!["Would I Be The [Jerk] For Not Sending A Gift For A Wedding I Wasn't Invited To?"](https://img.boredpanda.com/unsafe/rs:fit:3840:0/q:80/aHR0cHM6Ly9zdGF0aWMuYm9yZWRwYW5kYS5jb20vYmxvZy93cC1jb250ZW50L3VwbG9hZHMvMjAyMi8wOS93ZWRkaW5nLWNvdXNpbnMtbm8tY2xpY2tzLWZiMjgtcG5nX183MDAuanBn.webp)
Wedding stories vary - happy, sad, funny... And sometimes they are really strange, leaving behind that very elusive bewilderment: "What was that all about?" The feeling that will accompany this story every time the participants tell it over years and years.
There have been many situations when, after the wedding, the husband or wife still considered it most important for them to maintain good relations with their relatives, not taking the side of their spouse in all possible confrontations. This is definitely not very good. But it is no better when a person distances themselves from their relatives - especially from those with whom they were friends since childhood.
For example, the author of this post in the AITA Reddit community has a similar situation. The original post has about 14.7K upvotes and more than 2K different comments as of today. Many of these comments, by the way, share the bewilderment and resentment of the Original Poster. So, let's just talk about everything in order...
More info: Reddit
The Original Poster was always close to her cousin, until the man met his future fiancée
Image credits: demxx (not the actual photo)
The Original Poster was always close to her cousin "Ted", literally since their childhood. And even as adults, they continued to be friends and keep in touch. Until Ted met "Maddy"...
Image credits: u/hiddenconcert
The OP says that she and Maddy perhaps simply didn't click
The OP admits that Maddy is quite a nice person, and she was quite comfortable talking with her on various topics, but in general, they just did not click. The OP was always polite and nice to her, but it was hard to say that the girls had become besties.
Image credits: u/hiddenconcert
Although, we must say, there were people who wanted them to become the closest of friends. For example, Ted's mom constantly pushed Maddy on her at parties, family meetings and outings. It got to the point, the OP recalls, that it was like childhood stories where you were literally forced to play with someone you didn't want to play with.
Image credits: u/hiddenconcert
The OP was offended when her family made her move her graduation party as Maddy was busy at her work
Moreover, the OP's graduation party had to be postponed due to the fact that Maddy was busy at work and could not come on the original date. The OP was not happy with this, largely because after the party was rescheduled, many of her friends could not attend it.
Image credits: u/hiddenconcert
The OP suddenly discovered that all the relatives but her received wedding invitations
And so, Ted proposed to Maddy, and they were soon going to tie the knot. However, the OP herself did not know exactly when the wedding would take place - until one of the relatives asked what she was going to give the newlyweds. The OP was surprised and said that no one had invited her yet. As it turned out later, the whole family received invitations - except for the OP.
Image credits: u/hiddenconcert
Finally the OP made her decision that she wouldn't send Ted and Maddy any wedding gifts
The OP was indignant and decided not to send a gift for the wedding at all. The OP's father, though, to whom she went to discuss her decision, said that she should not be petty and should do like everyone else by sending a gift.
Image credits: menj (not the actual photo)
But the OP had already made up her mind. Moreover, she declared that in the future, she would not invite Ted and his wife to any of her personal celebrations at all. She didn't initiate this confrontation, and she doesn't want to try to impose herself on those who don't want to communicate with her.
People in the comments backed the OP and simply claimed: "no invitation - no gift"
Most of the people in the comments were in full support of the OP, stating that it's generally strange to move her graduation party because of a cousin's girlfriend. Well, as for the gift for the wedding, everything is simple and logical here: no wedding invitation - no gift for this wedding!
Some commenters also pointed out that the OP accidentally found out about the upcoming wedding from one of the relatives, so it is weird to expect her to send a gift to the newlyweds if they did not even bother to inform her. In any case, according to the people in the comments, the OP is doing the right thing.
As we have told before, there are very strange wedding stories. For example, this other one is about an entitled relative who required the bride to reschedule her wedding only for the reason that it did not suit them. And, as always, we look forward to your feedback on this tale in the comments below the post.
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