After decades of restrictive population policies, many prosperous countries are facing a different problem: there aren't enough kids, and the age pyramid is becoming alarmingly like a tree with an ever-expanding 'crown' of elderly people. Now, governments are encouraging us to have kids, but this raises a question that's difficult for even the most competent government to solve.
The babysitting issue. Because, for example, relatives aren't always thrilled when asked to babysit for free. And even less so when you try to trick them into babysitting, as actually happened to the user u/Apprehensive-Fox2655, the author of our story today.
More info: Reddit
Deciding to have a baby actually means a great responsibility on the parents, and some couples don't even suspect how huge it is
Image credits: Andrej Lišakov / Unsplash (not the actual photos)
The author of the post is a mom whose youngest kid recently went to school, and the lady expected to have some rest, but to no avail
Image credits: Apprehensive-Fox2655
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photos)
It turned out that her brother and his pregnant girlfriend expected her to babysit for them regularly - and even told other relatives this behind her back
Image credits: Apprehensive-Fox2655
Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photos)
The aunt-to-be, however, didn't want to delve into this process once more, and said a flat-out No to bro in a frank conversation with him
Image credits: Apprehensive-Fox2655
The guy didn't want to sacrifice his and GF's gym-going to babysitting, but expected the sister to give up her hobbies instead
The Original poster (OP) is a stay-at-home mom whose kids are finally at school, and she hoped that at least now she could breathe a sigh of relief after years of this truly devastating toddler race. But it wasn't to be! A recent Thanksgiving family gathering brought her both happy news and some rather discouraging news, too.
So, our heroine learned that her brother and his girlfriend are expecting their first baby. This news alone is very joyful, but then the author discovered that the parents-to-be not only expect her to be the primary babysitter, but are also telling all their friends and relatives about it as if it were a fait accompli. But the truth is, they haven't even talked about it yet!
Furthermore, the lady has absolutely no intention of becoming a full-time babysitter, something her brother and his partner had talked about as if it were a fact. Sure, she could easily help her bro with this from time to time (even though he's never babysat for her), but not permanently for sure. Well, the OP also has her own hobbies that she wants to devote some free time to.
The brother and his girlfriend also have hobbies - they are both avid gym-goers, and the man fears that taking care of the baby will put an end to their interests. When our heroine, in a frank convo, reasonably pointed out that he wanted her to give up her own hobbies, he declared that the child was more important than her activities. So, the OP simply hung up and decided to vent online, seeking some moral support from netizens.
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photos)
I want to point out right away that many people around the world repeatedly encounter requests, pleas, and even demands from fam to babysit for them, and that we've even compiled collections of the wittiest refusals. But the case described in this story is exceptional. Because the partners based their very plan to have a baby on the patently false assumption that the auntie would happily agree to give up everything and babysit.
Perhaps, if the expectant parents aren't ready to give up their hobby, they should consider paying? "The amount of hours expected during that caregiving time - acknowledging the labor involved in caring for children - is the first step to having a successful relationship," Care quotes Abbey Sangmeister, a therapist, life coach, and founder of Evolving Whole. Well, this really makes sense.
But the original poster herself admits that the brother and girlfriend can hardly afford childcare. In any case, honesty is the best option, and the couple should've definitely talked to the OP first - perhaps she would've agreed. But insistence is also unacceptable here. For example, this dedicated article at Scary Mommy claims that voluntarily involved relatives are, in fact, a true gift for any parent.
And what do the commenters under the original post think about this? Well, almost all of them do agree that infants actually suck up a lot of time, effort, and brainpower - so the author was absolutely right to reject her brother's entitled demand. "You really need to stand up for yourself when you hear things like that," one person concluded reasonably. So do you, our dear readers, also agree with this point?
Most people in the comments gave the author their sincere support and claimed that she doesn't need to be a free babysitter for her entitled sibling
