nowadays. Which raises the question why was it incorporated in the first place?
Like many Western wedding traditions, this question comes from Christianity and European customs. In fact, the phrase is a shortened version of a longer sentence “Should anyone present know of any reason that this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.” Try saying that in one breath.
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It originated in Medieval times when communication between areas was slow and tricky and record-keeping was anything but orderly. That’s why the Christian Church initiated the phrase to give some time for any legal issues in matrimony to appear.
This includes information like the bride or groom being already married, related, underage, or unbaptized. Because people are creatures of habit, this tradition has been included in ceremonies for generations and is still used to this day.
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In case you’re wondering, can the couple get married if someone actually says, “I object" - they absolutely can. The only obstacle to getting legally married would be if they are already married or a close relative.
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