Even if you get along perfectly with your partner, it doesn't mean that you'll hit it off with their family.
Reddit user Background_Egg7703 thought she had found common ground with her boyfriend's relatives. However, after she went vegan, a conflict arose with his stepdad during one dinner over their diets. It quickly blew out of proportion, putting stress on their relationship.
In a post on the subreddit 'Am I the [Jerk]?' she shared that it got to a point where she no longer knows who is to blame for all of this. Her story illustrates just how important it is to try and stay empathetic towards the people around you.
This woman went vegan and everything seemed fine until one dinner with her in-laws
Image credits: Mariana Medvedeva (not the actual photo)
During it, she and her stepdad-in-law got into an argument in front of everyone about meat eating
Image credits: Cocobols (not the actual photo)
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: jm_video (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Background_Egg7703
Sometimes it seems that vegans and meat eaters have an inherent contempt for one another
Dr. Matt Ruby is a professor at La Trobe University who specializes in the psychology of food choices. He thinks that situations like this one are somewhat common.
"Some people on both sides are very determined to take things personally," Ruby told Insider.
Recently, the term "vegan" has itself been subject to controversy, as more people opting out of animal products choose to identify as "plant-based" instead to avoid stigma and cultural baggage attached to veganism.
Part of the reason why these conversations are so confrontational is that there is a lot of politics involved.
According to Ruby, food choices reflect not only deep divides in culture and ethics but also shared anxieties about our collective future and identities.
Both sides usually argue that their way is the most natural way for humans to eat
A common argument for (or against) meat-eating is based on how humans evolved, and whether we were meant to be herbivores or omnivores based on our biology and physiology.
When most people argue about dietary choices, they tend to focus on basic principles known as the 4 Ns — natural, normal, necessary, and nice. This means that omnivores look for evidence that meat-eating is ancestrally or biologically appropriate for humans, that it's important and accepted in our culture, that we need meat (or plant-based) diets for optimal health, and that it's just plain enjoyable and giving it up would be unpleasant.
In reality, there is no concrete evidence that either a plant-based or omnivorous diet is superior to the other. Most nutritionists and medical experts agree that a balanced diet of mainly whole foods is a healthy way to eat, whether or not that includes some animal products.
While red meat and processed meat have been scrutinized for their role in chronic disease, poultry, seafood, and cheese are generally regarded as fine, as long as they're consumed in moderation.
It's important to note that a natural, or ancestral, approach to dieting isn't necessarily the ideal either.
"I don't find that particularly helpful — natural doesn't mean better," Ruby said. "Earthquakes are natural, black plague was natural."
Beyond personal preference, however, what we eat does matter for how we perceive ourselves, and how we want other people to perceive us; our diet is a component of our identity.
Hopefully, Background_Egg7703 and her step-dad-in-law as well as the rest of us find a way to sit peacefully at the table.
As people started reacting to the woman's story, she joined the discussion in the comments section
Many said that she did nothing wrong
But some believe that everyone involved could've handled things better
