58 Times People Faced The Truth That They Were The Problem In Their Lives

I can say this now because I'm much much better than I was... but on time I was getting trained by someone for a new job. I came in new to the job but with a college certificate that got me position. She was very experienced in the job. I kept trying to impress her with my knowledge by guessing what the answers would be as she taught me. At a certain point she said something like "I wish you would shut up long enough for me to teach you something!"

She was mad, and she was right. I wasn't listening. I wasn't learning. I was trying to be cool and in the process completely fumbling the job. I won't say I got better over night, but the comment stuck with me. Now I'm a few jobs down the line, learning something new, and I'm much much more gracious and attentive.

TLDR: Let people teach you stuff by shutting the F up.

I am very lazy and my husband does a lot of housework and watching our child. I sleep a lot. The reason behind this is depression. I’m not just trying to be a jerk but I seriously feel incapable of doing anything on some days. Well we got into a fight once because he was saying that he is overwhelmed and could I just do the dishes because that would help. I was arguing “don’t you understand that I just don’t feel capable of doing the dishes?” After that argument I was sitting there thinking about it and realized the toll I was taking on him. I also realized how bad my depression had gotten. Got up and did the dishes and made a therapist appointment the next day. I’ve been doing the dishes every day since. It’s small and I still need to help more but I finally realized that I was the problem. It hurt man. It really hurts to realize that.

I had a housemate who had a billion incredibly annoying little habits and the phoniest, most grating syrupy sweet persona. Couldn't stand her. My bestie and I were so stoked when she moved out. Reconnected about a decade later and she's one of the loveliest and most naturally kind people I've ever known. She hasn't changed a bit. My bestie and I were 100% just being mean girls and we didn't even see it. Not only did my old housemate not hold it against us, she's so genuinely predisposed to see the good in others that she never realized we were jerks, either. I'm grateful that I got the entirely unearned opportunity to learn to properly value her.

When my students all got 50% or less on a test I gave I realized I was the common denominator.

My daughter’s feet “bended”one day,I realize after I came back for work. She has been in bed all day since she couldn’t get up. (The sitter told me)She was 4yo.
I was so worry and depressed about my cheater husband,that I only feed my 2 daughters with McDonald’s food,e v e r y D a y. I have no mood for anything,neither cook ,clean or play with them. She was missing a lot of vitamins and most importantly potassium. She was severely constipated as well. I was very stupid and I promise that never again that will happen.
I change my life,I divorce the cheater. I look for a less time consuming job. I lose weight and take care of them. I started cooking healthy . It took me a while. In silence I ask them for forgiveness,I still feel guilty now. I know that I change,but a human sometimes can’t forgive themselves.. she is 18yo now. A happy young lady that complains about her mom always cutting sugar in everything and checking that she doesn’t get junk food. She knows now what happened in the past. And I ask her for forgiveness,now that she understands ,she says that is in the past. But still hunted me .
Edit: sorry . English is not my first language I’m still learning.

Realizing I was very toxic towards SO.

Broke up with my partner after having the same discussion for two months without getting close to resolving it. My main reason for breaking up was that he was not able to have constructive conversations in order to work conflicts out.

When we decided to meet up two days after the break-up and have one last conversation, we both realized that the topic of our fighting has not been the issue, but that our way of interacting with each other had become super toxic. For me it was a shock that my behaviour was very problematic too. So we got back together, and are working hard to be in a healthy relationship with each other.

EDIT: reading through the comments I feel like I need to add some information to explain why I decided to give our relationship a second chance. I love my SO but because of our inability to resolve discussions on small things I felt we were not compatible.
Before we had our 'last' conversation I was fully convinced he was the 'problem', not me (i.e. I felt very misunderstood a lot) But then we talked and self reflected and I realized my behaviour is at times terrible too. We also realized our style of showing affection is different. So we do not always notice the full extend of one showing affection to the other which creates insecurities on both sides.

We decided we do not want to treat each other like that and both felt really willing to work on it together regardless of it working out. If it does, great. If it doesn't and we break up, thats okay too. I do this for me because I feel like it is important for my (as well as my SO's) personal growth regardless if we stay together or not.

It was with my younger brother. I would prank him or smack him playfully in the head and tell him his head is bent from me smacking. He was young and naive and believed everything I told him. I would kinda bully him and think it was funny. I am 31 now and he’s 27. Two years ago he confessed how much of bully I was and the trauma that caused him. I apologized and regret doing those things. He still thinks good of me but, I will always live the regret and remorse of doing him bad when all this time he would follow me around like a puppy thinking I was the older brother who would always take care of him.

In my relationship, it was after I left. I got tired of the usual relationship drama and decided I wanted out after 6 years. I quickly jumped into a fwb situation and discovered just how much of a horrid, controlling person I was to be with. Spent some months doing some serious soul searching and my ex ended up texting me. We’ve been working things out, and although he’s not perfect, he’s noticed a huge change in me and he loves that I continue to shock him. He was worth growing for and he’s worth me trying to be a better person for. We both had to commit to grow but it took me seeing that wasn’t just him that was the problem. I had to take control over my actions and be better. We’re now happily expecting our first baby together and I don’t think I’ve ever been happier. I grew up in such a controlling and toxic environment and that’s gonna stop with me.

Jobs always seem to go south three or four months in.

I had a crush on this guy in high school. I'm not trying to make excuses for myself, but due to some pretty awful experiences I had a rather shaky understanding of consent - basically assumed that all men wanted to sleep with me and it was my job to seduce them properly. I was also just creepy, socially inept, and not very self-aware. That set the stage for the following:

I sent him a love letter. When that didn't work, I sent him about 50 pages of handwritten love poems. That also didn't work

I thought the reason he didn't want to was because he didn't think I was dedicated enough to him so I continued to emphasize to him every day that I liked him. That also didn't work

I happened to be assigned to his group on a group project and found out that his house was in walking distance from the school. I happily informed him that I had memorized the route to his house and he was extremely upset about that.

I finally got frustrated and started stealing his stuff and making him chase me to get it back

He graduated a year ahead of me and blocked me on everything and it still took me 3-4 years to realize how much of an insanely creepy stalker I used to be. I wanted to apologize but he never answered my contact attempts and I found out recently that he passed away in a car accident last year.

When I got punched, and everyone went and shook the hand of the puncher.

My best friend use to joke that I was creepy, pathetic, and worthless. Then one night they got drunk and confessed they had really meant it all the time.

I decided I needed a new best friend and went out and found one. After about a year they let me know I was needy, boring, pathetic, and worthless.

Second time was the charm.

As I approach 30 I realize that I have "gifted child" syndrome and my success in high school and college theatre productions mean nothing when I'm not putting in the ground work to have a career.

I’ve been told my entire professional life that I’m difficult to work with. I always chalked that up to having to develop a thick skin as a woman who cooks professionally. About 3 months ago I started taking SSRIs after yet another bad year end review and missed promotion. The pills changed my personality so drastically that I realized the negativity and bad vibes that have been the biggest inhibitor of my career all stemmed from depression and anxiety and that had I started antidepressants earlier in my life I would’ve saved myself a lot of heartache.

Trying to teach my middle son to swim.

Last “Parent/Teacher” lesson, and he was crying and not liking it, wouldn’t jump in the water, etc.

Next week, I was just watching from outside the pool, and he was just fine with the instructor. Not precisely sure what I was doing, but it was surely me.

We’d been arguing constantly for weeks. And one day he told me I make him feel crazy

The only times in my life I’ve said someone made me feel crazy I was being outright heavily mistreated. To hear this sweet man tell me I made him feel crazy was a wake up call. I immediately told him we need a break this isn’t healthy anymore, we broke up for good 2 weeks later.

I hope to god he is happy where he is

It took me losing 5 really good friendships because "they all stopped talking to me" to realize i was the one who stopped talking to them because of fear

When three ex’s back to back over the years were the ones who broke up with me. They couldn’t handle my mental breakdowns and outlashes and self victimizing and broke it off because they were tired of it. One after the other, it fueled my self pity until I got tired of the same old story myself. I’m currently with an amazing woman and we’ve been together for a little over a year now, the longest relationship I’ve ever been in. Her patience and unconditional love and support with my depression and episodes helps me try to be better and catch myself self destructing because I don’t want to lose another person in my life. I’ve gotten a lot better over time but I know I still have a lot of work to do.

Mental health does not excuse and give a pass for outlashes. Think of your loved ones and how they get affected by it and apologize to them when you’re better. Actively be better for them and yourself.

When my boyfriend (now husband) told me he had a hard time handling my mood swings and they were emotionally exhausting him. I’m so afraid of losing him that something clicked inside me that I needed to get myself figured out. And I’m still trying my hardest but things have improved so much since then.

Recently, whenever I’m angry at my girlfriend and discussing it with her, all she does is apologize. Over and over again. First it made me think that yeah, maybe I’m justified in my anger because she’s so apologetic when in actuality my mood swings are becoming more and more frequent and I’m getting more and more angry over the dumbest things. A few days ago it hit me why I never see changes in her behavior- I keep finding different and increasingly inconsequential things to get mad about, regardless of what she does. Made me take a couple steps back and reevaluate MY behavior.

Edit: Thanks for the medals guys, but most importantly thank you kind strangers for all of your positivity and advice. If I thought I was aware of my actions before this booooy did these responses really open my eyes. If you or a loved one is experiencing something similar, take the steps to fix it NOW before it’s too late. I am extremely fortunate to have such a patient and loving girlfriend, who makes all of this possible. I really can’t express how much she makes ALL of this possible. It’s only through her patience and our many discussions about it that we’ve had breakthroughs. Love yourself and others unconditionally and surround yourself with others that do too, and changes will start to take hold.

For clarity, I’m not clinically diagnosed. However, my father is manic bipolar, and I’m his carbon copy. I’ve been fortunate to have a case study in him my whole life. Fairly certain that I’ll receive a similar diagnosis when I begin seeking professional help.