When we first thought about our most useless jobs list, we thought about professions like a night knocker or a human alarm clock, but soon realized that they were, in fact, pretty useful, but just became obsolete with the emergence of new technologies, and, well, time. But then, we stumbled upon this glorious Reddit thread where - jackpot - people listed the jobs they had or knew someone else to have that were truly, incredibly, absolutely useless. As in, you get paid while doing practically nothing. Once we read the cases, we rounded up the most outrageously cool ones and put them on this list - go take a look, because no matter how hard we try to convince you, you wouldn’t believe the farce of these absurd jobs!
But we’ll try, nevertheless! Some of these unusual jobs require the employees just to literally be nice, come to the office, and reply to an email once a week. For a full-time salary, no less! Then, some people are lucky enough to spend all day sorting data from newest to oldest. In an Excel file. One click, and your whole day’s work is done! Still others got a chance to move around a bit during their shifts, by spinning brand signs on the streets nearby or working as Costco greeters. Basically, doing nothing. Of course, this list isn’t limited to these amusingly weird jobs, because people did have something to say about a bit more serious lines of work whose main aim seems to purely be ripping someone off. Not a nice thought to end our intro with!
So, to make it brighter and lighter, we urge you to read the submissions that we found on this AskReddit thread and decide for yourself whether you’d want a useless job or not! Once you find an entry that amuses the heck out of you or one that you couldn’t agree more with, give it your vote. And lastly, you might want to consider sharing this list with your friends!
#1
"I took a job scheduling residential HVAC technicians for a mid-sized company after a few years of working in the field. A few months in, the company ended its residential program to focus on the commercial.
Thing is, they already had commercial schedulers. My boss told me she'd find me a new role, but then she took another job elsewhere and left.
I stayed as a scheduler with no one to schedule in a department that no longer existed. No one in the office seemed to realize this, and for over half a decade, I would show up, make friendly conversation in the breakroom while making my coffee, and then literally just did nothing the rest of the day. Having left a stressful job, it was glorious.
Occasionally someone would ask me an hvac or system-related question over email, and that was it. I made sure everyone liked me by bringing in bagels every Monday and donuts every Friday.
Then covid happened and now I was doing nothing at home!
When I learned the company was being sold, I figured I wouldn't tempt fate anymore and applied elsewhere. My department head gave a glowing recommendation, having no idea what I even did but knowing I was friendly and helped him jump his car a few times.
TLDR: The department I was adminning was downsized, but they forgot about me and I essentially took a six-year paid vacation."
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44points
#2
"I worked at a can-crushing plant.
The pay was good, the work was easy, but it was soda-pressing."
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37points
#4
Carl_Clegg said:
"An elevator attendant.
"An elevator attendant.
“First-floor sir? I’ll press button number 1 for you.”
(Does anywhere still have these guys or is it just an old movies thing?)"
Penguin_Dreams replied:
"I’m so old I remember when they had these in department stores. Whilst shopping with my grandma one day we got in an elevator and the attendant asked if we wanted the second floor. My grandma replies, “why yes, how did you know?” He says, “ma’am, there are only two floors, and we’re currently on the first one.”"
"I’m so old I remember when they had these in department stores. Whilst shopping with my grandma one day we got in an elevator and the attendant asked if we wanted the second floor. My grandma replies, “why yes, how did you know?” He says, “ma’am, there are only two floors, and we’re currently on the first one.”"
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32points
#6
Administrative_Toe96 said:
"Telemarketers, I don’t know a single person who has actually purchased something from a telemarketer. Maybe it’s something the older generation does but everyone hates them and immediately hangs up on them around me."
"Telemarketers, I don’t know a single person who has actually purchased something from a telemarketer. Maybe it’s something the older generation does but everyone hates them and immediately hangs up on them around me."
YoutubeRewind2024 replied:
"I worked as a telemarketer for State Farm when I got out of high school, and in 8 months I had one person actually let me give her a quote. It was my aunt."
"I worked as a telemarketer for State Farm when I got out of high school, and in 8 months I had one person actually let me give her a quote. It was my aunt."
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27points
#8
"Pet Psychic. Our Golden Retriever was getting joint therapy (shoulder injury, working with a vet, the dog did swimming three days a week in a heated pool where he could exercise without putting weight on the joint, also did some exercises, and is now fine. The place also did laser therapy and acupuncture for dogs.) Someone said something about 'Hudson' which is our dog's name only they were talking to another dog. 'Oh,' they said, 'That's the dog psychic's dog.' Apparently, you could find out what your dog was thinking.
I know what my dog is thinking. Most of the time he either wants what I'm eating or he wants me to throw the ball."
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24points
#10
"Scam callers such as people asking if I want to extend the warranty on my car. Or if I’m looking to sell my house (that I don’t own)."
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23points
#11
"While it's a billion-dollar industry, health insurance. Literally, they exist to prevent you from cashing out on what you paid into. They have little to no medical knowledge, make everything more expensive, and exist solely as a useless middleman to make themselves rich."
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22points
#12
Ozzy_HV said:
"Bathroom attendants. I don’t need somebody in there pulling paper towels out of the dispenser just to hand it to me and compel me to tip them."
"Bathroom attendants. I don’t need somebody in there pulling paper towels out of the dispenser just to hand it to me and compel me to tip them."
MilkStrokes replied:
"I've been to a place where the attendant uses a lint roller on you, sprays you with some perfume, and has a little repair kit for clothes, mothers day cards, and all kinds of trinkets.
"I've been to a place where the attendant uses a lint roller on you, sprays you with some perfume, and has a little repair kit for clothes, mothers day cards, and all kinds of trinkets.
I was not prepared to be there and showed up with a rolling stones shirt and dirty jeans. Everyone was dressed nicely. I suspect they let me in because they thought I was one of those rich people so unaware of societal rules that they dress kinda crappy. I was actually just poor."
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21points
#13
sillykitty70 said:
"Gas Station pump attendant. Looking at you New Jersey."
"Gas Station pump attendant. Looking at you New Jersey."
angrylibertariandude replied:
"And Oregon. Not sure if either state will finally eliminate gas station attendants altogether. Oregon already allows rural gas stations to not use attendants, during certain off-peak hours. Though NJ still requires them 24/7."
"And Oregon. Not sure if either state will finally eliminate gas station attendants altogether. Oregon already allows rural gas stations to not use attendants, during certain off-peak hours. Though NJ still requires them 24/7."
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20points
#14
Runmenot said:
"Hedge Fund Managers. They produce no goods or services that actually make the world a better place. They are gamblers and leeches on society."
"Hedge Fund Managers. They produce no goods or services that actually make the world a better place. They are gamblers and leeches on society."
BimSwoii replied:
"I'm convinced that half the time, even the news articles about stocks are intentionally misleading in order to get uninformed people to bet against the winning play."
"I'm convinced that half the time, even the news articles about stocks are intentionally misleading in order to get uninformed people to bet against the winning play."
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19points
#16
digitalmofo said:
"The lady who walks around the office says "Don't be on your phones, if you have time for that then you can study about the company!"
"The lady who walks around the office says "Don't be on your phones, if you have time for that then you can study about the company!"
The same lady that is pushing hard to go back in the office, because remote work pointed out how useless that position is."
theedgeofoblivious replied:
"That lady.
"That lady.
Dear God, they should fire that lady."
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17points
#17
Alarming-Trouble9676 said:
"Mine. I'm a management consultant and while I have quite a bit of industry knowledge and experience my clients either have the same knowledge or they aren't willing to accept change. Often times my firm gets paid a lot of money to make very little difference strategically and/or operationally. Where we do add value is in implementing enterprise-wide software solutions. Why do I stay? The money is pretty good given the futility."
"Mine. I'm a management consultant and while I have quite a bit of industry knowledge and experience my clients either have the same knowledge or they aren't willing to accept change. Often times my firm gets paid a lot of money to make very little difference strategically and/or operationally. Where we do add value is in implementing enterprise-wide software solutions. Why do I stay? The money is pretty good given the futility."
NewMilleniumBoy replied:
"I heard from an acquaintance of mine who is a management consultant that most of the time people just want to hear their ideas out of someone else's mouth and will pay you to do it so that their peers will be more amenable to the idea."
"I heard from an acquaintance of mine who is a management consultant that most of the time people just want to hear their ideas out of someone else's mouth and will pay you to do it so that their peers will be more amenable to the idea."
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17points
#18
Alarming_Matter said:
"Homeopath."
"Homeopath."
KyOatey replied:
"Do you know what they call alternative medicine that actually works?
"Do you know what they call alternative medicine that actually works?
Medicine."
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17points
#19
-Necros said:
"Car dealerships. Just let me buy a car from the factory. Your job is to get me to pay as much as possible. So useless and so annoying."
"Car dealerships. Just let me buy a car from the factory. Your job is to get me to pay as much as possible. So useless and so annoying."
brandonmadeit replied:
"Yes, factory direct should be a thing with all this technology. Order your car on the app, pick custom settings, and delivered it to your driveway in 2-3 business days."
"Yes, factory direct should be a thing with all this technology. Order your car on the app, pick custom settings, and delivered it to your driveway in 2-3 business days."
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17points
#20
"I once worked for a company selling online advertising space. Apparently, we optimized click-throughs using data analysis but it was all smoke and mirrors. Anyone (which is everyone) paying for online advertising services like that is being scammed."
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17points