A wedding is a wonderful ordeal - the day when you decide to tie yourself to another human being (well, not necessarily a human being, but let’s leave it at that for the sake of tradition), throw a huge party to commemorate the fact and change your identity just a slight bit by adopting a new surname. Or adding another one to an already existing one and then cursing loudly each time you have to sign using your full name. Anyway, aren’t weddings just magical? Yeah, both magical and a bit looney, but that’s where all the best wedding jokes happen - straight from that looney part. And boy, aren’t they funny! So, if you were searching for some quality wedding jokes, this is the absolute right place for that.
If you’ve ever attended a wedding, you know that besides people looking their best for the occasion, some free meals, and wonderful photo-ops, such a party is bound to have a funny mishap or two. Well, after all, it’s a group of people to whom booze is served ad-lib, there are some heightened emotions all around, and even a broken heart or two added in the mix. But hey, that’s where the best jokes come from! And what a better way than to start your new journey in life with a healthy dose of quality marriage jokes.
So, scroll on down below to meet our selection of funny wedding jokes! They are, just as usual, a bit further down. Once you are there, be sure to vote for the best jokes and share this article with those to whom it might be of concern.
#1
Blue-haired old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, “You’re next!” They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
unknown
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#2
"The only way I'm coming to your wedding is if YOU get ME a gift. You just found lifelong love, I think I deserve a blender more than you do."
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16points
#4
GF: "You're so childish."
Me: "It's my day too Linda."
[we sit in silence]
Wedding planner: "So is that a yes or a no on the bouncy castle?"
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13points
#5
I went to a cannibals wedding last weekend. All was going well until they decided to toast the Bride and Groom.
unknown
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#6
I bought a ticket to the World Cup finals without realizing it’s also my wedding day! Does anyone want to go in my place?
The church is St. Antony’s and the bride’s name is Joanna.
unknown
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#7
On my wedding day, I walked down the aisle with my back to the altar. I really wasn't looking forward to getting married.
unknown
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#8
I went to a wedding where all the guests ended up getting food poisoning from the buffet. It was a real party pooper.
unknown
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#9
My friend was telling me about a wedding he is going to next year. He said he'll be wearing the same kilt as the groom. I love the idea, but I'm really not sure how they're both going to fit into it.
unknown
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#10
"The older I get the more I want to know exactly how Katherine Heigl's character could afford to be a bridesmaid in 27 weddings."
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12points
#11
"People’s put the weirdest shit on their wedding registries. What the hell are you going to do with a crystal duck Katie?"
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12points
#12
"Any wedding can be a fairy tale wedding if you serve porridge and release three angry bears into the reception hall."
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12points
#13
"Going to a wedding with a dressy casual dress code so I guess I’m wearing silk pajamas."
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12points
#14
My wife emailed me our wedding photos, but I couldn’t open any of the files. I always have trouble with emotional attachments.
unknown
Report11points
#15
My ex-wife kept the only copy of our wedding video. I can’t see myself getting married again.
unknown
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#16
My friend wanted to feel like a princess on her wedding day. So we made her marry a man she never met in order to secure a French alliance.
unknown
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#17
"When I get married I'm gonna send invitations to my enemies that have minus ones on them so they'll know about the wedding but won't be allowed to go."
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11points
#18
"I didn't know when your wedding was because you spelled out the date and time like a goddamn medieval sorcerer."
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11points
#19
"If I ever get married I think I will make everyone wear crocs to the wedding. Dress code: croctail attire."
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11points
#20
What do Polish men give their wives on their wedding day that’s long and hard?
Their last name.
unknown
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