"Rejection and failure are famously part of life in the broadest sense. The most successful among us—in any sphere—including the sphere of relationships—have had more than their share of failures. In fact, recent research by my research team (led by my student Maya Kardas) has found a positive statistical relationship between the number of failures that one perceives in their life with the number of successes—thus supporting the age-old adage that the more one fails, ultimately, the more one succeeds," Dr. Geher explained to Bored Panda in an email.
"Applied to relationships, this trend is straightforward: Don't expect every relationship to work out. Don't expect everything you do in a relationship to land well. Don't expect every intimate partner in your life to be 'the one.' Odds are that things won't work out that way. That said, don't give up on yourself—accept that failure and rejection are part of the process. Never give up. And you'll find the right one for you—you'll get there. Perhaps when you least expect it."
Dr. Geher also opened up about the small ways in which we can show our significant others that we appreciate them. It's something to keep in mind no matter what day it is. After all, you don't need the calendar to show February 14 to be romantic!
"My wife Shannon and I, both on our second marriages and both all the wiser, are all about showing each other love in ways that are both big and small. This morning, Shannon made me a coffee in a travel mug, got me a Gatorade, and placed all of this and a photo of us from a memorable trip in my car as a surprise for my drive to work," he shared.
"She and I write poetry for each other regularly. We write songs for each other. We create for each other. And there are few things that are as romantic and loving as sharing creativity. This point is backed by an exhaustive amount of research."
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You can do all these things regardless of what your budget is like. According to Dr. Geher, you don't have to buy a bouquet of expensive flowers and get a table at an over-priced restaurant to show your partner love. "Try sending a bouquet of sunflowers along with fresh bagels and cream cheese from the grocery store to your love when they least expect it. Maybe when they're having a hard day at work. Guaranteed to create delight and smiles," he suggested. It's something that pretty much all of us can do today—right now, in fact.
"At the end of the day, visible investments of time and effort signal love in a profound way. Research has shown this fact consistently for years. And based on personal experience, I will say that I have no arguments with this research. Shannon and I delight each other in these kinds of ways regularly—and doing so shows the other that our thoughts and hearts are with our partner. Ultimately, displaying such investments of time and energy sit at the core of this thing that we call 'love.' And these are all things that we can easily do each and every day." You can also find Dr. Geher on Psychology Today (Darwin's Subterranean World) and Substack (The Human Condition).
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The National Retail Federation (NRF) predicts that American consumers are likely to spend a record-breaking amount of money this Valentine’s Day.
The NRF’s annual survey found that spending should reach $27.5 billion in 2025, even higher than the record $27.4 billion set back in 2020.
It’s estimated that the average American will spend $188.81 on Valentine's Day, up slightly from the $185.81 spent in 2024. Valentine’s Day is a bit more popular this year than last.
The NRF states that 56% of American consumers plan to celebrate it this year, compared to 53% in 2024. More men said they intend to celebrate the holiday this year: 55% in 2025 vs 51% in 2024.
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This year, the most popular gift categories include candy (56% of respondents plan to buy some), flowers (40%), greeting cards (also 40%), an evening out (35%), and jewelry (22%).
That should amount to around $6.5 billion spent on jewelry, $5.4 billion on an evening out, $2.9 billion on flowers, $2.5 billion on candy, and $1.4 billion on greeting cards.
Over a third (38%) of Valentine’s shopping happens online, 34% happens at department stores, 29% at discount stores, and 18% at specialty shops and florists.
Treating your significant other on Valentine’s Day is, naturally, what most consumers plan to do. However, nearly a third (32%) of Americans also plan to buy gifts for their friends.
Meanwhile, a whopping 19% also have plans to purchase gifts for their colleagues. And 32% also plan to treat their pets to something special on February 14.
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“Whether they are celebrating a significant other or someone else in their lives, Valentine’s Day is meaningful for many people. Consumers are looking for special ways to treat their loved ones and can expect retailers to provide the best gift options and deals,” said Katherine Cullen, NRF Vice President of Industry and Consumer Insights.
Meanwhile, Phil Rist, Prosper Insights & Analytics Executive Vice President of Strategy, had this to say: “Consumers plan to celebrate Valentine’s Day through a variety of ways to show appreciation and love for the many different people around them. Purchasing gifts for those outside of significant others or family members continues to rise in popularity and reflects consumers’ growing interest in celebrating all the meaningful relationships in their lives.”
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