“I Rescinded My Acceptance”: 30 Times People Called Out Entitled Wedding And Party Invitations

I guess this is not ‘unreasonable’ but it was pretty arrogant. I attended a baby shower for the daughter of a close friend. The word went out ahead of time that any cards given should be ‘current in style’ and not the old-fashioned mushy baby cards that seemed like they came from the 1950s. Yeah.

Additionally, the expectant mother lived in California but the shower was at the mom’s house in Atlanta. So the instructions were that all gifts should be shipped directly to the California address, and a print-out of the gift included with the card. Sigh. OK.

This was the daughter of a close friend, so I ordered and shipped a very nice gift. I forgot to get a card until the evening before the shower. I looked in my stash of pre-purchased cards, and oh,dear. The only card I had on hand was pink and mushy with a little baby being carried by a stork. Good enough. Not going out at 10 p.m. to buy another one. I printed out the picture of the generous gift and placed it inside the card.

When the expectant mother opened my card, you could see her body language change - she stiffened up and looked displeased. The stupid card was more important to her than the gift.

A few years ago I received a very pretty invite to an acquaintance’s wedding. It arrived in a white box with pink border, opened to the invite tied together with a big pink ribbon bow and included the RSVP card, picture of bride and groom and other extra items. It weighed a veritable ton.

A few weeks before the wedding, another friend of mine called. She is much closer to the bride than I am so I mentioned seeing her at the wedding. She laughed and said the invites were the oddest thing she had ever seen. I thought she meant all the pomp and prissiness of them. Found out she received a different invite than I did.

Hers was a standard Shutterfly type of invite in a plain envelope. Her invite looked a bit like this (See picture).

Yep, she received a gift request, not an invite. never did find out why I received an invite and the closer acquaintance to the bride did not. I did not attend the wedding or send a gift. Neither did my friend.

I have had two bat-schitte crazy insane invitations. But first, my own wedding and my sister’s.

I had a reverse destination wedding.

I moved away from home after college to live near my then-fiance who enlisted in the military while I finished college. I called home two weeks later and said “We’re getting married Thursday!” Mom (who was not exactly surprised) said, “Yay! Why not get married HERE Thursday since both sides of the family are here, including about two dozen of your relatives over 80 who can’t travel and the only people who will have to travel are the bride and groom?”

That made sense to both of us, so that’s what we did.

Since it rained, we got married in my grandmother’s living room instead of her flower gardens — and that woman was yard-proud; it was a showcase. I found a pretty knee-length (business but dressy) dress I liked at Penny’s. He wore his class As. I asked my honorary aunt and sister to stand up with me. My honorary aunt made my cake. Burnt the first one (ha!) and stayed up late making the second one — spice cake with chocolate icing because that’s what we liked and we weren’t having two cakes which would go to waste. She even dotted the outside with chocolate chips, which made it looked like a deranged spiked chocolate collar, I laughed, but you can’t have too much chocolate. All my relatives came, all his relatives came, it was a crowded house. Everyone brought a dish to share. We did potluck.

(For a rehearsal dinner the night before, my MIL brought in Buddy’s BBQ to her house, which as it turns out, I can’t stand and she knew it, because she’d known me for three years at that point. It had come up before. I didn’t make a fuss, I ate the sides. Didn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things: my belly was full, I was having fun with my groom-to-be and talking to all these people who were wishing us well.)

My MIL had insisted we pick out a “china” pattern. I picked out a nice, durable stoneware. No silver serving sets, no crystal, and no china we’d never use anyway. My MIL wanted to send out announcements, which I didn’t understand was a gift-grab until later or I wouldn’t have done it. I just thought she was “fancy” and I was too wrapped up in getting married to the man I loved to argue with her about anything. We got a few pieces of my practical stoneware, from her friends and more distant side of her family, that I still use 30 years later. And one of her friends took the announcement and embellished it beautifully by hand and had it set in a silver frame — which I thought was perfect and thoughtful, and I said so each and every time I spoke to them.

My side of the family sent gifts like hand-made quilts and hand-knitted afghans like the ones on my bed and couch right now. Things for a hope chest. Things that they spent hours of love and care making and that would last generations. Someone took pictures, I don’t remember who. Someone even videoed the whole thing, on VHS, it was that long ago. Mom paid for my Penny’s dress and I wore it regularly to work (since it was a 9-to-5 kind of style) for over a decade. Had happy memories every time I put it on. We stayed in a lovely bed and breakfast for a night that his parents paid for. And it was a lovely property, filled with antiques. We didn’t spend a lot of time looking at antiques, though (ha!) We were wrapped up in each other. Then we went back to North Carolina because he had to report for Monday morning muster.

I do NOT understand bridezillas. I also don’t understand the idea that you should ask friends to go in hock to attend your joyous occasion. It eludes me.

My sister’s wedding announcements were the best EVER. We all got invitations post-marked Hawaii to a party HERE and they were each laced with sand. Sand from the beach in Hawaii where she had snuck off to and gotten married. My mother said, Thank God! We had a party when she got back from her honeymoon. No stress, no fuss, a great time.

But years after I got married, husband’s little brother, my brother-in-law is getting married at the Citadel. Good for him. Sounds like fun, a full-military-type wedding, uniforms and swords, and a fairy-tale horse and carriage. We are now both broke college students again, I’m working on a masters part-time and working full-time, he’s finishing up his bachelor’s on the GI Bill. One day as the happy date is fast approaching, my MIL mentions, casually, like it was no big deal, that she needed the 130 bucks for my bridesmaid’s dress by the weekend.

I said, What?

Turns out, we were both in the wedding. Unbeknownst to either one of us. I was supposed to not only stand up with my brother-in-law’s fiance at their wedding, a woman I had never met, but also I was supposed to cough up 130 bucks for the one-of bridesmaid’s dresses I had never seen or heard about until that moment. For a wedding that had been a YEAR in the planning. That I would have to travel across two states and stay in an expensive hotel as well. None of which had been mentioned to me, much less discussed with me until that moment in time.

I did what I always had to do with my MIL, I took a deep breath, I drew a firm line and I stood behind it, hell or high water, evil witch that I am. What dastardly thing did I do to ruin her picture-postcard dream wedding of her beloved baby boy?

I said no.

My brother-in-law and his future bride came over to our apartment. My MIL sicked them on me, the shrew. I explained I loved my BIL very much, I was honored, but not only did I not feel comfortable standing up for someone I’d never even met before that moment, but we really couldn’t afford it. Any of it. (We were eating an awful lot of simple spaghetti and sauce in those days because it was cheap and filling. The dress alone would have set us back to starvation.) I deeply resented my MIL for 1) committing me to something without even asking me, and 2) putting me on the spot for having to explain that I was fiscally responsible enough to know we couldn’t afford it. Thankfully my husband backed me 100%.

My FIL got involved. He said he’d pay for everything, the dress, the trip, the hotel, everything. (Not my MIL, my FIL.) I said thank-you, it’s appreciated and the only way we could possibly attend, but I won’t be in the wedding party. I’ll attend, I’ll wish them the best. But she should pick someone she has actually KNOWN for more than the 10 minutes in my living room while I explained I wouldn’t be in her wedding party, to stand up with her on her most special day.

It was a big frickin’ deal for the next several years. MIL mentioned it A LOT. I ignored it and carried on.

The SECOND most outrageous invitation arrived via snail mail a few years ago at a low point for me during a medical scare (but I’m healthy now). It was from a (at best) casual Internet friend who asked me to drop everything, fly out to Denver and be her maid-of-honor. On the Saturday coming up. I had to email her (we weren’t close enough to have each other’s phone numbers.)

And say, Sweetie, you know I’d love to see Denver, and you, of course, and I’m honored you’d think of me to stand up for you at your wedding, but since I have surgery scheduled for the Thursday before your wedding to find out if I have cancer — or not — and might possibly be dying of said cancer — or not — and will be bed-ridden for a couple of possibly weeks after AND we have been talking about this for a couple of weeks now, I don’t think I’ll be able to make your lovely, spur-of-the-moment wedding.

Her answer, “But what will I do?”

Then…

“Can you reschedule your surgery?”

Wedding invitation requesting for all women to dress in simple black dresses, so that the bride, maids of honor, mothers of the bride and groom and the godmother will stand out from the majority of women at the wedding. It sounded like a bunch of women that nobody cared about were invited only to look as ugly as possible and make “the important women” look good. I went and got criticized for my black dress being too short and having ribbons, so basically for my dress not being ugly enough.

The requests (many of them) were not necessarily on the invitation itself, but my experience should qualify nonetheless. One of my (ex) friends decided to get married in a tiny village in Italy. She lives in a major US city and I in another. We had become pretty good friends after going to school together a few years before. She blindsided me a bit when she asked me to be her Maid of Honor (MOH), since she had several childhood friends that she spoke about frequently. But she also had a difficult personality, so I figured that might have something to do with it. At first, I accepted, but let her know that I would have to fly in the day before the wedding and then fly back the day after. I also let her know that due to my insane schedule that I would not be able to put long hours into planning either, but that I wanted to be there for her. I am a healthcare provider and run a small clinic, which leaves me very little time off, as I do not receive PTO. If I leave for any length of time, I have to either shut down my clinic or hire a locum tenens (neither are great options). At first she agreed, but then began texting and e-mailing all day every day regarding flights that had me there for the entire week. She then demanded that I take the entire week off as she had planned several outings, lunches and other events spanning the week before her wedding. As the MOH I would have to be there! She also began hinting that she wanted her Bachelorette Party in Vegas and wedding showers in both her hometown and the city she lived. I told her that I now had some reservations about being the MOH and told her that it might be better to have someone else do it, as I had little time to help with planning and couldn’t take off that much time to fly all over creation. She works for a major airline, so all of her flights are almost free. I calculated all of the expenses, which included me taking a week off of work and flying to these locations. I would have been on the hook for over $10,000 and that’s without a plus one at the wedding (my SO bowed out gracefully after learning the cost of the tickets).

After a few weeks of constant phone calls, texts and e-mail (during the day when I’m with patients) that she demand I answer immediately, I finally grew some balls and told her that I was no longer able to be her MOH. This was 10 months before the wedding, so plenty of time to find a new one. She was, of course, very upset. At that time I was (stupidly) still not ready to end the friendship, as I realized that weddings can sometimes bring out the worst in people. I told her I was still planning on coming to the wedding, but would fly in the day before and leave the day after as previously discussed. To that she responded with “why bother” and “please return the gift I gave you when I asked you to be my MOH”. It actually cost more to ship this “gift” back to her than the actual cost of the item ($6).

We have not spoken since. Thank God!

About 3 years ago, I received an invite for my son to attend his absent fathers wedding. Along with the demand for $60 for his meal at the wedding, over $200 for outfit they were going to purchase for son to be in wedding plus I was expected to take my son interstate for the wedding (over 1500kms away) and a link to the gift registry. I declined. Well my ex was discovered to be cheating while on honeymoon. Hes still paying off his $30k wedding. Then just before christmas I receive another wedding invite, again for absent father. Our son didnt even know he was engaged. Again with demands for money for plate, wedding invite and registry. This time I’ve actually been invited along with my other child. I’ve been informed that he is still cheating with same woman on new fiance so I dont see this wedding lasting any longer then his last one.

My first cousin's daughter was getting married. It was explained that as the church was small, they had to limit the congregation, but I was welcome to wait outside. I was 60 years old. I declined the invitation. There is a tendency nowadays to fill a wedding church with friends and acquaintances rather than family . I was hurt to be treated like this by my cousin whom I grew up with. Our mothers were sisters.

“This is my wedding going on, shut up everyone! Be serious!”

I had a distant aunt who was known for her eccentricities. Hindu weddings can have up to 4–5 hours of constant rituals on stage as the guests watch on or talk amongst themselves.

This was one of those routine weddings where children and parents meandered around the wedding hall meeting relatives while the couple performed ancient rituals in front of a fire. It is not meant to be a movie that everyone watches. There is nothing entertaining about it except the beginning and ending where the guests participate by showering rice on the couple.

Anyway, in the middle of the 3rd hour on a very hot Bombay afternoon, we heard the chanting stop and all the murmurs in the hall died down as the bride suddenly stood up and made her way to the microphone.

“This is my wedding going on, shut up everyone! Be serious!”

I can completely understand that the guests need to respect the occasion, however, the crowd wasn’t even all that loud. In fact, most of the kids were playing in the garden, the adults were eating, and the only people even having soft conversations were the seniors.

It was very awkward and her parents got extremely embarrassed. Her husband didn’t react but….now….15 years later…they are divorced and he got the kids.

I received an invitation quite a while ago from a former co-worker, with whom I was not very close. When I receive invitations from people I am not close to, or don’t know well, I usually just send a gift (and more than likely it will be a gift card).

I didn’t actually read the invitation until I’d had it a few days, and I had to read it a few times to actually follow along. They were having their wedding at one spot, outdoors, at 8AM. Then a short “wedding coffee” would follow. Then a reception would be held six hours later at a country club that was at least 20 miles away from the wedding spot. At this point I was happy to not be attending, but the request for gifts (and this was printed on the invitation) had me laughing. They requested that all guests refrain from bringing wrapped presents and limit their gifts to money cards and cash. I disobeyed, sent a gift card from a local store, and heard nothing more. Not even a thank you.

NO CHILDREN. NO SMARTPHONES. NO MAIDS.

Yes, you read that right. This is a common request/demand seen on most local Qatari wedding cards. Qatari weddings are held simultaneously in two venues - one for the men and one for the women. This is on the women’s side invite that these requests are typically seen.