Student Gets In Trouble For Her Natural Hair Color Defying Schools Dress Code, Maliciously Complies By Dyeing It

One of the most annoying things in life (and I’m sure you’ll agree, dear Pandas) is having to deal with smug and arrogant jerks who think they’re the bee’s knees and right all the time, despite the exact opposite being true. And if they’re working in the school system, you can bet that they’ll put a lot of unneeded stress on their students.

A redditor, who told Bored Panda that they want to stay completely anonymous, shared an in-depth story about what happened to their cousin, who is a senior in a private Christian high school. Naturally, some schools have very strict rules and policies related to dress codes. However, there are limits to this and it seems that some school staff might have lost their common sense somewhere along their career paths as educators.

The redditor shared how their cousin got into major trouble at school because of a natural patch of white hair that she has growing at the front of her head. Nobody believed her that it was natural and the school practically forced her to dye her hair “back to its natural color.” Scroll down to read the entire story in the redditor's own words, shared on r/MaliciousCompliance, to find out how things went and ended up. The scientific term for when a person is born with or develops a patch of white or gray hair is poliosis, from the Greek word for gray, pilios. People with poliosis either have no melanin or decreased levels of it in the roots of the affected hairs.

I reached out to the author of the post, to get their opinion about how to act during disagreements with teachers, about when dress codes are reasonable, and why they are strict to an absurd degree in some American schools. They were kind enough to answer my questions but preferred to remain anonymous to protect their identity.

"I was surprised to see how quickly [the post] blew up, but I definitely understand why it did. I think it resonated with people because a lot of people feel that dress codes, in general, are too strict and biased and because for this particular issue, its a case of the school demanding a student to literally hide part of who they are, on the grounds that their natural appearance is too 'extreme,' 'distracting,' and 'faddish,' they told Bored Panda.

According to the author of the post, the intent behind having dress codes is to prepare kids and teenagers for what to expect when they're all grown up and looking for a job.

"I think the strictness varies based on where you live, in order to conform to the general attitude of people in that area. If most of the people in that area are ultra-conservative, they most likely will want to instill those same values onto their kids, therefore, you will find that the dress codes at the schools in those areas are stricter," they told Bored Panda. "For example, in my area, there is no restriction on male students having long hair. But there was an entire school district in Texas that made headlines a while back for imposing hair restrictions for male students. Private religious schools often have even stricter rules than public schools, such as not wearing anything that, in their view, promotes 'devil worship' or what have you." Scroll down for the full interview about "ridiculous, cruel rules" that some school staff enforces because they're "on a never-ending power trip."

The author of the post told Bored Panda: "And then you have teachers, principals, other school administrators, and what have you who are on a never-ending power trip and make up these ridiculous, cruel rules such as forcing a student to style their hair a certain way because the way their hair naturally grows is 'offensive,' either because they were brought up to believe certain things about certain groups of people, or because they are just flat out cruel and sadistic. And if any student(s) go against the rules, it causes a huge amount of distress for them and their families, and reflects poorly on the school if the media puts everything on blast."

Of course, it's not all black-or-white. The redditor believes that certain things about dress codes are perfectly reasonable. There have to be some limits to what can be worn, it can't be a total free-for-all. "For instance, prohibiting students from wearing anything that has hate speech on it seems perfectly reasonable. Not wearing stuff that is too revealing makes sense IF the rules are the same regardless of the student's sex/gender identity. And speaking of which, no, I don't think students should be forced to wear clothing that conforms to their assigned gender and should be free to express themselves," they said.

"Forcing students to style their hair a certain way because the way their hair naturally grows is 'distracting,' 'extreme,' or 'faddish' definitely is too far. So what if somebody's hair looks different than most people's? They can't help it, and if they already are insecure about it, forcing them to change it will only make them more insecure," they pointed out that school staff can make students lose confidence in themselves and their identities.

The author of the post firmly believes that educating the people in charge is the first step towards changing how dress code rules are created and enforced. "Have them read articles or watch documentaries that show the long-term effects these overly strict rules have on kids. Do everything it may take to open these people's eyes to the harm these rules cause. If these people are extremely set in their ways though, this might be a long, difficult process," they said.

"Another solution would be to vet anyone who wishes to become a teacher, principal, or other school administrator to make sure that their intentions are to teach kids the things they should know about in order to be successful in the world, as opposed to trying to control their lives. And again, in areas that are more conservative, this might be more challenging as a lot of people were brought up to think a certain way about what's appropriate and what isn't, and are trying to pass those same values onto their children."

I was curious to get the redditor's opinion about how students should react if they're ever accused by their teachers of something that they know for a fact isn't true. The redditor was very open with Bored Panda that the topic of settling disputes with school staff is "very dificult" to answer because they've been a victim of this sort of treatment multiple times from several school authority figures. These experiences have left a mark and the redditor still thinks about them to this very day, even though this happened years ago.

"It really depends on the thing they are accused of doing," they said. "For having a natural patch of hair that's a different color from the hair on the rest of your head, being punished for it and forced to hide it is insane and totally uncalled for. For things such as a student doing something that is against the rules for a legit reason, the punishment should fit the crime. And speaking of crime, I think that a student being accused of doing something at school that they deny should be an opportunity to educate them about the way the justice system in America works (or is supposed to work, as we all know there's plenty about it that could be fixed)," they told Bored Panda.

"If a teacher accuses a student of doing something, the student denies it, and there are other students who can back them up, I think those other students' accounts of what happened should be taken into consideration. But I've also been a victim of other students accusing me of things that I didn't do, and the principal flat out refused to hear my side of the story. That is wrong. Just as a judge in a courtroom hears both sides of the case before reaching a verdict, I believe teachers and especially principals should hear both sides of the story before deciding whether or not to punish anyone. And like I said, the punishment should fit the crime, which it often doesn't."

None of the school staff believed the high school senior when she said that she’s always had a patch of white hair. It took her dyeing her hair, the white regrowing near the roots, and her parents showing up with family albums at the school, to actually get the staff to change their perspectives. As a result, due to all the frustration, the redditor shared that their cousin will no longer be returning to the private school next semester. Instead, she will be homeschooled.

Previously, I spoke to a member of the Grombre community that celebrates naturally gray and white hair. “We are a group of women from all around the world with different backgrounds and stories but we have a similar approach to society’s standards of beauty which is: “You don’t need to fit in to be considered beautiful,” Abu Michaelides told Bored Panda.

“I’ve always had gray hair since I was a teenager but back then gray hair was associated with older women only, so I didn’t even think of it as an option back then. So I started to dye my hair,” she shared her story.

“As the years went by, it became more and more difficult to maintain. I never really enjoyed spending hours and hours at the hairdressers, but back then it seemed like the only option. In the meantime, my mom’s hair has gone silver gradually and I really admired the color but again it was a ‘mom color.’ So, until a year ago, after spending countless hours and a significant amount of money on my hair I decided to get a pixie cut and stop coloring my hair altogether. It felt like I’ve reconnected with my real self. Best decision I’ve ever made,” Abu revealed to Bored Panda.

“For many years silver hair has been associated with older women. And even getting older is a privilege that’s been given to men. A man with silver hair is considered attractive, but when it’s a woman, well, she’s simply old. And no one wants to be seen as old and unattractive and I understand that,” she said.

“They should [stop dyeing their hair] for themselves to feel free to feel comfortable in their own skin. Once they realize they’re beautiful regardless, people will see them through their eyes too. Silver hair is just like any hair color. If you’re happy with yourself, with who you are, your energy will identify you, not your age and not your hair. Don’t let society make you think you’re not beautiful enough just because you’re different. You’re beautiful because you’re different!”