81 Wedding Moments In Which People Realized That The Marriage Wasn’t Going To Last Long

As the bride and groom were leaving the ceremony, he refused to take her hand multiple times down the aisle. Oh and before that, during the first kiss as husband and wife, he said “a hug will do; my grandma is here”.

When the groom mentioned something about the bride’s ‘stinky farts’ in his vows.

I was the bride.

The groom’s mom kissed the groom on the lips, for like minutes, while the bride stood next to them awkwardly. And no this was not some regional tradition, it was not normal, all the guest were in shock.

Cousin's wedding. Big, expensive ceremony and reception at a fancy country club on Long Island because they wanted a "Great Gatsby" themed wedding. I don't know why they felt that story leant itself to a celebration of love, all I know is that I got yelled at every time I pointed out that this seemed like a bad omen. Turns out, it was just an excuse to create an ostentatious event, which, in my experience, doesn't bode well for the longevity of a marriage. So, it's not looking good from the jump.

Cut to their vows, which they wrote themselves. My cousin gets up and starts talking about how the groom seems to like her dumb jokes and how much they both love pumpkin spice, so naturally they should get married.

I turn to my wife and say, "I give 'em six months if that's all she's got." Get a smack on the shoulder.

Then the groom's turn comes. He starts talking about how often they make each other laugh and *how much they both like pumpkin spice.* Despite writing their vows in isolation...they both came to the same conclusion that bad jokes and pumpkin spice were all they had.

I said, "Nevermind. Three months."

They were divorced two months later. Turns out they'd never discussed how they'd handle money. Or whether they wanted kids. Or literally anything substantive over the course of their several-year relationship. And they came down on opposite sides of every single issue.

A mutual fondness for pumpkin spice isn't enough, it turns out.

They had a “who knows their partner better?” game.
They both failed every question. Even the dog's name.

The groomsmen got into a food fight with the wedding cake, interrupting the groom feeding the bride. He beaned the groom on the head with the couples cake topper sculpture.
The groom was so drunk he was barely upright, pivoting from feeding the bride to hurling cake, then doing a literal faceplant on the ground after slipping on cake and blood from his cake topper head injury bleeding profusely.
The bride was mortified, her very expensive gown covered in very expensive fondant with no top for the year anniversary celebration.
An ambulance took the groom and any hope of a functional marriage away.
The marriage was annuled the next week.
The father of the bride sued the groom for the wedding costs, getting back some of the loss.

It's the cake smash for me. I'm a wedding photographer and I would say the intensity in which a bride and groom shove cake in each other faces, directly correlates to how long I think they'll last. I understand this is not the case for everyone... don't come for me if you and your spouse did this and are happily married 147 years later.

Wedding photographer with 20 years experience here… One that stands out was when the bride's parents speech included the line regarding the groom: “You weren’t who we envisioned for our daughter, but you have children together so I guess we’re stuck with you.”.

When the bride got dressed up incredibly cute with great makeup and dress and the groom could barely put on a white shirt and cargo shorts. Groom had greasy noticeably unwashed hair too- when normally he didn't. Just seemed like one person cared way more about the whole event....and that ended up being true.

The groom insisted that the wedding needed to be in Latin (some Christian thing) The vows he wrote mentioned that the woman’s place is in the home and to be subservient to him. Apparently that was a surprise to her as she was a hospice nurse with a great career. The look of disgust on her face as he spoke definitely told us what she was thinking. Didn’t last a year.

Groom got drunk and smashed a glass on the bride’s head (no bad injuries except from when he got a huge beatdown from her brother and father).

Bride was crying during vows but not from joy, just pure what am I doing energy.

During the speeches the groom said "And we're going to have LOTS OF BABIES!" ... and the bride's face just.. froze.

I posted this story some place else. My wife and I were invited to a neighbors wedding. We didn't know the bride at all but we knew the groom and he's a pretty good guy. At the reception after the wedding the bride was making her way from table to table trying to visit with everyone. My wife and I were sitting with the grooms family. The bride sat down and the grooms mom introduced us to her. She was winded from dancing and partying but she was very critical of the facilities staff.
She said clear enough for the grooms mom to hear " things are going to be different at my next wedding!" You could have heard a pin drop!

A childhood friend of mine grew up in a conservative home, and ber family kept hounding her about being unmarried at 30. So, as these things tend to work, she married the first person who offered.


She was given exactly 0% input over the wedding. Even her dress was obviously not her style, and she was visibly uncomfortable in it.


To make things worse, the groom was very bothered by the fact the reception started a bit late, because he had a flight to catch later that night. With his friends. Without her.


It only got worse from there. She fled after 9 months. He also gave her trouble during the divorce process, going "missing" for a few months, before being tracked down.


Poor woman. She deserved so much better.

So the bride had prepared a dance with her bridesmaids. A really fun and sweet dance, really, not one of those cringe ones you see sometimes. While they were dancing, the groom kept burying his face in shame and mockingly joke with the groomsmen. They got divorced four months later.

Oh let’s see… MANY moments…
- the caterers ran out of food halfway through serving guests (turns out the groom had scaled the order down behind the bride’s back because he thought it cost too much)
- groom got super drunk
- bride’s family is Hawaiian and her mother had leis shipped from Hawai’i which included a gorgeous maile lei for the groom. At the end of the night he had lost it/thrown it in the hotel pool.
- next morning the bride shared that he was drunkenly mentioning divorce before passing out.

Took her 2 additional years but, eventually they divorced.

When the vows had more sarcasm than sincerity I gave it a year, max.

During pre Cana classes (Catholic marriage prep) they asked everyone ten main topic questions several times. Each time they were worded differently to make sure that each couple had discussed these topics thoroughly and were on the same page.

For example, one of the topics was on having children. These are some of the questions I remember. Do you want to have children? If so, how many children? Who will be the main care giver? Will you both equally share parenting duties? Will both parents work full time? Will you have one stay at home parent? If both parents work full time, will your child be in a day care facility or will a family member or other caregiver care for your child inside your home, etc?

We started out will maybe 30 couples, but as time went on we lost quite a few. It was pretty obvious what couples hadn’t discussed anything or just glossed over stuff. We watched several couples get into big arguments and a few of them actually walked out during the classes. The others just didn’t return the following week. One couple almost threw down arguing over spanking their future kids.

Úff. I was a bridesmaid, getting nails done with bride and she says she’s not sure she’ll want kids. Totally fine-different strokes, different folks. but THEN says “and if I was going to have kids, (insert groom name) isn’t who I would want to have kids with anyways”. Wait. What? 🚩divorced less than 2 years later.