#1
"I am so sorry. I can't come in today. I'm trapped."
Me: "Trapped? What do you mean, trapped? Is everything okay?"
Him: "Yes, I'm fine, but... there's a moose on my porch, and it's been sleeping in front of my door for three hours. I can't get out."
I was completely silent, trying to process if this was an elaborate prank. I just told him to keep me updated.
An hour later, he emailed me a picture from his upstairs window. There, magnificently and absurdly, was a full-grown moose, curled up and fast asleep on his front steps like a giant, antlered dog.
It's the only time in my career I've had to log "Act of Moose" as the official reason for an absence.
#2
“Boss, what would happen if I came into work drunk?”
“You’d be fired.”
“Right boss, what would happen if I rang in and said I couldn’t come in because I was drunk?”
“You’d get a written warning.”
“OK, ok boss. What would happen if I didn’t come in today but didn’t give you a reason?”
“A verbal warning.”
“Cheers boss, I’ll take that.”.
#3
Just a couple of hours ago, a thread appeared on AskReddit where the user u/piranhamode asked netizens the question: "What is the most unusual excuse you've ever heard of from somebody calling off work?" - and basically launched a real viral volcano eruption.
At least, the thread has already collected more than 2.9K upvotes and around 3.3K different comments, clearly illustrating the full power of human imagination and resourcefulness. As is known, resourcefulness is best demonstrated in extreme situations - and isn't the need to go to work in the morning an extreme case?
#4
My supervisor, who wasn't terribly bright, didn't miss a beat. He told me to rest up and be back tomorrow.
The next day, his boss came over to me and said, "I'm going to let that apathy thing slide because it was hilarious, but don't ever do it again.".
#5
I got an email back from a coworker with a link to a local news article saying, "I thought I recognized your car!" :D.
#6
I rushed back to my home to find out he had decided he wanted to come over and cut down tree limbs while I was gone. He decided to use a ladder to climb up on the shed roof so he had more area to work with. The only problem was he also brought my sister's dog with him who promptly knocked over the ladder as soon as he got up there.
Baseball legend Yogi Berra was famous for his paradoxical aphorisms (some even believe that Berra became the prototype of Captain Obvious). One of Berra's most popular quotes is: "If people don't want to come to the ballpark, how are you going to stop them?"
To paraphrase these words, "if people don't want to go to work, how are you going to stop them?" Well, this collection of stories clearly confirms that if a person sincerely wants something (or, in this example, doesn’t want it), then the universe itself will try to facilitate this. Like, send a huge moose to their porch… Why not, after all?
#7
I asked her what was wrong. She replied "There's a big bug by the door."
We lived in garden apartment with only one entrance. And she couldn't get out because of the bug.
I told her to step on it. She was too afraid. I told her to sic our Jack Russell on it. *She*(the dog) was definitely not afraid of bugs.
So that's what she did. She took the dog over to it, pointed it out, and the dog went over to it, sniffed it and walked away.
Upon further examination it turned out the "bug" was actualy just a ball of loose thread.
These are the dangers of not wearing your glasses, I guess.
#8
To prevent cannibalism the recommendation was to separate the babies from the adults asap; prof. accepted this as an excused absence lol. .
#9
However, it’s not only ordinary workers who can find a thousand excuses to miss a day of work. For example, many years ago, the famous basketball player Rajon Rondo justified missing an away game by saying that he was throwing a birthday party. And another NBA star, Paul George, once simply drank too much coffee - and felt too dizzy to play that night.
#10
#11
#12
Called out once because a pack of javelina were encircling my car.
Called out once because there was a mama cougar hanging out on my back wall w a baby on the ground.
Called out once because a saguaro fell over onto my house and I had to prove to the feds that I didn’t knock it over.
Called out on two separate occasions because I got stuck in a hurricane and “missed” my flight home.
Called out once because I was helping rescue a friend’s horses from a wild fire that was moving toward their ranch.
I think that’s pretty much it for my wild excuses. I don’t really get sick so I don’t call out unless I REALLY can’t get to work 😂.
Okay, basketball players do have to travel all over the continent, playing 82 games during the regular season. But what about ordinary people? In fact, there are even more exotic situations here, and by that, we mean dangerous to one's health. Want an example? Voila!
“Sorry I missed our lunch meeting, I went to the Emergency Room because I accidentally shot myself with a staple gun,” BBC quotes British entrepreneur Brandon Lee. “I still have the staple they removed as a souvenir.” Let's hope that the deal did take place in that case...
#13
Again.
#14
Weird, but to be fair, she was VERY light skinned so I imagine it was pretty bad.
#15
Turned out it was true.
Be that as it may, we do believe that this list will not only be a source of healthy laughter for you, but also a wonderful reference book if you suddenly want to stay home on a working day, and there’s no suitable reason.
So please feel free to read all these stories and maybe add your own - in case you have something similar and funny to tell us. At the very least, it will be interesting. At the very most, we’ll all enjoy reading the comments. So, we’re looking forward to your tales - and we’ll definitely not accept any cop-outs!
#16
It turns out he was not just "out of town" -- he was in ANTARCTICA doing research.
#17
#18
#19
#20
