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How many times have you had to fight the urge to give some unwanted advice, Pandas? Try not to feel that guilty – having opinions is natural, after all. But we do have to be careful when we start offering our opinions and advice to people who didn't exactly ask for it.
According to VeryWell Mind, people do it with good intentions: out of altruism, friendliness, or just pure excitement. However, it can also satisfy the less-dignified side of us that's needy and helpless. Yes, people sometimes offer unsolicited advice for their sake, not yours – it makes them feel more valued, powerful, and important.
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Other times, friends can start offering advice when the person seems helpless. In these cases, according to Elizabeth Scott, Ph. D., the person should clearly communicate that they're not looking for advice.
There are times when people just want to vent about their problems, to pour their hearts out. That doesn't necessarily mean they're looking for guidance. But in some cases, all the complaining might get too much for their friends. Then, they might start offering advice just to send a message: "Do something or stop complaining."
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Then there are the unhelpful motives behind giving unsolicited advice. Experts warn to look at these signs seriously, as it might mean that the one offering the advice can be emotionally abusive.
Those with narcissistic tendencies like to "teach" people how to live, as it gives them power and attention. Their advice might not even be helpful because, most times, it's about them and not the other person.
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Others like to give out advice because they want to assert dominance, to be the knowledgeable one in the relationship. If they're the ones always giving advice and putting themselves into a position of authority, it may be time to reconsider the friendship.
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Friends and family aren't the only ones we get unsolicited advice from. Strangers sometimes like to do it, too. Often, it's because they're coming from a place of judgment. While this can also happen amongst friends, it often comes across more like an insult than advice. If a friend offers this kind of advice, mental health experts suggest spending less time with them.
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A Gen X-er with permanent tinnitus/partial hearing loss.
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For drama lovers, it's all about the conflict. They love it, and they thrive on instigating it. These people, according to Scott, feel power by telling others how wrong they are.
They even bring up topics for discussion by giving lots of advice – their goal is neither to help nor to demonstrate their sophistication. They mostly take the opposite side to whatever argument the other person presents.
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