In a world where superheroes dominate the box office and graphic novels line our bookshelves, we often daydream about what it would be like to possess extraordinary powers. We’ve all imagined flying like Superman, wielding Thor’s mighty hammer, or becoming invisible to avoid those uncomfortable everyday situations. But what if we told you that there’s a whole range of, let’s say, unconventional superpowers that exist in the real world but never make the cut? The ones that won’t save the planet but might earn you a few laughs or raised eyebrows? Well, my fellow superhumans-in-waiting, this blog post is all about that.
We spent more time than we should have reading this thread where people revealed their useless superpowers, no matter how silly or freaking cool they may be. We collected the best responses and compiled a list of superpowers that are equal parts quirky and comical, showcasing the unique abilities and strange talents that make some humans wonderfully weird. From an uncanny ability to predict time with scary precision to a strong sense of hearing that allows you to listen to two conversations at a time, these unusual skills may not be on par with the X-Men. Still, they’re sure to make these people the talk of the town… or at least of their group of friends.
In an era that celebrates superhumans as deities, it’s time to give the limelight to the underdogs and their peculiar powers. We scoured all corners of the thread to find the most amusing and captivating superpower confessions. So, strap on your metaphorical capes and get ready to discover a treasure trove of hilariously useless abilities that may not save the world but will undoubtedly make it a more interesting place. From the bizarre to the downright side-splitting, this list of superpowers will remind you that sometimes, being ordinary is truly extraordinary.
#1
"I can read really fast, hard to prove to people though and if I get into a real flow people just think I'm flicking through a book too quick and don't believe me.
I read so fast that if I read out loud I trip over the words on the page, I'm reading them in my head faster than saying them so I'm always a few words behind. In my head though yeah it just flows like water."
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256points
#2
"Cats love me. I've had cats come running out of side streets and houses just to say hello and get some scritches. Outdoor cats who have never interacted with me before let me pick them up, and if my partner wasn't allergic I would have adopted an army of strays who just followed me home by now.
And it's actually not completely useless - I work as a cat sitter."
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253points
#3
OB1KENOB said:
"I can remember things I did when I was 8 months old."
"I can remember things I did when I was 8 months old."
-Roast-Toast- replied:
"I can forget things I did 8 minutes ago."
"I can forget things I did 8 minutes ago."
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238points
#4
TorchFlower said:
"My daughter says she can choose what she is going to dream about every night.
"My daughter says she can choose what she is going to dream about every night.
She describes it as having a few scenes to choose from and she picks one. She was amazed that nobody else in the family could do this. She thought it was normal."
Silv0r replied:
"Wow, this is the best superpower and anything but useless! I'm very envious and super happy for your daughter too! It's called lucid dreaming and I've been trying to do that all my life. She needs to hold on to it! It is a gift. I have only lucid dreamed 1-2 times in my whole life where I could control it like a director."
"Wow, this is the best superpower and anything but useless! I'm very envious and super happy for your daughter too! It's called lucid dreaming and I've been trying to do that all my life. She needs to hold on to it! It is a gift. I have only lucid dreamed 1-2 times in my whole life where I could control it like a director."
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226points
#5
Adkit said:
"Severe aphantasia. Only a small percent of people with aphantasia have complete aphantasia and I'm one of those s*ckers.
"Severe aphantasia. Only a small percent of people with aphantasia have complete aphantasia and I'm one of those s*ckers.
I cannot picture things in my mind. At all. It's pitch black, and it never changes. Apparently, you mutants can just close your eyes and imagine whatever you want like some sort of hallucination. I don't even fully understand how that would look..."
JoeBoco7 replied:
I’m on the complete opposite end with hyperphantasia. My imagination is extremely vivid, it feels more real than real. My favorite thing to do is to create new episodes of my favorite shows and just watch it in my head.
I’m on the complete opposite end with hyperphantasia. My imagination is extremely vivid, it feels more real than real. My favorite thing to do is to create new episodes of my favorite shows and just watch it in my head.
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195points
#6
MikeT75 said:
"When I have to wrap multiple food items in aluminum foil, I have the super ability to pull my next sheet of foil and cut it to exactly to the same length and size as the last sheet, creating a stack of perfectly matching foil sheets. It amazes no one but me, and makes for a terrible party trick."
"When I have to wrap multiple food items in aluminum foil, I have the super ability to pull my next sheet of foil and cut it to exactly to the same length and size as the last sheet, creating a stack of perfectly matching foil sheets. It amazes no one but me, and makes for a terrible party trick."
OG_ninnyhammer replied:
"That’s the most useful useless thing I’ve ever heard. Good on you."
"That’s the most useful useless thing I’ve ever heard. Good on you."
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185points
#7
"(This is from actual medical/psych professionals.) I have very high observational vigilance and extremely fast information processing speed.
This can and has been extremely useful for a lot of my gal friends. If they were ever in doubt about a dude (couldn't decide if his behavior was problematic or not) they'd introduce me and watch if I reacted negatively to them.
It's useless because when you have this starting a young age it can REALLY screw you up. You start getting flooded with noticing other people's negative reactions around you when you're too young to understand that they're not because of you. F*cks up your self esteem and is a recipe for chronic depression that translates into chronic social anxiety. I'm ok now, all handled and taken care of as an adult."
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179points
#9
Musasabi_King said:
"I have an extremely strong sense of hearing, but people think I'm hard of hearing because I can't hear them when there's any kind of background noise."
"I have an extremely strong sense of hearing, but people think I'm hard of hearing because I can't hear them when there's any kind of background noise."
illianae replied:
"I have this too. Its like my hearing gets overflowed with information and I can't choose to not hear things. Nothing ever gets to the background noise setting."
"I have this too. Its like my hearing gets overflowed with information and I can't choose to not hear things. Nothing ever gets to the background noise setting."
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155points
#10
Desperate-Acadia7438 said:
"Not me but my mom, if they have leftovers she can pick the exact right container it’ll fit into perfectly. It’s magical."
"Not me but my mom, if they have leftovers she can pick the exact right container it’ll fit into perfectly. It’s magical."
Rodyland replied:
"I have the exact opposite of this ability. No matter what, the container I choose is always the wrong size. If I try to play it off against itself and pick a different container before putting food in it, then the original container will have been the right size after all."
"I have the exact opposite of this ability. No matter what, the container I choose is always the wrong size. If I try to play it off against itself and pick a different container before putting food in it, then the original container will have been the right size after all."
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145points
#11
Ryborg6900 said:
"I can clear my mind and go up to five minutes without a single thought."
"I can clear my mind and go up to five minutes without a single thought."
RaedwaldRex replied:
"That's something I can never seem to do. People say clear your mind and all that happens is my mind fills with ways and ideas on how can I clear my mind."
"That's something I can never seem to do. People say clear your mind and all that happens is my mind fills with ways and ideas on how can I clear my mind."
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141points
#12
"The last place I worked I could tell who had already arrived at work before me that morning by the smell(s) in the elevator. There was only one elevator as it was a small building. Kinda gross, but I freaked out a coworker because I was always right."
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134points
#13
"Animals tend to like me more than the other people around. Found that out in my early thirties. Since then I now have my second dog. I'm able to form a deep bond to animals in a short amount of time. Sometimes dogs meet me and won't leave my side, even when the owner is shouting for them.
I would never say it's useless but I have several negative issues in my life that I would like to lose instead of being the animal friend."
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124points
#15
"I have an amazing memory for song lyrics. Every once in a while this helps my team win pub trivia."
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121points
#16
"I have no object permanence, and it also works on people. Basically, if I don't see people often enough I just forget them."
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119points
#17
"I used to know when the phone (land line) would ring. I would go over the phone and wait a few seconds to pick it up before it rung. My mother was baffled by it and I also didn't understand why. Hasn't happened for the past 14 years now."
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111points
#18
"I can always tell the correct time, within 5 minutes, without looking at a clock. I just know, ya know?"
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104points
#19
"Finding 4 leaf clovers. I also have some 5 and 6 leaf ones. I just seem to have an eye for spotting the ones that don't match the pattern, and will find at least one on every country walk."
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103points
#20
"My daughter has a parking fairy, basically she can pull into a shopping centre carpark and someone will pull out in front of her so she can park.
My mother-in-law had the same power."
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102points