I think that the relationship between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is probably the most complicated one. Even after marriage, some women can be extremely overbearing towards their sons, which can naturally anger the wife. Well, this just creates more complexities in their bonding.
Something similar happened with this postpartum woman, who was frustrated that her mother-in-law always planned vacations without consulting them. However, she soon realized that the bigger problem was her husband, who gave in to all his mom’s whims and fancies. Here’s how it sparked unnecessary drama within the whole family!
More info: Reddit
Some mothers-in-law create problems in a couple's life by being overbearing, but sons also let it happen at times
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster was super annoyed that her mother-in-law planned a vacation with the whole family without even asking if they were free
Image credits: TokenYeti658
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Apparently, she always did that, and the poster's husband always expected her to agree, but this time, she really didn't want to go as she was postpartum
Image credits: TokenYeti658
Image credits: Wavebreak Media / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When she told her husband about it, he was really disappointed, as he expected her to sacrifice her peace just to make his mommy happy
Image credits: TokenYeti658
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
In fact, he even claimed that they would plan a weekend getaway just to soften the blow of cancelling this trip, which was to celebrate his mom's work achievement
Image credits: TokenYeti658
The poster was frustrated that he could understand her brother-in-law and sister-in-law's position of declining the vacation, but not her
Today, we dive into a family drama where the original poster (OP) tells us about her overbearing mother-in-law. The woman gave a vacation as a gift to the whole family, including her two sons, their wives, and their kids, to celebrate a work achievement. However, the poster was mad that she always made these plans without consulting them and expected them to just go along with it.
Also, OP was in her postpartum phase, and this vacation would take away time from her maternity leave. Besides, she really didn’t want to go “skiing in May,” instead of spending time with her family as well. The poster genuinely felt that the woman’s actions were manipulative, and her brother-in-law and sister-in-law didn’t want to go either.
In an update, she confessed that she discussed it with her husband, but he was disappointed. Many folks pointed out that she had a husband problem, and OP agreed. Apparently, the man was ready to sacrifice his postpartum wife’s peace just to make his mom happy. In fact, he said that to soften the blow of cancelling this vacation, they should take her for a weekend getaway.
Since their late father, the poster’s husband was his mom’s emotional support and didn’t want to hurt her. However, whenever OP tried talking to him about his mother, he always got defensive and claimed that her family was also annoying. While our lady did cancel this vacation, she was sure that this was not the last headache she would face because of the mom and son.
Image credits: shurkin_son / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Sadly, studies show that 60% of women admit that their relationship with their female-in-law causes them unhappiness. It can definitely happen if they are toxic and overbearing. Experts also stress that emotional manipulation, no respect for your boundaries, and acting invasive in the marriage are clear signs of a toxic mother-in-law.
That surely sounded like the woman in the story, and her impulsive decisions were causing problems for the couple. Research also emphasizes that “An overbearing mother-in-law can be exhausting, stressful, and irritating. Her presence may contribute to relationship difficulties with the spouse or children, and may even result in a decreased self-worth or the victim pursuing isolation.”
Moreover, the fact that OP’s husband would choose his mom’s happiness over peace for his postpartum wife is really problematic. It’s unfair how women are always expected to make sacrifices for their husbands’ families. That's why some netizens applauded the poster for standing up for herself and declining the “generous vacation gift.”
Research also stresses that having an unsupportive partner can make a person feel less understood, validated and cared for. Furthermore, it can also trigger a “stress amplifying effect,” meaning the level of cortisol increases in the body. Going through all this unnecessary drama during her postpartum period must be totally annoying for the poor woman.
What would you do if you were in her shoes? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!
Netizens instantly gave the poster a reality check that she didn't have a mother-in-law problem, but a husband problem
