Waiter jokes are a staple of the comedy world. We’re not exactly sure who started it all, we just know they’re funny, and some of them portray how service industry employees would love to use sarcasm to answer the dumb questions customers throw at them after a long, hard day at work.
More often than not, servers have to deal with demanding customers who don’t realize how hard it is to be in their shoes and put up with a lot of nonsense while trying to make sure everyone has what they need and want at any given time. That’s where these waiter jokes come in handy! They’re a great way to take a break from the stresses of your day and laugh at some situations that you can relate to.
Other than the usual “fly in my soup” jokes, this list contains some classic gags and new ones you may have never heard before. Get a snack, sit on your couch, and relax with this collection of hilarious waiter jokes!
#1
Diner: We don't eat dairy, eggs, meat, soy, gluten, or nuts. What do you recommend we get?
Waiter: Out.
Waiter: Out.
unknown
Report21points
#2
Waiter: How would you like your steak sir?
Me: Like winning an argument with my wife.
Waiter: Good choice, rare it is.
Me: Like winning an argument with my wife.
Waiter: Good choice, rare it is.
unknown
Report20points
#3
What does a cannibal say to a waiter on a cruise ship?
"Please bring me the passenger list."
"Please bring me the passenger list."
unknown
Report16points
#4
You don't know the definition of heartbreak until you see the waiter coming to your table with food, but then take a sharp turn to a different table.
unknown
Report15points
#5
To impress my date I ordered my whole dinner in French. Even the waiter was impressed because it was a Chinese restaurant.
unknown
Report14points
#6
Customer: Why doesn’t your menu list prices?
Waiter: We didn’t want to make you sick before the food does.
Waiter: We didn’t want to make you sick before the food does.
unknown
Report14points
#7
Waiter: Do you want to hear today’s special?
Customer: Yes please.
Waiter: No problem sir. Today is special.
Customer: Yes please.
Waiter: No problem sir. Today is special.
unknown
Report13points
#8
Why did the waitress get promoted?
She brought a lot to the table.
She brought a lot to the table.
unknown
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#9
Ron took his date to an expensive Italian restaurant, picked up the menu, and ordered food for both of them, saying: “We’ll have the Giuseppe Spomdalucci.” The waiter responded: “That’s the manager.”
unknown
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#10
Customer: There is a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Hold on sir, I'll get the fly spray.
Waiter: Hold on sir, I'll get the fly spray.
unknown
Report13points
#11
Customer: I thought the meals here were supposed to be like mother used to make.
Waiter: They are. She couldn’t cook either.
Waiter: They are. She couldn’t cook either.
unknown
Report13points
#12
Customer: There's a neutron in my soup.
Waiter: That'll be no extra charge sir.
Waiter: That'll be no extra charge sir.
unknown
Report12points
#13
"Finally it is monday", - said no one except people who work in a restaurant.
unknown
Report12points
#14
Waiter: I’m glad you enjoyed your dinner. How did you find the steak?
Customer: Super easy. It was right next to the potatoes.
Customer: Super easy. It was right next to the potatoes.
unknown
Report11points
#15
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
unknown
Report11points
#16
I have never been in love. But I imagine its similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food.
unknown
Report10points
#17
Customer: Give me a hot dog.
Waiter: With pleasure.
Customer: No, with mustard.
Waiter: With pleasure.
Customer: No, with mustard.
unknown
Report10points
#18
What does a waitress do when she finds a cold pizza that was forgotten to be served?
Serve it to a hipster.
Serve it to a hipster.
unknown
Report10points
#19
Not sure if kitchen staff about to murder one another or just having normal conversation.
unknown
Report10points
#20
Customer: Hi, is my table ready?
Waiter: No, not yet sir. Do you mind waiting?
Customer: No, that's okay.
Waiter: Great, take these salads to table six then.
Waiter: No, not yet sir. Do you mind waiting?
Customer: No, that's okay.
Waiter: Great, take these salads to table six then.
unknown
Report10points