“I Rescinded My Acceptance”: 30 Times People Called Out Entitled Wedding And Party Invitations

1990. I'm married.

A male friend of ours is getting married and had asked my husband to be in the wedding party. He said yes. We had met his fiancée, Rachel, a handful of times but never got to know her on a personal level. Because of that, Rachel had suggested a get-together at her house prior to the wedding so that all the people who would be in the wedding could get to know one another. Makes sense.

A week later I got an invitation in the mail for the party, as well as a note stating:

“You are responsible for bringing 10 bottles of soda (must be name brand), home-made brownies for 25 people, 5 bags of chips (must be name brand). Each person can bring food to put on the grill but limited to a hamburger for each, or two hotdogs each, with a small piece of chicken. The rolls for these items have been assigned to “Luanne”, as well as all condiments (must be name brand).”

My eyes! I had to read it ten times to believe it was real! Bring our own food to fit on the grill? As well as other food?

My phone rang off the hook. Everyone was comparing their “YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS” list. She assigned one person to bring garbage bags and they were the clean-up crew. Another person was assigned decorations and linens.

I, along with several others, called Rachel to decline. Her response: “Okay. But you are still responsible for your list, so please drop those items off to my house ASAP”.

I told her that she is off her rocker.

Long story short, the party didn't happen. The wedding was postponed for over a year. It did finally happen. They divorced two years later.

We made an unusual request for our wedding.

We were a bit older (37 and 43, first wedding for both), and doing pretty well, so we decided to have a nice event. We both had lots of friends by this age, so it was to be pretty big. We both loved children, didn’t have any at the time, and had been to too many boring weddings, where the guests had all been told no children were to attend.

We decided to turn that upside-down, and informed all of our guests that had children that they were not to hire babysitters, bring the kids, and if they showed up without them would be sent home to get them. Our venue had a loft that we set up as a kids area, and we hired a couple young ladies to help make sure the kids were safe and attended to.

We had 185 guests, about 40 of whom were children, from 3 weeks old to teenagers. It was delightful. There was exactly one “disciplinary incident” when a boy, about 6, threw something and almost knocked over a glass of wine, and thus had to be told not to throw things any more, please.

So that was the unreasonable demand — bring your kids, or else! Still the best day of my life.

My former Mother-In-Law, a very sweet, prim and oh so proper lady who rarely had an unkind word for anyone, received a wedding invitation from one of the children of her very long time next door neighbor. The invitation described a remote hill top wedding venue over looking the Pacific, pretty much all family and friends lived in Detroit, at some strange hour that I don’t remember. This was to be followed by a somewhat challenging hike to a remote camp of some sort for the reception. At the end of the invitation they included the following, (paraphrasing) “Since we know that most of you will not be able to attend we request that you give us cash to help pay for our dream honeymoon in…” an expensive island somewhere. My MIL was flabbergasted to say the least. I was there when she read the invitation and heard more than a few “Oh my’s” as she reread it to make sure she actually understood what they were asking.

The reaction of her children and others present was what you might expect but she didn't say anything more, tucked the invitation away and went about her business. A couple of months later I asked her what she had decided to do about the invitation. She said she sent them a very nice set of custom monogrammed bath towels (no returning those) and smiled sweetly with a slightly evil glimmer in her eyes.

I have gotten some pretty unreasonable requests from invitations to weddings. The two that were the most demanding, in my opinion, were the two that expected their guests to fly to foreign countries to attend their weddings.

It's wonderful when two people want to get married on a beach in Jamaica. However, to expect your guests to take time off of work, buy a plane ticket, incur the cost of lodging, and buy the clothes of their theme is absolutely ridiculous. This couple was enraged that they had only two guests at their wedding!

A wedding is for the couple getting married. Guests are invited to share in their experience. When a couple puts a burden on their guests to attend their wedding, it's no longer for the couple, it's about the couple. I don't mind theme weddings where a costume needs to be purchased or even a strange, outlandish bridal registry. Having to lay out five thousand dollars to attend is a bit overboard for me. But, that's just my opinion.

My best friend asked me to be her bridesmaid roughly one year before her wedding, which I agreed to do. I must point out that I am Italian and so is my friend and in Italy you don’t have bridesmaids but a “witness” for the bride and one for the groom.

In the year leading to her wedding, my husband left me and my 6 year old son (plus two dogs!) to go back to the uk (he is English) to find a job, which he did immediately. Previously we struggled for a good year relying on family for helps. Once he settled, I decided to join him with my son and dogs. The moving date was April 21 and her wedding was on May 1st. I must point out that I was completely broke at that time as a move to another country costs a lot of money, I was working part time and my husband spent almost a trying saving up for a home in England.

A few weeks before the big day I ask her what gift she wanted and she said: “well, it is tradition here that the witness of the bride and the witness of the groom buy the wedding rings”. (I later found out that this is not tradition at all!)

So I asked what she wanted me to do next and she said:” you will need to come to the jewellery shop so we can choose our rings and you pay for mine, while the other witness will pay for the other”

Remember I was broke but I was willing to fly back a few days after the move to attend the wedding and make her happy.

When I asked her how much the budget was she said she wasn’t sure, but around 350 Euros., maybe more.

I said I could not afford it and she said “ok no problem but you can’t be my witness anymore as it’s tradition! Another friend of mine agreed to buy me the ring and she will be my witness. But you can still come to the wedding”.

Needless to say I didn’t attend the wedding and haven’t spoken to her over the past 5 years. We grew up together and, I thought, we were best friends, she treated me and made me feel so small and insignificant.

They divorced less than two years later.

The bride included a list of acceptable guest attire. She wanted all women to wear sleeveless maxi dresses. I explained to her that I don’t do sleeveless as I broke my elbow as a child and I am overly sensitive to its mild deformity. I also explained at just a hair under 5′0 a maxi dress looks horrible on me. I was told “I don’t care - this is a beach wedding, you will be in the sun and it will be hot.”. I further explained due to previous sun poisoning I can’t wear sleeveless as I need to keep my shoulders out of direct sunlight. She was so insulted I was uninvited to the wedding. Win for me - loss for her as I unfriended her and heard most women wore what they wanted and she was livid that they deviated from her instructions.

This answer is really going to date me, but so be it. I received an invitation in which the bride and groom asked for money only. They wanted to take s 3 month tour overseas and wanted the guests to pay for it. It was suggested that you give $100 per person if a friend, $250 per person if a bridal party member and $500 if you were family. I was told they expected it whether you attended or not. I just thought it was rudely presented as a demand not a request. They expected us to give them $500 because our 3 children were invited. I haven’t even had a tour of Europe!

I was the one making the request, but it wasn't on the invitation.

Having attended many weddings and other events from my wife's family, I knew there would be certain family members that would show up to ours in just T shirts and jeans. Not acceptable.

So in the weeks leading up to the wedding, I went to have tea with the aunts and cousins from her fily that loved to gossip and spread a rumor that some of my friends from the army that had been in special forces were going to stand at the entrance with paintball guns and shoot anyone who showed up in t-shirts and jeans.

Not surprising, not one showed up in casual clothes and a few people who I had expected to kept asking me where the special forces guys were.

I’ve got one. I was invited to a baby shower. The invitation said “no cards, bring a children’s picture book and write a message for the new baby and mother on the inside cover.’ Okay, that’s a little bossy, but I can deal with it. It also said “only use clear wrapping paper for your baby shower gift” and gave a list of places where you could get this clear paper. That seemed odd, but I thought “okay,” and I just did it.

Here’s where it got demanding. I arrived at the baby shower with my required picture book with message inside, and gift wrapped in clear paper. I finally understood why. You see, when a gift is in clear paper, the Mommy-to-be doesn’t have to bother opening it to see what your brought. Okay, that seemed really weird — a baby shower where the Mommy-to-be doesn’t actually open the gifts in front of the guests.

So I sat down with my gift (as I was directed by the lady giving the shower) and then I was handed a “thank you card, envelope, and a pen.’ I couldn’t imagine why. We were all then instructed to put our name and address on the envelope so the Mommy-to-be wouldn’t be burdened by having to address them herself. Okay. Then we were told to open the preprinted thank you card, which had a line for us to fill-in what we had bought as a gift! So it said “Thank you for very much for your gift of ___________________________. Our new little one greatly appreciates you.” Yes, we were being asked to fill out our own thank you cards for gifts the Mommy-to-be was not even going to bother to unwrap or look at during the shower.

I also later found out from one of the other “participants” that by wrapping them in clear paper, it made it much easier to return unwanted, un-needed, or duplicate gifts directly to the store, because it showed the gift had not been opened.

They had a sheet cake, a punch bowl of punch made with frozen mix and ginger ale, and that was it. There was no gift opening or acknowledgement, no baby games, nothing. We all just filled out our thank you cards, put our gifts on or around a table, and then the guests talked with each other, and then we left. I don’t think the Mommy-to-be even said a word to me.

And the last straw? The Mommy-to-be never even bothered to mail those thank you cards she had us address and fill-out.

So I got invited to a birthday party of a woman, a friend at that time.

The venue was a 5-star restaurant.

I was humbled and loved her for the invite.

A few days before the party, she called and insisted on me bringing everyone, including my children and husband to the party.

I was hesitant.

If I were having a party at such an expensive place, I would not invite spouses and families.

I refused.

She insisted, and I had to give in.

I bought an expensive gift for her, just to appreciate her gesture and efforts.

It was a cold November night, an extreme cold weather alert in place I remember.

We arrived on time.

The servers were running left right and center, keeping up to our demands. The food was good.

I tried to limit ordering, assuming it would be a burden on her.

She kept assuring me, "It's okay-order what number 1 wants" etc.

As the party came to an end, a server showed up with a leather folder and extended it to me.

I looked at my husband, he gestured to me to open it.

Inside was the bill of our food.

A few hundred bucks.

I looked at my husband again.

He knew the look on my face.

He quietly motioned me to pay it.

Did I have a choice?

Edit: Just so I am clear, it was you pay for your own food, just that no one knew it was until the servers showed up with bills. I love pay-for-your-own-food hangouts. But when you 'invite' people for birthday parties and then insist on bringing anyone for your own fun, try to make things clear before-hand. Sure I had money and I could pay. What if someone could not afford to pay and was caught off-guard? Because I know some were!

My sister in law (now my husband's brother's ex wife), text me one night in the middle of our wedding planning (and by in the middle I mean deposits for everything had been paid and invitations were being made), and she asked

“Is your wedding date set in stone already?”

(This is a gist of how the conversation went)

Me: “Yes it is.”

Her: “Well, like have you already paid deposits? You haven't sent out invitations yet right?”

Me: “For the most part we have, we just need to talk with *insert pastor's name*”

Her: “Do you think you could change the date to another weekend? The 25th doesn't work for me.”

I literally had to read it over and over again. I read it out loud to my (now) husband. Had she really just asked us to change OUR WEDDING DAY because it didn't work for HER?! I don't know why I was surprised, she was and still is all about her.

Her: “My friend is thinking about getting married that day and I want to attend both.”

So her friend's hypotheical wedding is reason for us to change ours? Yea, no.

Me: “Sorry but we picked that day and things are already paid for.”

And that was that. I think she text me again but I don't remember what she might have said.

Oh and that friend she mentioned, still isn't married.

I was chosen as a bridesmaid for one of my friends. However, the bridesmaid dress that she chose was way too expensive (I was a student in University and money was tight). In addition to that, I had to pay for the package of skin and hair treatment prior the wedding day at the spa that she chose. And on the wedding day itself, I also had to pay for the hairstylist and the make-up person that she ‘provided’ for us bridesmaids. Those things are seriously expensive! And she didn’t allow us to do the hair and makeup ourselves as she was afraid that we won’t look good in a pictures. Also, she explicitly said that she expected us bridesmaids to gift her something from the list of the wedding registry that she had prepared and that stuff was waayyy beyond my means . So nope...sorry girl, not gonna do that.

My cousin “B” believes that she is the queen of England, and all of her subjects must do exactly as she bids. Yeah, you know the type of person I am talking about. So anyway, “B”, who is always broke and doesn’t have a pot to piss in, finally gets engaged. We are all happy for her. She’s had plenty of failed relationships- partly because she is nuts, partly because she isn’t sure what type of guy she is going for, and partly because she had picked some real jag-offs. Okay so we all hear she is getting married and we are awaiting news on the location. All of a sudden she notifies her whole family here in Pennsylvania that she and her new fiancé are moving to Florida. This seems like a difficult undertaking given that “B” doesn’t even have her own place or furniture since she bounces around between friends’ and relatives’ homes. Everyone tries to be as helpful and positive as possible so they can be happy, hopefully settle down and “B” can FIND A JOB. The family were all prepared to assist them with the wedding as much as possible. Everyone offered to take on a different job (I was making the flower arrangements). We made a huge mistake in believing that they would be grateful with a nice little wedding where everyone takes care of one aspect and she chooses the details. Since they have very little money I couldn’t fathom what else would be possible. Moving on now. A month ago “B” emails and tell us a freaking bomb. Ready for this… they are having a destination wedding to Barbados. They found the perfect venue down there who will take care of putting it together for her, allowing them to stay in the states. I guess this type of wedding is common for the resort. They have wedding packages that only require you to make a few choices and show up which sounds lovely… sounds lovely I mean for people who have that type of money at their disposal. I was in so much shock thinking of how in the hell they could pull this off with no income that I almost overlooked a tiny little detail at the end. It went like this- “Every couple will be paying $3000. That will cover your trip down, two nights stay, and a percentage of the wedding. Just think of it as a nice little Barbados getaway! While we do love kids, please make arrangements for them to stay home as we would like to keep it adults only. You can send cash or check to my address and I will give it to the resort. Ladies- please buy or bring your most “beachy” sun dress in coral or pink and men can wear Bermuda shorts and turquoise polos. If you don’t have anything that matches you can message me. I will pick it out for you and send you a link to the website for purchase. Also, if anyone would be kind enough to gift us just a little more in their check my fiancée and I will be able to extend our honeymoon. Can’t wait to see everyone there!” Yep. Needless to say we are unable to go. Maybe it was a good deal but I wouldn’t know since we don’t have money for vacations like that and I love my kids more than her. Even if we did I don’t think we would go. Just reading that email made we want to vomit and I still can’t believe she actually sent that s**t out to the family knowing none of us are super well off. Best of luck to her and her soon-to-be husband -- I do wish them lots of happiness. I hope one day she becomes aware of her selfishness. Maybe one day she will apologize for all the money I wasted making flower arrangements for her little Pennsylvania wedding that she snubbed. I don’t know if everyone would consider her request unreasonable but for me it sure was bold.

An invitation from a former friend’s granddaughter stated at the bottom, “No gifts valued at less than $100 will be accepted. See registry at ___________. Cash preferred.

How would they know whether it was $98 or $102? Does that $100 include tax, and shipping, if ordered online? At the time, I was not working and had a small fixed income. $100 might as well have been $1000.

I declined the invitation and simply sent the new couple a card wishing them well. I guess that might be why Grandma and I are now former friends.

We were invited to attend, and made plans to be at the wedding, which was across the country. We’d talked to the groom several times, and told him we were making a family trip of it. It was planned out to attend 3–4 months in advance. Less than a month prior, the groom told us we couldn’t bring our kid, and that the recommended hotel for attending didn’t have any services to watch our child. We’d booked tickets, bought clothes, and made arrangements to be there. They recommended that maybe we could leave the child, unattended (who was 2 at the time), in the room for the ceremony, and then I should stay with the child while my husband attended the reception. We didn’t go to the wedding, or take that trip. If the invitation had noted that no children were to attend, it would have been acceptable but that was not the case.

When one of my best friends from high school got married, she asked me to be a bridesmaid. I was pretty honored, and said yes. Then she told me I had to order a dress in a size 16. I was a size 2 at the time.

Her reasoning: she was portly, as were her bridesmaids, and if I was up there in a gown that showed how slim I was, I wouldn’t “match” the bridal party.

The dress was very low cut, and the only straps a loop of fabric on each side, like this, in lieu of sleeves. The skirt was much fuller.

What was I supposed to do, walk down the aisle holding my arms over my head, dragging two pounds of fabric? How would I walk with all the fabric tangling between my legs?

I rescinded my acceptance.

My father remarried. I didn't have a lot of time getting to know my step-family as I was doing grad school in a different state. However, I DID do my best to get to know them, and be as supportive, loving, and compassionate as I could be. Some years after he remarried, one of the girls my stepmom raised got married. I received my invitation to attend the wedding reception which was held a few weeks after the actual ceremony. My father, very ashamed, had already told me only 'immediate' family could attend the 4-5 day wedding celebration at a swanky bed and breakfast.
Mind you, neither groom nor bride had had a job for years. And by swank, I mean swank by Wine Country, CA standards. Yes, my father paid for the whole thing. He hated doing it! Yes, I was not invited for the 4+ days of wedding celebration. Not even invited to just attend the ceremony because it was for 'immediate' family. Oh, and the friends who were ‘like' family who did the whole 4+ days. Needless to say, I did not attend the reception. Nor did I buy anything off their registry.

Destination weddings. What possesses brides and grooms to believe that most of the people they know can afford to fly off to some exotic destination. And that all of their employers will have no problem giving them the time to do it. And that travel like that won’t be an issue for older people expected to attend … or young people who now have to figure out what to do with children for multiple overnights. I’ll toss one in for my pet owning friends … they’ll have to figure out what to do with rover and kitty for multiple days.

Even a destination a couple hours away can be a problem for some people. Those with no transportation, older people who can’t ride that far.

I’d have to say that the destination wedding is one of the most selfish and self serving wedding ideas I’ve heard of in my life.

I feel like I have a winner. There was a company wide email sent from one of the ladies in the office. I knew her but rarely spoke with her as she was in a different division and her work was completely unrelated to mine. The below is not word for word but is basically the same drift. While on vacation in Las Vegas last week (some guy nobody knew) and I got married. As no one knew about the wedding you were not able to attend or send a wedding gift so we set up a website with a link to our registry. (A list suggesting specific items was included) If you would prefer to send a cash gift a link to enter your credit card information is also included. We are going to have a honeymoon in Vegas in a few weeks so we would also like donations for money to gamble with. Thank you very much (new couples names) I never heard any discussion whatsoever about the email. I am assuming it went nowhere.

This was the tackiest thing I’ve ever seen. I was not involved in the wedding, but you certainly couldn’t miss it.

Back around 1979, the daughter of a prominent local couple was getting married. They owned a big hotel, so were well off and built a new house in a very prominent place in town. The daughter got married.

However, after the wedding there was a huge article in the local paper about the wedding. This was not the custom, so I’m not sure if they paid to have the article put in there or what the deal was.

It described in great detail everything about the wedding including how much every thing cost. For example, “the brides mother Mary, wore a beautiful gown, costing $3,000.” It went on to list how much everything cost. I couldn’t believe it.

Then it went on to say how each guest was required to bring a money gift of at least $500. Which today would probably be about $1,500. I don’t know why anyone would attend a wedding like that.

It was the tackiest thing I’ve ever seen.