If any creepy entity has ever lived through a renaissance of a worldwide scale, it has to be the vampires. Come to think of it, they were never really gone from our pop culture since, probably, the start of culture, but the recent decade or so reminded us what a significant part of our society vampires are. Well, at least a significant part of various movies, TV shows, podcasts, memes, and… hilarious jokes! That's right; we're sparking the embers of the vampire craze ablaze with our latest article dedicated solely to vampire jokes!
The blood-sucking, ethereally charming human beasts have been ruling our imaginations since the dawn of humankind. But now we know better than to be scared of them, for sure! Now, we have these jokes about vampires to laugh right in the white faces of centuries-old creatures of the dark. And, well, the creepier the subject, the more deliciously spooky jokes you get! One might even think that these funny vampire jokes were tailor-made to be a part of your Halloween festivities. A new tradition, perhaps?
So, ready to check out our selection of deliciously spooky jokes? If so, scroll on down below, and that's where you will find our vampire jokes all ready to amuse you! Be sure to give your vote for the best jokes, and share this article with anyone in need of some Halloween-appropriate jokes.
#1
What should you never yell at a vampire while arguing?
"Bite me!"
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#2
Robert Pattinson is the worst vampire ever. Took him 15 years to figure out how to turn himself into a bat.
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#3
How does Dracula get his torch to turn on?
With bat-teries.
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#4
Why don’t vampires like mosquitos?
Too much competition.
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#5
Why don’t mosquitoes bite vampires?
As a professional courtesy.
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#6
What did the child vampire say before going to bed?
“Turn on the dark mummy, I’m scared of the light.”
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#7
Why should you never tell a vampire to get a life?
Because it might decide to take yours.
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#8
What is worse than a hungry vampire?
A thirsty vampire.
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#9
What did the vampire doctor say to his patient?
You need more iron.
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#10
Why are vampires bad artists?
Because they always want to draw blood.
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#11
What did the vampire say after drinking blood from a bodybuilder?
"Whew, that’s strong!"
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#12
What is the name of Dracula's vegan brother?
Count rucola.
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#13
"I stabbed a vampire, beat zombies to death and killed devil itself... my wife rushes through the room and shouts, 'You're supposed to give them candies, Frank!'"
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#14
How do you kill a French vampire?
You have to stab him/her with a baguette. It sounds easy, but the process is painstaking.
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#15
Why don't vampires use autocorrect?
Because they love Type Os.
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#16
Why did Dracula divorce his wife after she took a blood test?
She wasn't his type.
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#17
Where does Dracula buy writing utensils from?
Pencil-veinia.
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#18
Do you know why I broke up with my vampire girlfriend?
Because she sucked the life out of me.
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#19
What’s a vampire’s least favorite song?
“Another One Bites The Dust.”
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#20
What do vampires drink at happy hour?
B-Positive.
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